I've been with him for 11 years and it's improved but we still have mostly rough days. It's affecting our kids who are 2 and 10 and I feel mentally exhausted.
2007-01-22 00:51:38 · 10 answers · asked by in distresss 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Instead of letting it get to you, get after it. By that I mean, make sure he's getting the healthiest possible diet and exercise routine. Add a couple of supplements like omega 3 fish oil or flaxseed oil and 5-HTP to his daily diet. Make sure he's involved in lots of fun activities with the kids. Get him the book I recommend (below)... if he reads it, does the assignments, he will learn to believe in himself and will get better or even find a cure in just a few months. The mind and body work together in this endeavor, so it's important to do all of these together. How do I know this? Been there.
http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326
2007-01-22 01:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Peachy® 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you learn? That's a bit stingy on your part. Apparently on do not know what kind of hell he has to go through every day. Yes I have bi-polar and all the other goodies that come with it. First of all he needs to be going to a physiologist to be correctly diagnosed then they will try different meds for him until they find one that is right for him. It is a long process but in the end it is like you are being reborn again. You "the person with bi-polar" finally get to feel what you people call normal. It will be the best he ever felt in his life and i'm not talking about a drug induced feeling. I'm talking about a feeling of who he really is. His inter demons from his past will be gone. I take Prozac, clonazapam, and seroquel. But that is what works for me, and yes I have to take this the rest of my life which was another demon he will have to run up against. I tried many many medicines before I found the right ones that made me feel normal, I do not feel as though I'm on any medicine. That's how he should feel. He needs you to be strong for him. If it wasn't for my husband, we were married in 1984, being strong for me and sticking by all my so called problems I truly do not know where I would be today. The worst being dead. This is a serious thing, don't write it off as just some young age, or middle age thing. Its a life long thing. You are born with it and there are things in your life that make it worse. I'm sorry i'm going on and on but there are certain things people don't understand just like Rosie O'Donnell on the View made a comment about RSL (restless leg syndrome) It is very real! And as horrible as it sounds I wish she would have it to see how agonizing it is.
2007-01-22 01:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by LJD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that both you and he are going through this. Bipolar disorder can be terrible for the person who has it and their loved ones.
If your husband isn't getting treatment he really needs to be encouraged to do so. You may want to suggest going along with him to an appointment to give him some moral support and show that you're interested in his well-being.
If he's receptive to getting treatment, or currently is getting treatment, then it may be a good idea for both of you to go to a session together so that his therapist can help you both work on addressing issues and concerns together. Or the therapist may be able to talk to you alone sometimes, as long as he or she gets your husband's permission.
There are also support groups for the spouses and significant others of people with bipolar disorder (and other mental illness). You can call your local mental health center and ask if there are groups such as this available in your area. Or there are other options:
BPSO (Bipolar Significant Others) has a private, closed and unmoderated internet mailing list for people who are trying to preserve a loving relationship with someone suffering from bipolar disorder. Here is the information page on that group http://www.bpso.org/subscrib.php#info (Scroll to the bottom of the page to find the email on how to subscribe to the list)
This is a very good link that I found by Mesa Family Workshops that offers different lessons and ideas on coping with mental illness in the family. It's a lot of reading but worth taking a look at. http://www.bpso.org/mesa.htm#KEY
NAMI offers a course called Family to Family which is offered in some areas; here's the webpage http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Family-to-Family
Even if there isn't a course in your area you should give NAMI a call and find out if they offer any other courses or support groups in your area. Their number is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Remember that being supportive of a loved one with bipolar disorder or any mental illness, doesn't mean that you have to become immersed in it. Be sure to keep up your own interests, take time for yourself when you can and spend quality time with your kids. Remember also that although your husband has bipolar disorder that isn't WHO he is. Separate the person from the disorder. Love the person, even if you hate the disorder.
These are a few other tips that you may find helpful:
No one is to blame
Don't forget your sense of humor
Your family member is entitled to his own life journey, just as you are
Don't shoulder the whole responsibility; You are not a paid professional case worker so seek help from others when necessary
If you can't care for yourself, you can't care for another (which means that it's very important to take good care of yourself :) )
It is important to have boundaries and set clear limits
Take care and I hope that things work out for you and your family.
2007-01-22 07:11:41 · answer #3 · answered by mountaingirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope he is on some medication. Also try to develop a routine with chores and things. Us bipolars do better if there is routine it provides some kind of stability or balance if you will. If you want there is also counsuling that the both of you could go to or each individually. There is also the DBSA which is the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance and they have group meetings all over the country where you can discuss several topics on the issue. See www.DBSAlliance.org.
2007-01-22 01:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to seek help and do it immediatelly. Your best bet is to encourage him to do just that.
He needs help both medically (with some combination of drugs to treat the mania and the depression, not just one of them) and he needs counceling to help him through those times when the drugs are just not enough.
You ask how you can learn to live with him. Well, I have to tell you that the first thing you have to do is put your foot down and let him know that this is what he has to do if he wants to keep you and the kids.
After that it would be good at times if you could see the councelor as well to sort of get things off your chest when they start to build up.
2007-01-22 00:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by tonitunes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 of my sisters have that and sometimes all you can do is lev them alone dont try to help. just go out and do something for like 1 hour and then when you come home it should be gould agin.most of the time thay just need some alown time.i know lots more this is just a little help if you want more um well email me.
2007-01-22 00:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie and lindsay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many bi polars see themselves as victims of their condition and als think that taking their medication is a sighn of weakness. So you must instill in him the reality that it is the medication that will allow him to live a normal life, and that it is not a sighn of weakness ,rather a test of courage to take the meds and improve his life for the sake of his family...if he is not on meds ...he needs to be evaluated and get some they can turn his life around if he lets them.
2007-01-22 01:10:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be as loving and supportive as you can. Just remember that even though it's really hard on you sometimes, it's just as hard on him. If he hasn't sought medical treatment, encourage him to go. Remind him to take his meds and meet regularly with his counselor. If he balks at taking the medication or going to counseling, remind him that he's not just doing it to help himself, but for the good of you and the children, too.
2007-01-22 03:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate..It has to be hard. If you are willing to except that he wont always be the kindess person in the world..and know how to look past it..then i believe you should do fine. But you need your peace too. Only you can make that decision. Good Luck1
2007-01-22 00:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a vacation with the family sounds like its time to get away for a little while.
2007-01-22 01:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋