I have been with my partner for 18 months and he lives with me, on at least two occassions we have had a seroius talk about our relationship about certain things need to inprove if it is going to work. ie more of a sex life, help out with domestic stuff more of an effort in the relationship. Nothing seems to have changed and we are going to have a chat later about this.
Will it work or am I just fighting a losing battle? I know he loves me but it isn't enough.
2007-01-22 00:36:39 · 9 answers · asked by Hey there 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweetie - It just sounds like the 2 of you are not compatible - Just don't settle for something less than what you really want - Get out now and move on -
Then...................
Make a list of 5 or 10 things that you know are important to you in a relationship concerning your partner. Put the most important item at the top as #1, and then arrange the rest of the list in order of importance to you. Keeping in mind that at least 1/2 of the list should be 'deal breakers' if the potential significant other doesn’t measure up in those areas. And the other 1/2 of the list would be iffy on the deal breaker but nice if they were assets of his. Then don't settle for anything less than what you feel is very important in a relationship. So many people do and their life / relationship just ends up being crap and a pain in the ***. Take your time, make the right selection.
My wife and I met in a parking lot of a Walgreens when she was having car trouble - Began dating 6 months later - After dating for 4 years got engaged - Had a 2 year engagement before getting married - And after 2 years of marriage still enjoy each other immensely, are just as much partners as lovers and decided to go down this path because we "compliment each other' verses deciding to put up with or accept this or that just for the sake of being w/ someone.
So, take your time, make a good choice - Just as if you were buying a car, house or anything else - Don't settle for a piece of crap that your have to fix up or screw with all the time!!!!
Take it or leave it..................
2007-01-25 12:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him? If so i say yes it is worth the battle. You dont find true love often, and it is hard work. Who ever says relationships are easy don't know what they are talking about. No one can say for sure if a relationship is going to work out or not, you just have to try your best at giving it a go. The key thing is communication, if you can be open, honest and truthful with each other you are half way there. The fact that you have these talks is a great thing, you just need to put them into action. Have your talk and when you do set goals/targets/rules (whatever you want to call them) that the both of you can work together at as a couple i.e make a goal that you will try at least once a month to go away for a dirty weekend (its great fun) this will involve both not just one of you making the time so you can do this. If one of you cooks then make it so that the other does the dishes or cleans up. The point is that is doesnt feel like just one of you is making all the effort, if you make it a joint effort you should get a better response. It worked for me. My partner said that we didnt have much of a sex life, he blamed me and i blamed him so i decided to take action I booked us a weekend away and he was totally suprised. The fact that we made time for each other and got out of the 'routine' seemed to work (one of you may need to initate things first and it may need to be you but don't see that as he doesn't care. It just gives things a kick start and shows that you are 100% committed to making things work). I wouldnt give up just yet, try new things and talk more often about how you think things are going and you may find you are able to work things out. Most of all enjoy each other - it should be fun as well.
2007-01-22 01:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking is easy doing is different.! It is important that these chats are not all focusing on the negative aspects of your relationship. You need to focus on what works well. People's concepts of how much is enough or what is right vary. For example he may see his way of doing housework right and you dont but the fact is if he is helping out then appreciate it , you cant turn him into your clone, that is what individuality is all about. Sex and housework are common issues all marriages and relationships but they are not the whole thing.
However, you are not happy or content and you deserve to be but I hope it is more than just these basic issues that are causing you to consider you ending your relationship. Write a list of positives and negatives and weigh them up. Write down your goals and his and see if at all you are on the same wave length from this I think you will gain knowledge of where this relationship is heading
2007-01-22 00:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there......
Sorry to hear that things are difficult, but you realise that there are times in every relationship when people feel like you do right now.
That dosn't make it any easier I know but a problem shared is a problem halved.
You already seem to be able to talk to each other so that is a good start as communication is so important.
you might want to give marriage guidance / counselling a try, it could help to identify problem issues & set a pattern to change bad habits etc.
I hope things work out for you
2007-01-25 14:56:12 · answer #4 · answered by healer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if it takes so much effort on your side, and it doesnt seem he is pulling his weight, then well, he is taking you for granted. he may be in a comfort zone of laziness, but its wearing you out. the fighting will continue for a long time... and sometimes love isnt enough. but only you know, as you have been in the situation, and know what he is like.
take care, all the best.
2007-01-22 00:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by aisha l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will relish in case you do no longer use any prolonged emotional speeches or strengthen any uncooked themes,or use excuses in basic terms be elementary short and compassionate, do no longer use cliches in basic terms take a seat him down privately and clarify you think of there is themes interior the courting that cant be worked out and in step with risk we would the two be happier going our separate techniques im going away for a 365 days and think of it may be too annoying to objective and make this artwork long distance while issues are so annoying now im sorry,i think of its superb if we in basic terms pass on do no longer say you adore him/you will consistently love him (care approximately him) i like somebody else/you do in contrast to me do in basic terms no longer provide fake wish or upset him anymore, the quicker you do it the greater advantageous decrease off touch its superb interior the long term stable good fortune,
2016-10-31 23:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by englin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are saying it isnt enough for you then you must have answered your own question - the question you need to ask yourself is do you love him enough to compromise your standards and expectations from a relationship
2007-01-22 00:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by Joanne A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard one really, if you walk away its 18 months down the drain, but you have to be happy in what you do and what you are !!
have a talk and just spell it out, you have to !!
keep smilin and good luck !!! Jay
2007-01-22 00:43:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't change people unless they are willing to..
2007-01-22 00:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Promise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋