Am I handling this right?

Question

I'm kinda enduring an awkward situation at work. One of my closest guy friends works at the same place as I do and I began to develop feelings for him though he has a gf. I told him I liked him and I felt it was best that we ignore each other for awhile so I can get over him. Anyway he asked me if I wanted to hook up with him, i said i did, but then he said i should do it with another guy I like. Anyway during all of this, I got mad at him for jerking my feelings around and I ended up calling him a dog, but then I apologized. The thing is I said all of this via text. The next day I wrote him a letter saying how sorry I was for how I acted, and that it was better that we treat each other as professionals since he has a gf and I need to move on. The thing is that he ignored me. So far, we've been ignoring each other for the past 3 weeks and now it is awkward and i miss talking to him sometimes. Whenever we pass each other it is awkward. What should I do?

Answer 1

You should keep doing what you have been doing. You got exactly what you wanted. You wanted him to ignore you. When things calm down, you to will be able to talk again. I t just takes time

Answer 2

Treat him as you would any professional coworker.
Answer questions politely and stick to business.
A cardinal rule is to never let ANY coworker know you have ANY "feelings".
No sex in the same office and no sex in the same apartment complex. Somebody will be moving elsewhere eventually.
Yes, you can attempt to reconstruct the pals, flirt, trolling-the-waters relationship by any of the methods suggested here. Most of them have a fair chance of success. However, what will be the eventual outcome? Since you realize that you had feelings for him before, you will have them again but more strongly. Because he jerked your feelings around at all, indicates he is not interested in a long-term relationship. Giving you a silent treatment does not show he is mature and professional; it's a game. Hooking up with him is short-term. If you want some casual sex, that's OK. If you want a longterm committed relationship, that would be even better. But it's a disaster in the making with that guy. It will not be long before you are looking for another job and possibly with a shot reputation.

By treating him as any other professional and keeping all comunication with him 'business only', he will eventually get over the situation and resume being friendly and the awkwardness will be history.

Answer 3

It seems he was trying to gently steer you away from him and onto that other guy , hopefully without hurting your feelings. He is just a man, we are not good at thinking about these things. He has gone with the first plan he could think of to fend off your advances.
Wake up and smell the roses, he does not want a bf/gf relationship with you, not at the moment anyway. Leave it alone for as long as it takes, sounds as if he can still pick up on your desperate vibe. Writing the letter, even to apologise, just made you look like a stalker. Let it go. Believe me, your interest in him is more obvious to him and everyone else than it is to you.

Answer 4

Is this dejavu?This question has popped up before.Any way,You were wrong from the start.If the situation is awkward now then why do you think it's this way?You were friends,he has a girlfriend,you tried to move into their relationship and he probably thought it was a joke or maybe he considered it but backed off.You are the dog in this and he is the person of character here,at least he didn't go for what he certainly could have gotten.I say kudos for him and lesson learned for you,stay out of other women's beds.

Answer 5

You have done the first thing and that is realize that you were wrong for the reaction that you gave him. Being a the good friend that you say you are/were to him you should have known better than to try to step in on him and his gf. If you are really that friend that you say you are, then give him a minute to cool down. Continue to be polite to him. Smile, say hello yet give him his space. When he is ready to talk to you, he will do so. If it goes on too long and he doesn't talk to you, kindly go to him and talk to him. Don't do it over the phone or through text, do it in person. Apologize for your actions and let him know that you respect him as a friend.

Answer 6

You suggested you both ignore each other in the first place so you shouldn't be complaining. In my opinion you should never have told him your feelings had changed, not least because he has a girlfriend. You're going to have to talk to him and say you regret the things you said but in order to avoid any awkwardness you both need to be polite to one another at work. You're going to have to accept you miss him and find another friend.

Answer 7

I think there is no relationship or affection between both of you. First of all you take another path and move on with your life without bothering about this guy and act as a normal co-worker. Speak to him regarding the work and in case you want to really keep a relationship, just speak to him and apologies for the whole episode.

Answer 8

Continue on with what you are doing. Ignore each other but continue to be professional. He is in a relationship and it sounds like he has decided to stay in it. It is best for you to move on and wait until you meet a single guy to get involved.

Answer 9

He's feeding off of your pain. End that. Pretend it never happened, and when he brings it up (he WILL bring it up), be all "oh yeah, I used to think I sorta had a crush on you, but I out grew that." Then talk about the guy you REALLY like. If that guy doesn't exist... make one up and pretend you "see him walking around sometimes at lunch", or "on the elevator" or something. Let him know that little crush on him was replaced with a bigger crush on a "much cuter guy."

Answer 10

Why do women want what they cant have? Whats the matter you cant find you your own man? I tell you the truth! I had the same situation at my workplace and she is married but the more i rejected her the worse she got. I'm talking borderline KRAZY!!!