Ive been seeing my boyfriend 4 over 2 years now, when I met him he was rough around the edges, sold abit of this n that, didn't have a job. Anyway over time things changed he got a job and his life improved a whole lot, we went out heaps and enjoyed life together. but now he is going down the same path again and I have told him it's either that lifestyle or me, cos i don't have the energy to go through all that crap again. I haven't heard from him in two days. Should I call him? i want to be strong but i'm so worried.
2007-01-21 22:07:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been through the same thing..You can't change him, the only thing you can do if you truelly love him, is talk to him about it & if he decides that he would rather have that then you, then he isn't worth your time & your heart ache. They can only change if they want to. Noone can make them. He will regret his choice if he chooses that over your love. Take care & good luck..
2007-01-21 22:16:18 · answer #1 · answered by lori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are creatures of habbit. Will you ever stop a guy from checking out other women. No. No man will ever stop completely. Its a simply fact of life. Just like if you see a flash of light you're going to look at it. Hear an explosion going to look at for it. Attractive is called attractive because ... well "Attract" "ive". I have = me.. Attract Me ... Yea not an actually break down of the word but it serves my purpose. As for the insults... Whoop his *** (kidding). Seroiusly though, that is going to come back from the sounds of it. Could be wrong. But insults are showing disrespect and why would you change for someone you dont respect? It's all a matter of whether he has the intellect to sit down and discuss on an even field, no-one feeling superior, and putting everything out. No emotional statements just pure "this is this" "that is that". black and white and once that's done give room for each other to go into the "grey" area. Now this sounds cold and callous. and Generally difficult to tell if someone is on the same level or just playing along. But it does work generally for the better.
2016-05-24 15:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him! try talking about this with him without giving him an ultimatum. Maybe he has a reason ( good or bad) to be choosing to go down the same old road once more. For instance, he might be finding it increasingly difficult to cope with work related stress. Whatever the reason behind the change, once spoken about, you and him together can work out a solution for it.
If you've been with him for 2yrs, you ought to try to get to the bottom of what is really going on with him at this point.
2007-01-21 22:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound to me like ,thet he is going through a phase at the moment .i would sit back and wait to see.maby he is not happy with his job.men tent to go through phases like that.i have been married for 24 years.it is not a good idea to start with giving altimatums.that just put`s more pressure on people and most tent to rebell automaticly when being faced with an altimatun.stubbern people especielly will feel overwehlmed and rebell.instead of giving altymatums you should try to use reversed phycology.when you finelly get to talk to him ask him what is bothering him.life is not easy.be the strong one and let him think that you didn`t mean to give him an altimatum.you are just worried.make him tell you what is bothering him.it don`t take much energy to do this.i wouldn`t call him just yet.
2007-01-21 22:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Heike P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong. You really can't change anyone but you can try and pump him up or just tell him how much you love and support him. Then, let go of his burden. Don't put it on yourself. That's the only way another person can take on their own responsibilities is when you stay away from it (that topic). Just let him decide what he wants to do w/his life. He wants to be a bum forever then let him be a bum forever that's his fault not yours. Then maybe after he sees how pathetic he is, he'll change, and it won't be because of you but because of him.
2007-01-21 22:20:25 · answer #5 · answered by adorable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't change a person when you love him or her because when you love someone you accept his good qualities as well as his bad qualities so accept him as he is and try to understand why he is bahaving like that and what is bothering him instead of thinking of changing him or her and being too aggressive and thinking on the lines of breaking or showing attitude.
Well never show attitude in a relationship because you may never know what the other person is going through unless and until he tells you, So try and understand his point of view.
2007-01-21 22:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by Bold & Beautiful 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait for him to contact you and then try and communicate with him. if he cant do that then im sorry but i would moveon! try and find out why he is sliding down. is he worried about anything, has something happened. he may actually need your support and dosent know how to approach the issue!! if all else fails then part and move on with life! there is a whole new adventure out there. enjoy it :-)
2007-01-21 22:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by flubberlubberlubber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you know what you should do but seek confirmation somehow... You know what you are worth, you know what you deserve so why settle for less? You wasted 2 years trying to change beast to suit beauty and it aint working so stop wasting years of your life you cant get back on someone who wont even measure your worth?
2007-01-21 22:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just remember, you're never too old to change..change doesn't come overnight...and with change comes difficulties...give him time..if he's worth it, he'll come back to you, wait a while b4 you call b/c i understand that you love him and that you are worried, but sometimes you must be patient..sit and talk to him heart to heart in a way..let him know what's up and how you feel..maybe he'll even open up...he could be going through something or still dealing with past issues himself
2007-01-21 22:13:56 · answer #9 · answered by music ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ride it out and let him think- maybe he will see what his crap is costing him- and what is most important to him- if you are not most important - move on- or he will just continue his crap- you cannot change him- only his decisions will- keep your stand=D
2007-01-21 22:13:03 · answer #10 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋