i left my husband for a man who i fell deeply in love with. I work with him, and moved in and everything was great until i found him sneaking around in the middle of the night on yahoo instant mail. I have confronted him and caught him a couple of times but he denied it. now he only does it when im out of the house. i have opened an account to see when he is online but i don't know if it's cheating or not. he only does it to see other women on web cams and have dirty chat. when he's satisfied he logs off. I don't know what to do as if i mention it too much he gets annoyed and everything else is great with our relationship. do i just take it that it's something he does?
2007-01-21 21:17:16 · 47 answers · asked by aiko I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like what comes around goes around.
2007-01-21 21:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well... to me the first sign was that he was with YOU when you were already taken. Like they say, once a cheater, always a cheater... and that includes the person who's not already involved but is contributing to the cheating with the other person. If your truly in love with this man and vice versa, then perhaps you should have a conversation with him (not in the middle of the night but some other time that is convenient for both of you) about his late night "chatting". I would advice you to warn him that if you indeed catch him cheating in any way, shape or form, that it's over. And you should clarify with him so that he's sure it will TRULY BE OVER. There is no 2nd chance. Of course he's annoyed when your asking him about it, that is probably because he's guilty of SOMETHING. You say once he's "satisified", does that mean that your allowing him to go only so far with his cheating? For example, do you allow him to flirt and/or look at pornography but as long as he doesn't have a LOVE relationship, than it's okay? Remember, you have to put your needs/feelings/judgement first otherwise you will end up getting hurt in the end.
2007-01-21 21:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well we all make mistakes...and only God can judge you not me...but you should probably see that if he truly cared about your feelings he shouldn't have a problem speaking to you on behalf of your disappointment towards his internet usage and purposes...but you should probably try to work things out with him at an appropriate time...becuz i learned the hard way that the right time means alot,but if he really cared he should stop,you deserve better if you're nothing but a good companion,but r u truly deeply in love with HIM or his LOOKS,cause baby looks will fade,the heart and what it is made of will never die..God Bless
2007-01-21 21:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
guess that is for you to decide if you can deal with him sittin in the house lookin at photos and such of other women then fine at least hes not at a strip club and if you cant and it bothers you to much then you need to tell him that he either needs to stop or you are going to move out because you dont like it...... is he giving you the attention that you need... watching the stuff on web cam really isnt any different than watching a porn flick or reading a dirty magazine as long as its not going any further than watching... as far as cheating thats your own battle and you have to decide how you feel about it... its not like hes in bed with another woman just watching them.. you need to decide how you feel cause i gaurentee your gunna get a million different answers on here and you are the only one that can decide...
but if your bf is into these kinda sites try www.anywebcam.com... its a website where couples can go and do couple things on cam for other couples... its free unless u up grade so maybe you can incorporate it into your relationship
best of luck
2007-01-21 21:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by jingles 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only one who knows is your boyfriend. I highly doubt that he is actually cheating on you. That's just your insecurities from leaving your husband. Because you did something like that its at the top of your head. Sit your boyfriend down and ask once and for all what's going on. Tell him that its just eating you up inside and that you know he's annoyed by it but you can't take wondering if your going to lose the love of your life. He's probably just getting some excitement from chatting. That's totally up to you whether you agree with him doing it or not but the only way its going to get solved is to talk it out. Good Luck.
2007-01-21 21:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He could be e mailing a girl friend as it is a fairly secure way to get messages on a shared PC as the log on procedure requires codes etc that cannot be seen.
Answer is a probable yes. He has done it once with you so maybe he has reached the limit of his affection.
2007-01-21 21:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by ANF 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are with a man who knew you were married--rather a low thing to do. Didn't respect you as a part of a couple--so he is now showing you HE has no respect for you as a partner. You have to be careful for what you wish for. Have you made it clear that you do not appreciate it?? And have you clearly defined what course of action you will take if he keeps up this activity? You probably know this won't get any better--maybe you better face reality before you go any further. Find a man with more to do with his time.
2007-01-21 21:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi! I'm no professional in giving advice, but I think he has some fetishes and wild fantasies. Ask him what turns him on rather than interrogating him on his web cam episodes. Try and indulge into something different with him. That's if you genuinely love him and that you're prepared to keep him happy. Be proactive.
2007-01-21 21:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by Alien 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think he is looking for someone new. You are a won game. He is setting his chess board for a round with lady. Sorry girl. Go back to husband if possible.
2007-01-21 21:34:45 · answer #9 · answered by good-for-all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe this is something you can talk it out and solve without hurting your relationship,let him know that you dont like what he does.Confronting him might hurt your relationship and if you break up everybody will see you as somebody who cannot stay in relationship bcoz remember you left your husband for this man
2007-01-21 21:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by dorica w 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cheated on your (ex) husband , so I say your doomed.
The only one that will come out ahead in all this is your (ex) husband.
You will fall time and time again stumpling through dark temptation and so will all who walk hand in hand with you, forever you long for what is missing when it was right in front of you all along.
Being blind is not a loss of sight, it's a loss of insight you are doomed.
2007-01-21 21:24:47 · answer #11 · answered by yawhosucs 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋