My boyfriend's parents don't like me because of my background.?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for over 6 years and I still feeling uncomfortable around his parents. Last year Christmas Eve I had Christmas dinner with his family and i got a serving plate for his mom as Christmas gift. In returned, she give me a box of unwrapped chocolate. I have a strong feeling that she doesn't like me. Few months later, one night after work, my boyfriend drive to my workplace to picked me up and he told me that his mom doesn't like me because i don't have a B.A degree and came from a poor family. My boyfriend is a B.A graduated from a private college and his sister going to get her Master Degree and his parents is owners of two stores. I came from a working family and i have only recieved 3 certificates and a Associate Degree. His parents don't want us be together because of my background. My boyfriend don't mind but it's bothering me. I have never think of marriage with my boyfriend because of this problem. I want his parents to like me. what should i do?

Answer 1

am sorry for you but try to make them understand that education is something but love is something else.......love you have for him do not depend on your education

Answer 2

Hun u r what u r..just because u don't have a B.A degree that doesn't give anyone the right to disrespect u. It's good that your b/f doesn't care about your degree and all that...i hope he respects u all his life.what do u think..would he?however, u cant really make someone like u..it's their fault that they don't appreciate u even after all the efforts u r putting.U should try keeping in touch with them more often.Try helping his mom around the kitchen and have pleasant small chats during that.But whatever u do..don't lose your dignity.U might not be that affluent..but u r definitely as much human being as they are.let your boyfriend know what it bothers u.He would try to help bridging the gap.good luck:)

Answer 3

Assuming that you're a sociable person, with a good intellect, that you can form a decent sentence and use normal English (or American English) grammar, that you can converse well and listen with interest then you do not really need to do anything.

You do not need a piece of paper to prove that you are a decent person. Also In all of my years, I have found that people who go into higher education because they were pushed by their parents rarely get as far, as quickly, as those who enter further education later on in life (whether 2 or 20 years later). Live life a bit then see if you need / want to go back.

Also - raise the subject with the woman, if it really is getting to you. The trouble here is that SHE is the person with the attitude problem and discussing it with her might not get you the result for which you are hoping.

Finally, discuss it once or twice with your boyfriend, but never push it and, whatever you do, make sure that it never looks like you are trying to force a wedge between them; mothers are frequently over protective of their children, and if he is either the first-born or an only child then you will have your work cut out to 'prove' yourself.

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear about this. I know how you feel - I had no formal qualifications when I dated my first real love - although now I have 2 degrees and I played the violin quite well, (though I say so myself!) which is more than he did! So you see, it does not matter about academic achievement. All you can do is be polite and keep a sense of dignity and grace - don't try too hard, step back a little. Sod them really. Why are they important to you? Its their son your seeing, not them. I quite like answer 2 as well! - but make sure you are going to get married first!

Answer 5

You can only be yourself - don't try to be someone you're not... If he loves you hopefully his mother will get over it although six years is a long time for her to be funny with you - well done for getting this far really! You are not a better or worse person if you come from a privileged or poor background, if you have more or less money or if you have a degree or not. You are you and that's why your boyfriend loves you. Discuss your concerns with him and hopefully things will turn out for the best - good luck.

Answer 6

You will just have to try to gain their respect over time, if he's worth it. Just be there for him and support him etc If they are really that shallow, then it's their problem. There's nothing you can do about your background and you should be proud of it anyway. However, 6 years is a long time - do you love him? Is he not taking you seriously enough? Having a mother-in-law who treats you like crap wouldn't be easy, and he will probably always laugh it off or take their side. If you had kids it would only get worse. You can't make anyone like you, so just do what is right for you.

Answer 7

You don't have to prove anything to his parents he is the only one that counts. They seem to be a bunch of snobs. They should like you because you make their son happy and he should tell them that. He is the key here, he has to put his foot down with them he has to tell them you are the one for him and they have to deal with it and that they better respect you. Their is nothing wrong with your background. I came from the same back round as you and I am now a very rich guy. So hang in there and if your boyfriend don't step up to the plate for you then you dump him and find another guy without all the hang up. GOOD LUCK HONEY.xx

Answer 8

I have a 7years and 3 months relationship with my boyfriend and we been to that kind of situation before but a little twist. My parents doesn't like my honey beacause he came from a broken family. He courted my mom first by helping in some chores at home - simple chores like washing the dishes, knowing that he came from a wealty family. Then he asked me what my dads hobbies are and they to enjoy those hobbies. It now shows that my parents cares more to him than me.

Answer 9

You can't make someone like you. Even if you were to go and start on that degree they would still find a reason not to like you. For example she didn't get her BA from a private school. His parents are snobs, period. If you two want to get married reguardless of what his parents think great go for it. However if your hoping to get the parents approval before you tie the knot. Then plan on nver getting married or finding someone else who's parents approve of you.

Answer 10

If you like them thats good enough effort for them to like you, If they dont leave them, its in their nature. As long as you and yuor boyfriend are OK then its fine. How can you say thats the reason you never thought of marriage, what you saying in you destiny is in their hands, they keep hating you and you wont marry him. Everyone has their own life to live , you and your boy can marry and live happily whether they like it or not. One thing in life, never worry about how to impress someone, it takes too much effort coupled with low self respect. Jus be yourself and live hapily, yor boy is a good man because he dated you for so long despite your background. 6 years dating is long i think you guys should get married or something will happen to break you up

Answer 11

he has very shallow parents and don't care about chemistry in a relationship. marriage is about being there through thick and thin. there is no reason why they shouldn't like you unless you were convicted of several crimes or a drug addict. You should respect his parents but you don't have to like them. Don't change yourself for them, if you do you'll be getting even less respect from them.