My daughter is nearly five and is very sweet and kind. She is very popular with adults because of her lovely nature. Lately when she has been playing with her bestfriend she has been naughty. She ran off with her and crossed a busy road without me knowing where she was and today at her day-care house she and her friend poured water over the carers carpet. My daughter has been with this carer for 3 years and we treat her like family. I was shocked when she told me what the girls had done. Later at home when I asked my daughter whose idea was it she said her friend said to do it or else she wouldn't be her friend. What should I do about this friendship? They are about to start school together so I am hoping my daughter will hopefully make some other friends. Should I speak to the girls mother?
2007-01-21 20:25:23 · 18 answers · asked by skyymum 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Thanks to everyone for their answers, it has really helped.
2007-01-22 14:08:49 · update #1
oh goodness don't even go there.... when an adult starts the whole "Whose fault is this?" thing that is when prolems will arise that will never settle...
Just accept that the only child you can deal with is your child and believe it or not of your precious little angel she is NOT being led astray by her friend..... she is responsible for her actions and the minute she says "but she said".... she is shifting blame for her behaviour off on to someone elses shoulders... stop her right there.... if your child took part in the action it does not matter one little bit whose idea it is was or wasnt.... when dealing with your child do not ever accept the whole story telling thing... instead focus on your child only... and reprimand your child for her behaviour... tell her very plainly that she is not a sheep and should not behave like one... doing things just because others do is not what grown up girls do...
and trust me the most adorable and well behaved children will venture into mischievous behaviour....simply because it is FUN!
come on you remember doing naughty stuff just because it was fun right?? (Gee I hope your mum didnt let you blame everyone else)...
Your daughter needs to know that no matter what her friends do she does not have to join in..... you will not be able to prevent her from making other friends nor will you be able to make her make new friends either.... she needs to be in charge of her own friendships... and in charge of her own behaviour.... no matter what the friends do...
You seriously do not want a 13 year old who does as she likes and gets away with it because she can convenintenly blame her friends........
2007-01-21 20:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the carer about who they thought was encouraging the behavour or that they keep an eye on what was happening when situations like that occured. I would also talk to the parent of the child.
I know even when I was a child sometimes a mix of personalities can create a concoction of naughtyness, even if one child is normally sweet natured. Im not sure what actually causes this but maybe they don't suit each other as friends.
If the child is black mailing your child into doing things, tell her that friends don't do that, and if she really doesnt want to do something that she should say so, and if the friend doesnt listen then to go to the carer for help.
2007-01-21 20:33:24 · answer #2 · answered by ♪ Rachel ♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking to the girls mother probably won't help. The child probably is never told the word NO at home. Tell your daughter that this little girl isn't the kind of friend she needs. Tell her that if the girl were really her friend, she wouldn't threaten to take away her friendship if your daughter didn't follow her orders. Explain it to her in five year old terms though.
2007-01-21 20:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think speaking to the girls mother will do any good at all she will think her little girl is an angel just like you think of your daughter the only thing you will accomplish is that you and the other mother probably wont speak have a word with your daughter and tell her its naughty to do these things but you have to remember they are only 4 years old and everything is fun to them your daughter will make new friends when she goes to school but who's to say her other new friends wont be as bad.
2007-01-21 21:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by andrea.barrett36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, please do speak with the child's mother. Not to play sides, but if needed, if she doesn't listen to you, possibly have the care giver have a talk with her-since she can see what is going on? As for your daughter, are there any other children there she could draw her attention to, if needed? So she can see that other children will be her friend, even if this one child dosn't want to be. School will be a big help for more friends, too. Take care.
2007-01-21 20:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to the girls mother. as you maybe able to keep them apart out of school. but in school nothing can be done unless you pre warn the teachers about this problem. hopefully this girls mother will be helpfull to you and talk to her daughter about what is going on and hopefully find out why and stop it or you could work together on it. sometimes they both probably decide to do these naughty thing together. it is odviouse this girl is very dominating over your daughter. please tell your daughter she dont have to do anything naughty no matter what this girl says to her. so hopefully these girls can remain friends.nicely. good luck.
2007-01-21 20:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to the other Mom, but really you need to hold your own daughter responsible for her behavior and make sure you have appropriate consequences. Does it really matter who's idea it is? Your whole message seems to be justifying your daughters behavior.
I would take a very tough stand with her, and don't ask who's idea it is. It doesn't matter!
2007-01-21 21:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by avalonlee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes u can talk to her friends mother But i also think that even don't let ur child to be her friend . tell the day carer that she purposally try to break their friendship . even talk to her mother about it .
2007-01-21 20:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by dilu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definetely speak to the girls mother 1st!! if the girls mother doesn't clear it up,then make sure they are no longer friends!
2007-01-21 20:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best friend of any girl is her mother , so let her mother Handel her problems. You can advice your wife what you think is right.
2007-01-21 20:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by Bolan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋