i was going through my boyfriends messages when i saw a message he sent to his friends girlfriend it started like this "my pulse whats up was just thinking about u when your message came in" honestly i dont know what to think i accused him of cheating but he claims that he's not and that the girl in question is his friends girlfriend that he would not date his friends girlfriend. honestly i am so confused.
2007-01-21 19:49:33 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey from a text like that it's hard to say whether he's cheating or not although I can totally understand why you felt he might be and also why you reacted quickly (although not entirely sensibly) by accusing him of cheating.
Whether he's cheating or cheated on you or not isn't the question here. The question is, do you think it's acceptable for your man to be communicating with other women so flirtatiously and even if it is innocent banter, do you feel ok with it?
My answer is no, I'm quite old-fashioned and I don't believe that it is acceptable for my man to flirt with other women - friend's girlfriends or otherwise.
If he feels it's ok to behave like that and you don't then bin him off for someone who is more suited and who will respect you enough to care about your feelings.
2007-01-21 22:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, first of all why were you going through his messages, is there something already there that you have reason not to trust him, and secondly most men would lie and cheat their way out of a paper bag, there are some honest ones out there of course there are but for you to feel the need to check his messages in the first place sends alarm bells ringing, do you really love this man and want to be with hI'm, if so tell him in no uncertain way that you won't put up with being messed around and the first time he does anything it is over between you both, you don't deserve to be messed around, and you don't know for certain if he is cheating on you so you will have to take his word for it that he is not, you know him better than us, do you think he would do something like this, im not surprised you are confused, if you are just staying with him so as not to be by yourself do your self the biggest favour of all and let him go and spend time getting over him then find your self the kind of man you deserve, i wish you all the luck in the world xx
2007-01-21 20:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by whitleylass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does sound confusing. Why were you going through his messages- did you have a reason to suspect that he was cheating? I personally think that other people's messages are not for general viewing but that would not excuse him if he was cheating.
I think you can only ask him honestly what is going on and then decide if you trust him and if he is telling the truth if he denies it.
2007-01-21 22:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by girly girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch you must be suspicious in order to read his text messages also sounds as though you do not trust him.
If he went through your messages how would you feel? we are our own worse enemies just have to stick our noses into things then get worried if we find something.
Accusations are not healthy if you have nothing but here-say to back you up also not very good for relationships.
Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt but if it happens again or his behaviour changes, well could be signs.
Try not to let this get out of hand and i am sure you will be able to solve it, if not there are other options.
2007-01-21 22:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by rachelsweet2001 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am probably not the best person to answer this really!! I am a total jealous nut and would (and have in the past!) go absolutely mental over that text!!
I regularly check my fellas phone/pockets/wallet - firstly its human nature and anyone that says they don't do it is a total fibber!! I do it because its also human nature to flirt or to allow someone to boost your ego - we all do it - we all enjoy it - it doesn't mean he is up to something - he could just be having some friendly banter!
the best thing to do would be to say to the girl next time you see her in a very "joking" manner " hey does your fella know your texting my fella - if I didn't know better I'd think something could be going on!??" that should nip it in the bud!!
2007-01-21 23:19:27 · answer #5 · answered by Grace - baby No.2 due in October 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry for invading here ( no men! ) but as a mere male, I suspect that your boyfriend is acting immaturely and spreading his wings rather than retaining total loyalty, which is clearly what you want and need in your relationships. I am afraid that this type of discovery will always cause you doubt ..... you can choose to ignore but if it crops up again ..... I suggest you look elsewhere too. Frankly, if I had a girlfriend doing that, I would kick her into touch pronto!
2007-01-21 20:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you look hard enough you are going to find something.....what is wrong with everyone on here sying they look through other peoples messages...how would you feel...if you are going to do that then you should expect to find things you dont like sometimes....why dont you just ask your boyfriend to explain it to you now youve done the deed of looking through his stuff...you might as well...tell him you dont understand and would like him to explain...there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation or not...either way only your boyfriend can answer that one...no one on here knows...
you might have a go at looking at some of your insecurity too...i would go nuts if i thought anyone was trawling through my messages...what an invasion of personal space...
if you were a little less insecure you might be able to accept that if he's going to do something he's going to do it whether you worry about it or not...the more invasive and jealous you are...the more you are going to push him in the right direction and prime him to 'cheat' ....the more rope he gets...the less likely he is to hang himself...ease up ...enjoy what you have...life is too short to wander through it being suspicious and jealous...enjoy the good...;0
2007-01-21 22:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the only reason why i go through my bf's email txt's and nexopia messages is for the same reason as you, but the thing is my bf and i have cheated on eachother so i have a ligitimate reason to be worried and concern to do that. but dont bring stuff like that up right away i know its tempting not to cause you just want to know what the f*ck is going on but just keep it in the back of your mind and see where it goes and email the evidence you find to your owon email and when you finally want to spill the beans on him you got proff to back it up. or by doing that and he's really not doing anything would totally f*ck up your relationship meaning he wouldnt ever have trust in you again and your relationship would be doomed in that caase start look ing for a rebound.
2007-01-21 20:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm can he give a reasonable explanation as to what she said in the text to get his pulse up!? Only one thing comes to mind for me - I think he very well could be cheating - it makes no odds if shes his girlfriends mate or not - some men are dogs!
xx
2007-01-21 21:28:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky 1, y would he have that on his phone if he says nothing is goin on? it could be just a bit of flirting but still you dont want your boyfriend to do that. If you cant trust him neway i dont think the relationship really has a future, so if i was you i would cut my losses and find someone new. Good luck xx
2007-01-21 20:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋