How much do you feel is appropriate to tell a child (4 year old) about child birth?

Question

I personally feel that too much at this age could affect them negatively. I certainly don't want my 4 year old daughter thinking about a baby coming out of her vag*** at this point in her life. My daughter knows that her baby brother is coming out soon, but only knows about C-sections. I actually know someone who was affected negatively and became obsessive after learning about this at a young age. I have been reading on babycenter where mothers think it is ok to just talk about it all in detail and how it is better to let kids know about these things and will even let their young child watch them give birth. I completely disagree! Some just things need to wait until kids are older! You certainly cannot avoid the topic, but just don't need to expose them to too much at such a young age. What do you all think?

Answer 1

There is a fine line between not enough information and too much information for a child that age. Only the parent can judge when to give details and how detailed to be. I agree that it seems to be inappropriate to allow a child to watch their mother give birth (heck that scares the crap out of grown men) but shielding a child completely can back fire also. As your child asks questions assess how much information they are actually looking for and how much you think they can digest and answer them truthfully. If you feed them bits of true and correct information as they grow up then there is never a huge surprise when time for "the talk" comes. It is just something they grew up knowing about. It also helps keep open lines of communication that are very helpful as they become teen agers.

Answer 2

The only way it can affect her negatively is if it is treated negatively.
My 6 year old knows that babies come out through vaginas. She also knows what periods are and that it can hurt. But she also knows that babies are very special, her body is beautiful, and that if she trusts her body she can do anything. Child birth is not talked about negatively in our house and she is answered honestly without horror when she asks a question. When I had her brother, she was four and I answered her questions then. I also think that if you are simple with the answers she will be satisfied. Example: Mommy, how will the baby get out of your tummy? (you answer very calm and a matter of fact, like it's no big deal) Babies are born through women's vagina's. Chances are that will be enough...but if she says...how mommy? Then you simply say that vaginas are made for giving birth. Also, I am curious as to why your daughter would think there is any other way besides c section if that's what she already knows.....If she doesn't ask for more details then it's perfectly acceptable to not give them. Being honest with few details is often enough for four year olds. Children who are damaged by detailed truth either didn't want to know all the information they were given, or it was given in such horrifyingly graffic detail that they were scared.

Answer 3

I think that the biggest thing to think about is your attitude. Whatever you tell your child, they'll get most of their information about *how* to think about it from how you feel when you're talking to them. I've always explained to my daughter that Mommies all have a special place in their tummies where babies can grow. She understands that the baby comes out through the birth canal. We use the vagina word whenever we talk about body parts (like make sure you wash your ...). She's had no problems with the information.

That said, if you are uncomfortable explaining something to your kid because you think he or she isn't ready for it, you're likely to be right. I have noticed that when I try to introduce a topic I'm uncomfortable with, she gets upset much more easily.

There is a Barenstains Bears book on the Birds and the Bees and one on The New Baby. Not that I think you should get parenting advice from bears, but they do make a good way to start a conversation.

Answer 4

I think whatever is comfortable for the mom will be be all right with the kid. So if you are uncomfortable with it then just tell your child that at the hospital the doctor will help mommy have the new baby and then she can come and see him there afterward. A four year old does not "need" to know all about this but some moms feel it is a learning experience.

Answer 5

Most important thing, don't lie to her. With kids it is best to keep things very basic. She knows there's a baby in there, and eventually it's gonna come out. I had this discussion with my oldest at 5. You're baby sister is in mommy's tummy. Mommy has to go to the doctor, and he will get her out. He asked if it would hurt, I said yes a little but they would give me meds for that. He never asked how would the doctor get the baby out. And I didn't see why I should offer more info than he wanted to know. Just told him mommy would be a lil sore when she got home and would need his help. If she wants more info just keep it very basic. If she doesn't ask, don't tell her till she's much much older... Good luck with the new baby and the inquisitive daughter.

Answer 6

A 4 year old is only a child - let her enjoy being a child. She does NOT need to know anything about child birth let alone watch it!
You do NOT expose children to this until they are mature enough to understand it (18 ).
The only thing she needs to know is; you have a baby in your tummy and one day you will go to the hospital and a doctor will take the baby out. That alone, will probably be too much information for her. What she's really looking forward to is when you bring the baby home - that's all she really cares about.

Answer 7

Children understand so much these days. Dont underestimate them. A child especially a girl should know about their body and what happens to it. Use Barbie dolls to explain where a baby comes from and how a baby is made. The only thing negative is sheltering your child.

Answer 8

I think that they should only know when they can fully understand the reasons why it is like that. If they cannot understand why it is so, then you are wasting your breath telling them about it. When they are mature enough to treat it like a beautiful instance of nature instead of filth, then it is time. But if someone does leak something out to your child, then you should talk to him/her to set the record straight so that the child doesnt get the wrong idea.

Answer 9

There's something to be said for telling them just the most basic and generalized truth and replying to questions beyond those answers with a simple, "I'll tell you some time when you're a little bigger." or "I'll tell you when we have a little more time to talk, but just not today."

Answer 10

4 years old is too young to handle the facts of life... Keep it simple until they are old enough to handle the truth....And then tell them everything they want to know... It's better for mom & dad to answer these questions than their peers...Raise them responsibly...