Why do i hate my mother so much ?

Question

I just don't understand why do i hate her so much?? she is so selfish and everything just about her. And when i hear her voice i just felt like mosquito bugging on my ear. When i was in Indonesia (i was teenage) she always compare me with the other kids she always abuse me by slap on my face and calling me bad name.. she called me whore and the most i hate she always compare me with the other kids she was never acept me like who iam. And NOW.. iam 28 years old i live in philadelphia, i have green card (except i dont get good job yet) and she still live with me... URGGGHH everyday like live in hell, she always want to know everything include what is inside my diary... i really hate her i wish she die soon. And now that she and my stupid father here.. they keep blame on me they said they sell everything because of me.. now that they cannot get granted assylum/ to get paper work. THEY MAD,UPSET, CRY..GOD I NEVER ASK THEM TO CAME TO THIS COUNTRY AND SOLD EVERYTHING THEY HAD.
help me.

They live with me, wherever i go they want to live with ME. I used to live in NY, I had a good job before..but then my husband get promotion to Philadelphia.so here iam.. I just don't understand why do i still hate her? i just cannot get over to that feeling? she used to threw me out from their house when i was in Indonesia, she used to abuse me, she used to made everything down about my self (so that was the reason i came here), but i was long time ago almost 15 years ago, why do i still hate her? i never talk about this before i just keep it inside i just feel better when somebody still listen to me.(at least respond to me) because couple hours ago before i wrote to this question i was blew-up i was so mad, we had fight argue i lost control i threw everything in front of me.
GOD,she just so annoying, she is so irritating. And my father is the most stupid person in this world, he never made his own decision he always ask me, but then when his/they got reject from Ins,THEY BLAME ON ME

the problem is everytime we try to talk i get so upset and mad, i try not to but i just get so angry... when i am at home i try not to talk with her so much.. i don't know why it is not easy to talk with her.. she just so selfish, when she said or ask something i must do it on the spot.. or she will keep barking.. like a dog. When she talk she always want me to listen to her, no matter what do i do at that time.. or no matter where.. sometime i just want to yell at her face "I have my own life stupid and i have my own problem, just don't irritating me all the time" but i didn't do that i just keep inside, until yesterday night i was so blew-up i was so angry.. esspecially when my father said they read my diary and they just blame me for the reason to came to this country. I NEVER ASK THEM TO MOVE HERE

Answer 1

Hi: wowow I I had that experience when I 12-13 years old. My mother was just like you are saying. she always compared me to my brothers, cousins, or anybody that was perfect on her eyes. she used to call me names and so many nasty words. I used to cry every night and I used to think that she was not my mother why she treated me like that. living with her was a total hell. but when I turn 14 yrs old. she sent me here to the u.s.a. even though I was here I always cried at night, I used to remember one night that she was so drunk and told me that she wished I was dead. I always remember that. I just kept all that frustration inside me, never told anyone. several years later she came and visited me here. I was so happy to see but something inside me wanted to tell her how I felt about her. it was not hate but something that I cannot explain. one night I started talking to her and we started a conversation, everything was fine, and then I started telling her all my feelings all the things that were inside me. how I felt. I asked her why she always compared me to others. why she treated me bad when I was younger. and I told her when she was drunk she told me she wish I was dead. and she said so what are you trying to say is that you hate me? and I said no I don't but I needed to tell you how I feel. she started crying and asked for my forgiveness. i forgave here. after that conversation I released everything that was inside me. I felt peace, happiness, things that never felt before. I think you should talk to your parents and let them know how you feel and after you talk to them you will think they are the best parents. live now and not hide in your soul how you feel because thats what is killing you and you will never know what your parents really mean to you. talk to them and free yourself, you will see all those things you are missing.

Answer 2

I use to feel the same way, maybe not this extream. All I can say is count your blessings! My mom went into the hospital with a common cold, and unfortunately never came home. She had fallen to the sickness within her body, and as she took her last breath it was my eyes she was looking into. So all I can say is when your mom calls and wants to "Butt In" just find a way to use your words. The power of phrases is amazing, just remember one day, unfortunately they will not be calling and asking these questions and you will die and just ask for 5 more minutes. What I would do for five minutes or the opportunity to have just one more conversation with her..... I would give it all... Just a few thoughts!

Answer 3

I can see why you dislike her but think of it this way how would you feel if you seen her laying in a casket? Would you still hate her?
You make your life the way it is. Your almost 30 years old and if you cannot stand up for yourself and live on your own then i guess you will be put up with how your life is now right on and on.

Answer 4

Free yourself from them. You only live once. And your life is wasting away with your horrible parents. I say you should move away one day- pay the rent for one more month after you're gone so that they can get situated somewhere else and never speak to them again. Get away from them, you deserve to live a happy life and not have to deal with horrible people for your entire existence. You will grow old without living your life if you don't do this. It will take SO MUCH bravery but you can do it. Get them out of your life once and for all. Imagine what it would be like without them...

Answer 5

You hold a grudge from the time they abused you as a child and now that you're all grown up they still abuse you. This should all end as soon as you get a job and move away from them. Who knows, maybe when you're not living with them and dealing with them every day you can learn to forgive them and not hate them anymore.

Answer 6

What happened in the past is just that, the past. You need to learn to forgive and forget and move on with life. You should be grateful that you have a relationship with your mother and that she is alive and well. I wish that my mother were still alive and would have lived to see me grow into adulthood.
Pray that God will you forgiveness in your heart towards your mother. Never wish death on her or anyone else. If your mother passed away without the two of you getting your issues resolved, you would never forgive yourself.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

Not to be sarcastic, but why don't you just throw them out of your house...you are almost thirty and they still live with you even though you are married which is really unhealthy especially since they are a pain in the butt.

Answer 8

You have been abused. Why has your husband not defended you? Why does HE LET THEM STAY WITH THE 2 OF YOU??
Is he a coward? Have HIM deal with this problem--it is HIS responsibility now!! I would never let ANYONE treat my wife badly! The two of you need to stand up for yourselves. Best of luck.

Answer 9

this occasion is terrible, i'm so sorry for you subject it extremely is going to be so difficult. What are you able to do, your strategies surely look very constrained. could desire to you go and stay with your grandmother? you're able to desire to discover some thank you to get out of there asap, that's an insufferable and hazardous subject for you, your undesirable pets and your "mum".

Answer 10

You don't have to ask why you hate them, its obvious in what you wrote. SOmetimes you get stuck with *** holes in life. Don't worry about it, its ok to hate people. Just relax and life will be good.