My son is 13.He is very outgoing and talkative at home and with a few select friends.His teachers all say he is very well behaved at school.He is very likable and he avoids conflict with other kids.My question is whenever we are out in the public and he sees one of his schoolmates and they speak to him he avoids them.He will look away from them like he is shy are he just does not want to be noticed by them.I dont know what is going on as I know he is a friendly guy.
2007-01-21 17:59:52 · 12 answers · asked by ♥ liz ♥ 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Social behavior with strangers is pretty much a learned behaviour. Im sure that in your sons mind and heart, he really wanted to acknowledge the greeter but he was tonguetied and paralyzed with the fear of being stared at by other people in public. It is a very funny ( to others) fear, but to him it imeans a lot.
Bring him to the mall or the bowling alley or to church ,community center ,library with you, and arrange for a relative, or family friend to show up there, one or two who would call out his name across the hall and just say "hi". He might wave a bit only at first, but his fear of being embarrassed in public will eventually go away incrementally, with bits of positive experiences with people he is comfortable with.
Go out with them and have an ice cream , cofffee, snacks. Litltle by little his shyness will go away and then you will have a very extroverted kid problem when he turns 18. LOL
2007-01-21 18:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're not the "few select friends" and are just classmates I'm thinking he's probably shy and maybe embarrassed to be seen with his parent(s).
Most kids that age don't particularly want to be seen with their parents, but some kids are less visably bothered by it than other kids are.
Also, he's 13. He may be friendly but he can also be awkward or shy in spite of that. If he meets kids and isn't prepared it may throw him off and make responding appropriately difficult for him.
2007-01-22 02:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was like that too and he was only 5 when I noticed it. He is now almost 8 and still doesn't show as much enthusiasm as his classmates do when they see him. I would always say to him 'they are greeting you, say something'. I just wish he could shout like the other kids do. I dont have definite answers but I'm sure he'll grow out of it.
2007-01-22 02:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to do the same thing now i literally dont have any friends. He could feel unworthy of having friends, like hes not good enough to have them. I to also did great at school, all my teachers loved me, and i had not a lot of friends but enough. after losing all my friends because of feeling unworthy my school work went down the drain, then i felt even more unworthy. he could need to see a counselor, it could be deeper than you know. Or he could just shy in public.
2007-01-22 02:05:30 · answer #4 · answered by melinda_trvn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he could be shy about mixing family and school.. maybe he is different in different places. The friends bring out one side of him and the family anohter and he doesn't know how to mix the two? I know taht I can be quiet and calm, or I can be outgoing, joking and energetic.. it depends what the people around me are like.. I am both extrovert and introvert.. very well balanced
2007-01-22 02:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is embarrased by you. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with you, but kids that age are embarrased by their parents around their friends. They are afraid they will not be considered "cool."
An example: You are out with you son and the both of you run into his friends. Then your son decides to go for a movie with your friends and you say " Son, don't stay out too late" or " Son, make sure you eat well and not eat junk food." There is nothing wrong with what you said but your son will have to bear jibes from his friends such as "ooo mamma's boy" or "hey, you need to ask your mom's permission for a movie.."
It is natural at that age for kids to feel this way. You need to make sure your son understands this.
2007-01-22 02:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by harsh_bkk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not rehearse with him how to act when he sees friends down the street. Go through it many times with him till he is comfortable. I trust you have asked him why he does this. Are these kids his friends? Perhaps he is being bullied by many and these are the kids he is seeing. Have a good talk to him
2007-01-22 02:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS SOME ONE PICKING ON HIM AND WHEN HE SEES THAT PERSON HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM AND SIT DOWN AND ASK HIM DO NOT JUMP DOWN HIS THROAT LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY THERE MIGHT BE REALLY BAD PROBLEMS YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT GOING ON AT HIS SCHOOL AND HE IS KEEPING THEM FROM YOU AND DOES NOT WANT YOU TAKING UP FOR HIM SO NO ONES SAYS LOOK AT MOMMY'S BABY OK GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE
2007-01-22 02:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound mean but it might be cause he is with one of his parents and does not want his friends to see that he is with them.
2007-01-22 03:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's at the age where when he is with his parents, he would rather not have his friends see him.
2007-01-22 08:57:49 · answer #10 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋