Ashamed after losing virginity...prefer Christian answers only!?

Question

I need answers from Christians since I'm a Christian. I lost my virginity over 2 months ago and I still can't help but feel guilty and ashamed. I'm not with my bf anymore. I promised I would wait until marriage, but obviously broke that promise. I think about this every day and I promise to wait again. What should I do to stop feeling this way. I need advice! Thanks.

Answer 1

You have to know that after you've confessed a sin to God, you are forgiven by Him. You have to forgive yourself and your ex-boyfriend, too.

Did you do wrong? Yes.

Are you likely to mess up again? Yes.

Does God love you anyway? Yes.

This is why the righteousness of Jesus is imputed to us in place of our own, so that the relationship between us and God can be restored. And on that basis you can live without obsessing over the feelings of shame, and start healing from it. When you get another boyfriend, take steps to avoid repeats, like making sure the two of you stay accountable to people who understand and will look out for you. Oh, and don't date guys who don't share your committment to waiting.

Answer 2

You feel guilty and ashamed because once virginity is lost, there is no undoing the act. It's gone forever.

I imagine you feel guilty because the guy make promises such as he'll love you forever, he has a lot of respect for you, etc.

Unfortunately, you're only another mark in his "black book" of conquests.

Some people do keep score of "virgin busters."

Get some counseling to assist with your grief; speak with clergymen or Pastors.

Friends are not recommended, since you get only their prejudiced viewpoints. You need someone neutral to give the best counseling.

It'll take time, but your pain will ease. Learn from the experience.

If a boy/man tells you something, just remember, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't."

Answer 3

Pray and ask God for forgiveness. A sheep that wanders and comes back is never turned away again.. Of course you'll be forgiven. But you're also going to have to deal with the earlthy consequences. You're going to have to tell the person who you marry, that hopefully will also be christian, that you made a mistake long ago, and tell them you prayed for forgiveness, and have been clean (or not =/ ) ever since. You can see how much straying from Gods path hurts, remember how it feels and apply that pain to other aspects of your life where your morals come into question. I'll pray for you as well, that you feel better. Hang in there. God loves you very very much. <3

Answer 4

I think you should pray and confess your sin. GOD would forgive you, because you've learned your mistake. From now on, think positive, dont be feeling guilty anymore. Everybody makes mistake. Right?, The most important thing now is that you know what you have done is wrong and you are sorry for it. You still have a long time to make up from your mistake, give it another try and move on with your new life.

Answer 5

When we come before Him with our bleeding hearts He is always there to heal and bandage us and nurse us back to the spiritual health he has availed to us. As a human being u have weaknesses and god knows this. While He does not condone sin at all, He knows that just like a newborn child your steps are slow and unsure when u learn to walk(in His way) and when with your unsteady step you fall, dirty and hurt yourself, He puts out His hand, to hold you up and say ta..ta my child. stand and walk again. U have to decide to reach out to that hand and hold on because it is the only steady thing u know can carry u through.

His mercies are new every morning and His Grace abounds.....but should we continue to sin. The bible says no we shouldnt. But embrace His forgiveness and march on soldier. A sure sign of this will be by forgiving yourself. Dont refuse His offer of Forgiveness and dont allow the devil to keep on reminding u of that small hiccup. U are stronger than that.

Answer 6

The most important thing here is that you weren't true to your own values and morals and that's why you feel guilty. In the grand scheme of things you have not done anything so terrible that it could be considered "unforgiveable" even for a moment. Please don't forget that you are only human. Forgive yourself and move on trying your best to lead the life you want to lead. You deserve the best for yourself - treat yourself with respect: your body as well as your mind. Don't beat your self up over something that is done.

Answer 7

For starters, don't let anyone judge you, you've done a pretty good job at judging yourself. Everyone does things against their better judgment from time to time and makes mistakes, and Christians are not immune to that. That is part of growing and learning. Forgive yourself, then ask for God's forgiveness and just put it out of your mind and move on. Hope this helps Pen (yeah I'm a Christian too).

Answer 8

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you didn't wait, but you must forgive yourself. If you asked God to forgive you, then he already has. Don't beat yourself up about it. Also, satan will try to torment you with your mistakes too. Don't listen to that.

I am a mom of 3 girls and a Pastors wife, so I know what I'm talking about.

Remember that no sin is bigger than another, and you have not done anything that is any worse that the rest of us.

Actually, I didn't wait, my oldest daughter didn't wait, and you . . . know what . . . we love her just as much as we always have.

You're going to be alright, every time you think about it, just say a little prayer thanking God for His grace, forgiveness, and unending love.

Answer 9

Just remember that we all make mistakes and that you have made one. If we were perfect, Christ wouldn't have had to die for us but we are not and so we make mistakes. Accept that you did, and perhaps make sure you know why, whether a mood or a situation, and try to avoid getting into that position again. if perhaps you got into the relationship because of lack of self esteem, work on that and don't worry about what has passed. It is like water in a river, what you have touched and not be touched again.

Answer 10

As a Christian, all you have to do is repent and ask for forgiveness. After that God forgives you. The hard thing to do as humans is to let go of our guilt. We remember all the sins that we have committed over the years, but God says that once he forgives us (by us repenting and asking for it) it's just like it never happened in the first place.