If (the Christian) God is supposed to be so full of love and forgiveness ...?

Question

Then why are his followers generally hateful and judgemental?

You guys are getting the wrong impression. I consider myself a Christian. I attend church. However, it has been becoming very clear to me that many other followers tend to be judgemental and unforgiving. For example, I had a baby two weeks ago, I'm not married ... I brought the baby to church this morning, and several of the women actually asked the pastor if they could ask me to leave, because I was obviously not living for Christ. All I hear about is how gay people are going to hell ... unwed mothers are going to hell ... people who have abortions are going to hell. What ever happened to trying to share the love of Christ with others instead of automatically condemning them? I'm not biased, I just want to understand what makes other people of supposedly the same beliefs as me act a certain way.

Well, good for most of you. I posted this question as a confused believer, needing advice about my doubts that have been planted by the actions of the Christians I see around me. I'm not trying to judge them ... I'm not judging them as being hateful when they say "I hate ...", I'm not judging them as being unforgiving when they say " ... will go to hell". I'm simply repeating not only their actions, but their WORDS. Instead of offering advice or suggestions, most of you cut me down in the same judgemental tone that I've become accustomed to. Perhaps my wording wasn't entirely proper, but does that give you the right to make assumptions about me and criticize me? I don't think so. Thanks to all of you who have proven my point so wonderfully.

Answer 1

First of all congratulations on your new baby. Every one who calls him or herself a Christian has to give grace to others. Not one of those Christians that treated you badly at your church is beyond doing something that is wrong. You obviously know that sex outside of marriage was wrong- however you did not compound that by getting an abortion- and even if you did- that is not beyond the forgiveness of Christ. Like Jesus said to the woman who was going to be stoned- "woman, where is your accusers, go and sin no more". Done with pure grace- not in a judgmental way. Remember that those same people who treated you badly, need forgiveness too. They do not know what they do. I will be praying that you find someone in your church that will support you and your new baby. God loves you!!

Answer 2

To answer your question. We must first consider what is a Christian. Let us put it in simple terms and say that a Christian = a follower of Christ. Now we must find out what Christ was or what he represented. Christ represented the Love of God to mankind. Love is patient, Love is Kind, Slow to anger, etc. But you must first remember that Christ came to minister to the broken, ill, poor, physically and spiritually. This included his disciples who were yet Christ like. But still Christians, since they followed Christ. But consider this, "And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat". Matthew 14:15,16. If I am correct, even though they were Christians, they were still human in their thinking. Weak hearts, weak minds. Therefore My conclusion is that a Christian is just a name for someone who is on the path to becoming Christlike in nature. Some start and get stuck on the road, some go back and forth and can't decide if they want to continue, and some actually make it. The minority is the last. So if you meet someone who professess to be a Christian and is hateful and judgemental, then yes, he is a christian, but is still on that road and needs guidance or help just like you and me.

Answer 3

The followers of God are generally Judgmental because of the flawed beliefs of the traditional Christian religion about what a Christian should be. In church we are taught that if we do 'right' and follow the commandments we will be closer to God and will gain eternal life. As human beings it is impossible to do this, so when we fail at it, we look to see who else is failing and we become judgmental. What Christ actually taught, was that we should seek him first, meaning gain a relationship with him first, and he will help us stay away from the things that are not 'right' for us.

Answer 4

True christians are not 'hateful'. As far as 'judgemental', that depends on how you define the word. A lot of people don't believe really believe that anything is wrong. The only thing that is wrong to them is to call something wrong. Oh, they will say that killing is wrong but many of them believe it's allright to kill a baby. They just call it 'a womans choice'. The truth is that if there is no God there is no right or wrong. There's no ultimate standard. Right and wrong is just what the culture defines it to be and ultimately what the individual defines it to be. Our culture says you should love your enemy. Cultures down in the amazon say you should eat your enemy. Cultural anthropologists in every major university in the western world will tell you that our culture is no better than theirs. Anybody who criticizes any action is called 'judgemental'.
Bill O'reilly wrote a book called the 'culture warriors'. It's about a culture war going on in this country between secular people and religious people. O'reilly is not a religious fanatic. Although he believes the bible is a good book, he certainly does not believe it is inspired by God. But when he was researching the book he said that the thing that really shocked him was the 'hatred' on the side of the secular people. I've experienced that right here on this yahoo answers forum. I've been called idiot, moron, brain dead, a 12 year old child and everything else under the sun. Christians generally don't use those terms. So don't tell me how 'hateful' christians are. Christians aren't perfect but most of the real 'hatred' is on the other side. I've heard statements right here on this forum that said that all christians should be rounded up and put in prison.
As a christian, I believe that there is an ultimate standard of right and wrong and it's given in the bible and when you see wrong you should call a spade a spade. All true christians believe that. Do you think it's WRONG to believe that? If you don't, then why are you calling christians 'judgemental'? If you do think it's wrong, then why are you judging us? Your viewpoint that it's wrong to have an ultimate standard based on the bible and to determine right and wrong accordingly is itself a moral viewpoint.
It's your own personal moral viewpoint. When you call christians 'hateful' and 'judgemental', thereby putting pressure on them to shut up, are you not trying to force your morality on us? Is that, in itself, not being 'judgemental'? Isn't that what this generations definition of tolerance means, namely, that all viewpoints have just as much truth value as all other viewpoints, therefore no one should not judge anyones viewpoint. Or does todays definition of Tolerance really mean that we believe you should have freedom of thought and of speech as long as you are thinking and speaking what we want you to think and speak and if you don't follow our rules, we're going to call you names like 'hateful' and 'judgemental'.

Answer 5

The root cause of hateful and judgmental christians is a theology associated particularly with Anselm and Calvin.

Human beings are wicked and can only make it to heaven if they are punished for their sin, thus righting the scales of justice and wiping clean the slate. The problem is, human wickedness is so deep that the required punishment would be too much for us to bear. So Christ offers to take our place, accepting our punishment in the form of an excruciating crucifixion. It's the story of salvation, as read by the religious right. All sin must be paid for with pain.

It is, among other things, the reason so many conservative Christians support the death penalty - wickedness must be paid for with blood. And it's precisely this equation that has come to rot the Christian moral conscience from within. For this theology is intrinsically vindictive, bloodthirsty and vengeful. Though many evangelicals and conservative Catholics think it the beating heart of the good news, it's a much later medieval interpretation that refuses the gospel's insistence upon forgiveness and non-violence.

Punishment and hatred is coming to a church near you...

Answer 6

There is no IF, God is love & offers forgiveness to all. Look in the mirror, the person looking back is being generally hateful and judgemental. Generally, the very thing you fear and dislike, is within yourself. We with sin, can not cast the first stone.You receive within yourself, the measure in which you measure out. May Peace love & understanding guide you into ..... Truth

Christ came to save sinners & the lost. Christians are not perfect,just forgiven.

Answer 7

Sweety you need to find a better church. That church seems to be divided. But you must remember not to have any other children until you are married.

Unfortunately i do not know all the dynamics involved here, but i think you need to find a non-denominational church. The denominational churches generally tend to shy away from people when they make mistakes, believing that they are exempt from sin.

In choosing a new church rememer that God loves you. Look for that kind of love in the members of the church.

pm me on messenger sometime.... use this address [e-mail]

Answer 8

Do you know the name of God? Didn't think so. Instead of the Christian God being a visible easily definable and recognizable entity, the christian god is a faceless, nameless diety whose every feature is personally defined and interpreted by the mind and intellect of the whorshipper. Even though you may worship the Christian God. Your list of the dieties empathetic characteristics may be different from the greedy believer in the pew next to you.

The Greeks believed in many gods. Christians do too. However, there is only one god to each individual. The differences in each christians image of god is as unique as the pantheon of grecian times.

Why are they so judgemental? Their belief must be defined and accepted by their mind and heart. Everyone who could possibly attempt to destroy their view of church doctrine may destroy their image and ultimately the foundation of their belief.

God is supposed to be inside each of us. Well, inside each of us is a petty petulant child. Blind belief and irrationally flawed self justified petulance is the reason we are hateful and judgemental. Belief in God does not change the nature of the man. Only his actions can change, the inner demons will always be there regardless of the benign diety we worship.

Answer 9

God is full of love and forgiveness. I'm sorry you've had experiences with Christians who are hateful and judgemental. I can tell you that God is full of love and there is not greater thing. And I can tell you that all Christians are not like that, and the ones that are should be ashamed of themselves. And if anybody has judged you or anybody else for the things you do, they were wrong to do that. According to the Bible, everyone has sinned and deserves to be separted from God. That's why it was necessary for Jesus to come to the Earth and live a sinless life, and die for our sins. So no one has a right to judge you. Maybe to offer you constructive critism, but not to judge you. God bless.

Answer 10

This is an excellent question! I believe that it's because they don't like to practice what is preached! I agree that so many of them are hateful and judgemental. By and far, the largest reason for the judgementalism is that they choose which parts of the Holy Scriptures to follow, and then judge those who don't follow the same. The Bible teaches that God is the only one who can judge, and that you should love your neighbor, but so many people today read that as, "I am the only one who can judge those who think they're unfalliable, and you should only love your neighbor unless he's (fill in the blank - anything from another religion, to gay, to working strange hours!)." That is by far the biggest problem - selective following of the Scripture.