Okay Ive been dating this guy I love for 6 years and we have broke up several times because I want to get married and he always basically says later and I feel mad so we break up.I was raised that marriage is what people who love each other do andhe was too but his parents have a lousy marriage.I asked him the other day if he loved me and he said yes but he was in no rush for the altar.Im fed up.We do not live together and every sunday evening when its time for me to go home I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach like Im just so tired of this.I want a married life.Neither one of us want children and we laugh so hard when were together but I cant change who I am,Is it possible he does love me?How do I walk away without all the pain .I dont want to hurt him .I love him but he is killing me.This person ive become for him throwing away my own goals so I can hang out for what?My goal is school and to get married.I dont want it with him anymore because I feel so rejected.Im 34 he is 40
2007-01-21 17:24:48 · 11 answers · asked by butterflyspy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please, walk away.
There is nothing wrong for you to desire marriage because it is a good thing.
If he doesn't want it then you need to walk away. Or else you will be throwing away your dreams for his fears.
The fact that his parent's marriage didn't work doesn't mean yours with him won't. If he is thinking that then you are better off without him.
I know six years is long, but if you have broken up several times because of this issue then my guess is you are the one that keeps making up with him to give him a chance.
You can talk to his parents about it so that they can advice him or get someone he looks up to...to talk to him.
But if he doesn't change his stands then definately back off because he is not going where you want too.
And you know my wrost fear for you...is that he will wake up a few years from now and find another woman and says he wants to marry her rather then you...
Please, be careful and value your dreams more then him.
2007-01-21 17:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give up on the question of whether he loves you or whether you love him, or whether you have a good time together, and ask yourself, "Does he want to get married?".
Don't get mad, but it sounds like he doesn't want to get married.
That isn't a rejection of you, it's a rejection of marriage.
I mean, have you ever wondered why a guy says, "I don't want to get married," when he doesn't want to get married?
It's because the guy doesn't want to get married.
So either move on, or accept that you might wait forever for him to have a change of heart regarding marriage. I think that would be cruel to the both of you, though.
You would be better off finding somebody who shares your outlook.
2007-01-22 01:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by John D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him dont be crazy and stay
this day and age every other marriage falls apart and he seen it with his parents
why is marriage so important that you are ready to walk off on the love of your life for some values that your parents have brainwashed you to have
you dont want any kids so what is the rush? give it time maybe move in together and try it that way
2007-01-22 01:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest with him, what you have said above is a good start,
I recommend you print out the above and give it to him, i have found that when you need to start a difficult conversation its easier to put pen to paper and let them read the letter in your presence rather than trying to put the initial words together verbally, this usually kicks off a meaning full conversation without having the difficult opening speech which may come out wrong and just make a mess of the situation.
good luck
2007-01-22 02:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to get mad if he wont marry you.
Clearly your man plans to leave you for a more attractive woman when one comes along, whom he will immediately marry.
In no way are you an insecure person who will let nothing stand in the way of her obsession with acquiring the social status of a married woman.
2007-01-22 01:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by Pastor Sauce 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm i think that if he wanted to marry you he would have already. His parents having a lousy marriage is no excuse...I've heard of alot of people whose parents have lousy marriages or were lousy parents, therefore they dont want that in their lives and want to be better than they were. So I feel that If he wanted it he would have done it a while ago...
hes not worth your time...dump him
2007-01-22 01:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by mayra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had a 100% open conversation about this? Tell him exactly how you feel. Don't try and sugarcoat things, if he can't accept your feelings and wishes then your decision is made for you. He's not the guy for you.
2007-01-22 01:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by bendabomb85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your cards on the table and tell him this is what you expect. If he does not meet your demands then he is not worth it. He may just be scared or wants to be single forever.
2007-01-22 01:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Doofus B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no light at the end of the tunnel for you if he is 40.
start over with someone else, sadly.
2007-01-22 01:28:57 · answer #9 · answered by Cookie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is sooo short, you need to pursue what you want, be honest with him and according to his response you need act in your best interest.
2007-01-22 01:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by blackberry j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋