I was reading in a magazine that a woman's step-daughter was getting married and the bride wanted a picture of just herself, her husband and her mom and dad. The step-mother got very upset and said that the bride's parents were no longer married and she didn't want that picture to be taken. She wanted to be in the picture with her husband and wanted the bride's mother to be in a seperate picture.
This just made me upset because even if the bride's parents are no longer married and they are both remarried they are still her mother and father and I think she should be entilted to a picture with her parents without worring about hurting anyone's feelings or listening to what her bossy step-mother thinks.
What do you think?
2007-01-21 17:22:10 · 11 answers · asked by dalbana5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Absolutely. You are the one to have the wedding album the rest of your life. You are the one to live with the regret if you do not do it. As a professional photographer, I deal with this more and more. I say that the large majority of brides DO take pictures with their biological parents, if they both show up. I have seen some doozies in my life, but never as bad as the scorned step-mother. For some reason, it always seems like the step-mother gets more emotionally charged in a situation such as this. Do what you want to do, bottom line. Your step-mom will get over it, but you will always remember the opportunity you did not take when you put up those prints in the house and are missing the one you can never get back.
2007-01-21 17:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by n5dav 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A wedding does impose a responsibility on the bride and groom to ensure no one they invited is then made to feel neglected. Take a deep breath and another minute for another shot. Some diplomacy is needed in an instance such as you describe, and even though such things can seem (and frequently are) petty, they are human.
Time for a picture each way or one that includes everyone. One to make one side of the issue happy and another for the other side. If that is not good enough for the new wife, it's time to tell her that it is not about her marriage, it is about the bride's wedding. She was dad's decision, not the bride's, and the bride wants a picture with her actual parents but would love to have another one that honored marriages instead of lineages. The bride can then toss the extra pic when step-mom is not around.
Under it all, including what I said and believe about making an invitation imposing a duty, I still believe a wedding is about the bride and it is her day -- if step-mom is so self-absorbed to realize that, just take solace in the fact that she is not likely to be your step-mom for long -- who would keep her?
Regards
2007-01-21 18:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Poetic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see the bride wanting a photo of just her mom and dad. But I would think that there should have been photos of the bride and groom, her dad and stepmother,etc, etc.
Perhaps this bride was being spiteful to her stepmother and never had any photos taken with her.
My husband's daughter will be getting married at the end of the year and I honestly could care less if I am involved in any of the wedding photos.
2007-01-21 17:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Shanan D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the bride should have taken a picture with her biological parents and then a separate pic with her step mom and dad. Even if she didn't purchase the pic from the photographer. I would take both just to keep the peace.
2007-01-21 18:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by kamsmom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't want any pics of the parents or families because everyone is divorced and there is a remarriage. I didn't want the pictures and I knew no one else would either. In this time and age everyone has a digital camera and if they requested one it would be fine. I told this to my photographer and one my wedding day my photographer disappeared my mother in law had grabbed her for family photos I was upstairs with my daughter and the wedding party waiting to be let into the room we were getting pics in .The spouses of the wedding party were also there as the gift we gave was pics of the wedding attendants with their families. I was fuming when I found out where the photographer was my husband knows how mad I am about this because there are no pics of my family and I have to pay for his family pics and the pics are missing me and our daughter (his biological daughter) but, our son is in them. There were no pics taken with us and our children because by the time they came upstairs our son wouldn't calm down he needed his nap. So now I have these pics that no one wants because his biological mom got into pics with his biological dad and I don't want them because my daughter and I are missing. Plus the fact that my family respected our wishes and I have none of them. But, I still have to pay for them so I'm wrapping them up and giving them to his parents for Christmas and that is all they are getting the proofs. So yes write out a list put a I will not pay you if you breach the restraints of this contract and take pictures that are not listed without the bride AND grooms approval clause!I don't know how legal this will be but, it will give your photographer the right to send the people to YOU to ask for permission
2007-01-21 17:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think you ARE right and that is why it is important to make these things clear BEFORE the wedding so that at the wedding, all parties know what is expected. That being said, a compromise is a good idea - do both the photo with mom and dad, and photos seperately with step parents as well.
2007-01-22 00:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a step-mother. At my step-daughter's wedding, it was I who suggested to the photographer to take a photo with the bride and her parents, without me. OF COURSE it should be this way. That step-mother who behaved otherwise is extremely immature, classless, and selfish. Don't worry; I doubt that very many full-grown adults would behave in such a ridiculous manner. You are entitled to as many pics with your parents as you want. Take a few with your step-parent, though, just to be nice.
2007-01-21 17:39:13 · answer #7 · answered by F 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if your photographer is any good he/she will have you make a list of the photos that you want taken in addition to the others, so he makes sure it isnt missed. He should bring it to the reception and check off as he takes them.
As for that Step mom, jealous much? She is probably so insecure she cant see straight.
2007-01-22 01:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right.
My parents were divorced at my wedding and my mother was with her b/f of ten years at the time but I only allowed my parents to be photographed together, not my mother's spouse and her.
2007-01-21 20:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The stepmother is a selfish little girl.
2007-01-21 17:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋