how bad does it hurt the first time you have sex? itll be my first and i was wondering if there was a way for it to not hurt so bad. ive been told thats its awful your first time.. but i want it to be special.. not painful. are there ways to make it better. i grew up in a very sheltered and restricted catholic family... and i dont know much. i know i want to do this.... and i will be using protection so please dont lecture me about that.
2007-01-21 17:19:01 · 21 answers · asked by BETH 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes, its good to use protection. But the only way you can do to avoid the pain is not to do it, stay a virgin.. Save it for marriage.
2007-01-21 17:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rain L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first time was barely painful at all, in fact it was really nice. Here's why: I completely loved and trusted my boyfriend so I was relaxed, and because we used lubricant. Lubricant is VERY important, it really reduces the pain and even makes it pleasurable. Foreplay is also important, you have to be excited and ready for sex or it will hurt more. You can get a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly from the supermarket or chemist for less than $10 and it will last a while. It is kind of embarrassing to buy but definitely worth it. Good luck, relax and enjoy!! And of course use protection : )
2007-01-22 01:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not want this to sound bad, but I will be blunt, If you are actually verry actracted to the boy "hopfully it is a boy your age" then you need to make sure that you feel comftorble with him naked, you should probably play arround a couple of times, and let him know that it is going to take a couple of times for the two of you to get fimilliar with each other so he will be patient and not frustated, then the third or fourth time you are naked together, wait untill you want him so bad that you are very "hot N wet" down there. If you do this you will be fine, it will not hurt much at all, and probably not at all. If you are not hot and wet then you are not ready and if you try it will hurt very much, Just take your time if the boy does not want to wait for you to get ready then he does not deserve to be with you at all, do not do this for any one but you, wait untill you are ready, be patient do not rush and you will be fine! I think you should wait as long as you need to be comftorable.
But understand that the older you are the more your body will be ready for this experience the first time and the more you will be ready mentally for this experience, and the more beautiful it will be. If you make this just about sex then it is going to hurt.
If you do this every time then it will never hurt, and your life will be much more enjoyable. I am glad that you are going to be careful, I am not sure that you should be having sex yet, but I am glad that you did think enough to ask for advice, be carefull and I hope you are in love with each other, that helps to. Good luck!!!
2007-01-22 02:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by shandar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you should wait till marriage, im pretty sure 90% of the ppl u will ask would tell u to wait aswell, its not all its cracked up to be and it will cause u more heartache.
Well if u still insist on doing the deed, its great that ur using protection. I would deff make sure he is a very special person in your heart and tell him you want it to be romantic and special. To avoid most of the pain during ur first time make sure he goes down on you and tons and tons of foreplay then get a good lube and put alot of it on u and on him over the condom. Lube can be baught at sex shops or more common lubes like KY Jelly can be baught at almost any drug store or grocery store.
good luck making your decision and have fun! stay safe, and be sure hes the one you want to remember for the rest of your life!
2007-01-22 01:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by Angelina A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your first time hurts that badly, someone did something wrong. Granted, it will be a little painful and you will be sore the next day. Most likely you will not climax either- But as long as your partner is gentle and moves slowly, allowing you to be physically(moist/wet) ready for him, it should be ok. Try using a condom with Lubrication-Spermicidal and try some KY, that could help with any dry patches. Good luck and be safe.
2007-01-22 01:26:40 · answer #5 · answered by And baby makes 4! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no answer for this one as it will be more or less painful for each person and the paid threshold is different for each one of us. I suggest you should masturbate a few times before having sex for the first time, this will give you an idea of how much pain you might experience and help resizing the hymen. You will also receive a massive amount of pleasure which will overcome any discomfort you may experience during your first sexual event. It will also depend on the man as he can be gentle if he understands your a virgin.
2007-01-22 01:33:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It differs for everyone and it mostly depends on the state of your hymen.
There's a really good article about what to expect your first time here: http://www.clitical.com/sex-tutorials/first-time-sex.php
And from my experience, the discomfort was easier to bear if you relax completely (or as completely as you can) for that first penetration, if you're physically 'ready' from extensive foreplay and possibly an orgasm and if you stay calm.
Depending on your tolerance for pain, you might want to consider whether you want the initial penetration to be slow and gradual (good for adjusting to the new sensation and relaxing your muscles), or whether you want your partner to penetrate you quickly so that it's all over sooner.
It sounds as if you're sure your ready, so my final advice is to take it as slowly as you have to and to stay within your comfort zone. Hopefully, the lucky guy loves you and will be controlled enough not to push you past your limit, but remember that you're granting him a special priviledge and that he answers to you.
2007-01-22 01:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by deplorable_world 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my dear, the last thing you want to worry about is pain when its your first time, but i suppose its just something thats going to be on your mind. Pardon me if im going to be flat out blunt here:
foreplay...foreplay is really really going to help with the pain. I know you two will probably want to get to it, but just take your time, make sure there is some lubrocation, and take it slow. Yeah, its gonna hurt, but probably not as bad as youve heard. I hope this helps.
goodluck!
2007-01-22 01:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by Leeloo Ophelia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry so much. Nature made sure it will be ok. Everything will fit just fine. You won't hear bells or see fireworks the first time but give it awhile and it will be like ice cream. Always want some more.
2007-01-22 01:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be "making love" not just having sex. And you should be in love when it happens. If the guy loves you he will be gentle and if you love him you will be passionate and ready. It should be a gradual thing and it only hurts if the guy doesn't care or if he doesn't know what he's doing. It was never bad for me.
2007-01-22 01:26:37 · answer #10 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The physical pain is nothing to the emotional damage caused by adultery or fornication.
I suggest you get married to somenone who feels the same way as, uhh, I do! Hopefully you feel the same way about waiting till marriage to experience "it".
Think about it. When you get married you don't have to have sex on your wedding nite. Most girls are too nervous. You have all the time now to build it up to when you want to consumate it with your new husband. Take all the time in the world. The time between that and doing it will only TITILLATE you and your husband in anticipation. The experience now will certainly be far better than committing forincation.
You'll be blessed for it!
2007-01-22 01:28:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋