I have been in a relationship with my partner for the past 5 years, we have had many ups and downs, generally we are ok, however my family doesnt like him, they hardly speak to me because i am with him, and say hurtful things, my family arent well off, but we work hard and are comfortable and are buying a house and starting a family, and i dont understand why they dont like him as he looks after me and things are good, mabye its because we have a few fights here and there but who doesnt, but i am treated like the dirt beneath their feet, while my brother who is in serious trouble and looking at a jail term and is on parole for serious crimes. is treated like a god in my parents house, and they support him, my parents let my siblings smoke drink and all of them have tatoos and they are all under 18, I am always there for them, i help them all and also show up to all my brothers court appearances and drive him around, as i do for my other siblings. why do they treat me like this?
2007-01-21 16:38:09 · 10 answers · asked by crystal_land 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you the oldest child? The family might treat bad because you removed yourself from the dysfunctional surrounding and can see it for what it is. They might be looking at you like an outsider.
It sounds as if you shared the burden of parenting the younger siblings. Now that you are trying to start a household of your own you are causing resentment because you might be less available to help out as much as you have.
You do have the right to live your own life the way that you chose to. Your family should be happy for you....if you are being fully honest about the degree of "fights" you are having with your partner.
2007-01-21 16:53:25 · answer #1 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may just be my personal opinion; but my belief is that your parents are jealous of you. You may think that's crazy but from my own personal situations and others ...that is the most obvious conclusion. My dad has never wanted me to have something better than him. For example; I own a jeep grand cherokee limited and my father has always complained about me owning it. I know it's not because he's afraid that I wont be able to pay for it because I paid it off a long time ago. Some may think that sounds stupid but I have seen other family situations where the parent is jealous of the child. Seeing a child doing or having something better than them makes the parent feel like a failure. Being a mother myself...there are many things my son can do better than me...and I just absolutely LOVE it...it makes me feel like i still had a perfect child even w/ some of the screwed up genes me and his father gave him.
2007-01-21 17:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by shaylea29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can think of is that you are obviously the smart child. The child that showed the most potential growing up. And they had higher expectations for you than what you have ended up with. They probably want to see you married to a good man that totally respects you and also respects them.
There are some words here I noticed you said .... "he looks after me" and you admit you have fights. Well, I'm just wondering if you are "settling" for less than you deserve. You are not a pet that needs looking after. If you are happy, then fine. You know what you want. I was just trying to explain possible reasons for their behavior towards you and your partner. Maybe in time, they will learn to accept him. A lot depends on how he treats you long-term and how he acts towards them.
2007-01-21 16:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you allow them to treat you that way! No one can treat you badly unless you let them. Put your foot down and tell them your not going to put up with it any more, that you love them and want a good relationship with them instead of this and that "this" is no longer acceptable. Then FOLLOW THROUGH! You'll either end up severing your relationship with them or repairing your relationship with them Both things have their draw backs and advantages, just be prepared to accept which ever way it goes. Obviously your not happy with the way things are so any change has got to be an improvement.
2007-01-22 09:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by melanie_b67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like it's an issue your family has to deal with, not you. It would probably be hard but if he does love you and you two are happy, kind of avoid contact with those who are causing the problems "and thats not easy" I have been there. give them time to think over their choices let them come to you!
Enjoy your life and remember if they don't want to participate in a positive way....drama wise ya prob better off without it...be happy thats what matters!
2007-01-21 16:45:43 · answer #5 · answered by snickers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you let them you can only be a door mat if you lay down and let people walk all over you.You have and live in your own home. keep your nose out of your parents house and contents. and you will be much happier, if you go over there you are just opening a door for them to abuse you. STAY AWAY
2007-01-21 17:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They treat you like this because you take it. You take it and keep coming back.
Your parents are nice to your loser siblings, because your loser siblings don't threaten your parents' self-image, but you apparently do.
Many sick families pick a scapegoat to abuse to deal with their stress. Don't let them do it to you. Stay away. Stop helping them as long as they treat you badly.
2007-01-21 16:44:11 · answer #7 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them whos boss take care of things yourself...you're old enough aren't you?
2007-01-21 17:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by Deanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe because they see that you are a great child and dont know how to react
2007-01-21 16:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by Waythere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're jealous of you.
2007-01-21 16:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋