What else can I do to keep my son from his abusive father?

Question

I have sole permanent custody of my 3 yr old son. His father is awarded visitation every other weekend. My son has told me and showed me how his father has touched his peepee and stuck his finger in his butt. 3 yr olds don't know that kind of thing so I know it happened. The DCFS case worker was convinced something happened to him but the case was closed because my son didn't want to talk about it for the video recording. Now, 4 months later, his father starts showing up again wanting visitation. The police were called and told me either I let him have my son or I go to jail and he gets him anyway. I still have my lawyer from the custody case since it's still an ongoing case but claims there's nothing he can do without hard evidence from DCFS. What else can I do? I have to send my son with this sick bastard because it seems no one cares enough to keep persuing it.

I did actually move in November without telling him. We still live in the same town. My truck even broke down so we've been using my father-in-law's car. That would make it even harder for him to find us. The only reason he did find us this soon was because my brother told his wife they were through and she told my son's father where we live out of spite. Could this be a soap opera or what?!?

Answer 1

WOW.
My nephews went thru this for Y E A R S before the visitations stopped. I am so sorry .

Call THAT case worker and tell her you need her help. DEMAND they RE OPEN the case based on her notes.
THE REAL REASON THE CASE WAS CLOSED is probably because the CASE WORKER missed her THIRTY day deadline to settle the issue. If SHE missed the due date for YOUR case then SHE would claim "unfounded" to cover her OWN @ss.
Call the SHERRIF office and tell them "I need youur help" Tell THEM what happened and ask for assistance.
Tell YOUR LAWYER that DUE to the suspicians and proof of what that man did that YOU demand SUPERvised visitation. Meaning that he can NOT see the boy alone.

IF that pig does get to see your son, let your child tell you what happened with OUT badgering him. If he claims abuse YOU HAVE TO CALL The COPS immediately and ,make a LEGAL report. THE very day it happens! Then take your child to the ER if he has any redness and make SURE they document their suspicions.
ALL of these things MUST be done in order to stop the visitation.

Answer 2

Everytime something happens with your son you need to document. I know right now you probably feel like no one cares, but even if there is nothing that the police can do at the time, they can and should at least document and then once you have a paper trail of everytime he has touched him or molested him, you can try and use that against him. Also try and find out if he has any pending charges on him involving other crimes against children. The court should be able to use that. Make sure that your son knows the difference between good touch and bad touch and when that dirty SOB touches him bad, he needs to be reassured that he can tell you and talk to you and the people that can help him. If he ever has to go in for another interview let him know that these people are there to help him and to keep his dad away from him, that they're only trying to help and then maybe he'll open up to them. But always, always tell him that he can tell you anything and that you need to know when he's being violated so that you can help put a stop to it. I am so sorry about your situation. Don't give up, just keep on the police, the courts and eventually someone will do something.

Answer 3

This question makes me so mad!!! I want this guy to be totally stripped of any visitation privledges. How sick is he!!!??? DO NOT GIVE UP. Pester the hell out of anyone and erveryone you can. Let them see how consistant you are in proving how sick this man really is. This is your son, your baby. Did you talk to his father about what your child has said to you? Call the DCFS case worker and talk more to him/her about this sexual abuse. You could slap him with child abuse and sue his a**! He deserves every bad thing he could get for touching a child this way. Call your states legal sevices, explain whats going on, get a new lawyer, you MUST get this poor excuse of a man away from your son!YOU care enough to persue it right? Ask for you and your son to be in one of those rooms with a 2 way mirror, where you could talk to him about "what daddy does to me..." and the investigators will hear. Request his father to take a lie dectector test! Keep going. Bug these people, 24/7, let them get mad, but you make sure to get your son safe. I will pray for you. Please let us know what happens. I have a little boy, if anyone ever touched him, they wouldn't be here anymore. I'm sure you feel the same way. So put him away.

Answer 4

Your son is young and you need to remind him that you are there for him. Abuse like this could cause a child to clam up and withhold feelings as they don' know how to deal with it. Perhaps that father told his son that he would hurt him if he told anyone about their secret. Assure your child that when he is ready to talk, the sooner the abuse will stop. Proper authorities will get involved but keep letting your son know that they can only help if he helps them with their case.
You also have to be very careful to not 'coach' your child's response by putting words in his mouth. Repeatedly ask him what his daddy does when they spend time together.
It is a hard situation but continue to fight! I will pray for you and your child and I wish you all the best! Work with a group that deals with specific targets like your ex-husband, child molestors, pedophiles and other predators as they have probablly been through many of these cases and helped put these monsters away. That what they do. Ask around or look for groups on-line such as Yahoo!groups and do your research.
Assure your son when he is with you no harm will come to him and the actions you take are in his best interest. Be strong for him and don't give up!

Answer 5

If you truly haven't coached your child, then go a step forward, you can buy those little spy cameras or even bears with a small camera in them, send it with your child, before hand get him real used to carrying it around, so he'll do it at dad's. Bust that Mother*&^$#@. Next time you see him take a metal baseball bat and wear his a$$ out, tell him to get a life and leave you and your son alone, my guess he won't call back, oh and have an alibi before you beat his a$$ cause you know the weak b#$%^& is gonna try and have you arested. The law wonders why so many people take matters into their own hands, i couldn't imagine what i would do (probably worse than the bat) if i found this out to be true.

Answer 6

i am so sorry you are going through this. no child should have to suffer and he shouldn't have to say it for a video camera he should only have to have two witnesses present (other than you) i can't imagine what it must be like for you to know you have to send him (by law) with his father or go to jail and then he's there all the time. you may have to move out of state and since it's his visitation he'd have to do the travelling to get the child which he probably won't bother doing. especially if you move far enough away. it's sad they make all of these laws to protect kids but don't enforce them or make them so hard to enforce they may as well not even have them. i hope things get better and i hope your son doesn't have to endure anymore of that. best of luck to you and God bless.

Answer 7

First of all, you are the MOTHER!. You are the only person your child can ask for help. If you know something is wrong, you have to let everybody know. If he still has visitation rights, just tag along. You have custody, you want to go, go ahead. Let the guy know you know whats going on and something is being done. It's not fair for your son, and is not fair for you. You might want to check this website. www.childwelfare.com. Godd Luck.

Answer 8

I would honestly hide a video camera in the house and when your son comes home ask him what him and his dad did over the weekend.......and make sure you are in the area where the camera picks it up.........don't hound him though. Also if the father isn't paying child support then I would go back to court and talk to the judge.

Answer 9

If you have a Video camera hook it up where he does not know you are taping him and let him tell you what is going on with his Dad and take it to the judge and show him.Or take him back to court asap talk to the Judge that you are 100% possible that your Child is being abused.Good Luck

Answer 10

If I was positive my childs father did that kind of stuff to him I would take my child away where he couldn't find us. If they won't protect my child then I would take care of it myself. I know that you are not supposed to take your child away like that but there is no way I would let him ever see him again. If you don't protect your child who will? Plus what do you think your child thinks if you make him go with his daddy after he has told you that his daddy does these sick things to him. I wouldn't care if it was against the law. Are they doing anything to protect your child? Protect your child before he takes things farther than he already has.