I know guys dont like to be pressured and thats what I did to my hunny.He just got out of a relationship. Not JUST but its 4mos and just 3wks ago they settled their differences and can move on comfortably. even though I knew he would need to recoup and it wouldnt be smart to get serious so fast, I went for it anyway. Before I went for it, we were having regular sex and doing evrything a couple did without the title. I was ok with that, the main issue i was having was i just needed to be reassured i was the only one.
i told him i wanted commitment, he said he wasnt ready. b/c of that he added that we shouldnt have sex anymore. We still hang out but more on a friend tip. have i ruined it, has all houghts if him being with me seriously left his mind? is there chance for us to get back where we used to be?
yesterday morning he pulled me into bed w/ him no sex. but then that night he told me he thought he was dreaming, & was surprised to see me in the flesh. what do i make of that?
2007-01-21 15:15:42 · 15 answers · asked by Tian 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hi,
you may not have ruined it but you need to be very careful with this situation . he is variable. he could be thinking about his old girl. or trying to figure out what he did wrong with her, and with you steeping in like that he could begin to use you like a door mate. stay with the no sex policy,even if it was not your idea make sure that it you he wants first before you allow him to make love to you again.
2007-01-21 15:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does want you, but like he said, he just needs time before he can make a serious committment. Just give him a little space on that issue, but still be there for him. He does want you or he would not have suggested that you two still be friends and not have sex anymore. If he wasn't sincere, he would still be sexing you and not caring. Give him some time until he wants to commit unless it's too long. If a guy can lay in the bed with you without having sex and not pressuring you, then he's worth it. Girl he does like you and want to be with you...that's what it means.
2007-01-21 23:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't ruined it.... yet. What you should do is back off and give him some space. Perhaps what happened in his prior relationship is making him think twice about rushing into anything. He obviously likes you, that's not the issue. If you play a little hard to get you will notice how quickly his tune will change. He may just want to make sure he's doing things for the right reasons. A little space and time will help him realize he wants to be with you
2007-01-21 23:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by crapicella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the last part about him pulling you into bed....he wasn't dreaming, he just wanted you, but didn't want to admit he made a mistake. I think you need to talk to him again. I'm in a similar situation, except I'm him and my guy is you. I met him immediately after breaking up with my fiance', it took me about 3 times of pushing him away and telling him I didn't want a commitment. We even did talk about the no sex part, to prove that really had something more, but it didn't last very long. He was always understanding and kept asking me out, so I've decided to committ to it, so far so good. It took about 3 months to get to the commitment from me though. Iwas scared to death and still am, but decided to be scared with him by my side. Its confusing to meet someone so soon after a breakup, especially someone I like so much and am having incredible sex with, I'm sure you can understand that. My best advice would be to patient, let him know you understand where his head and heart are at and be open and always let him know you care for him and you don't want to share him....it worked to get me.
2007-01-21 23:30:00 · answer #4 · answered by t f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You brought up commitment and he said no sex. I know exactly what's going on. You two have been having a sexual relationship with no strings attached. He wants to take a break from sex to see if there is more to it than just sex. You didn't ruin anything. Be patient and show him that you care for him. Sex will be back when he's convinced that there is a future with you.
2007-01-21 23:23:33 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You knew he won't get serious so soon and yet u go for it and now ur asking whether u have ruin it? In the first place, he is just getting over his past relationship...and get to have sex with u without having to be committed...so it's easy, he ain't ready for a relationship for now. He might be having sex with u for his sexual needs and not cause he love u.
2007-01-21 23:31:39 · answer #6 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so you are seeing eachother...having sex..and he said no to a commitment. Hmmm... I would not want to be having sex with someone that I didnt have a commitment with. If this is ok with you then maybe time will help these things and you will be together. I am thinking though...if he did not want to commit maybe there is someone else. good luck
2007-01-21 23:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he likes you but he needs time to recoup. give it to him and you should get the results you want. he just got out of a relationship; that can be draining sometimes.
2007-01-21 23:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should be with someone who's afraid of commitment which means that he's not planning to have a future with you. WHY WASTE YOUR TIME?
2007-01-21 23:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply put, you took away his power. He wants to be the one to give the lable. He still wants you, but is going to play hard to get. Either wait or let it go and be his friend.
2007-01-21 23:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by SINGLEMOM4 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋