I have recently found out that my maid of honor has been lying to my fiance and I on some serious issues. She has also been trash talking me to mutual friends,other bridesmaids, and even aquaintences. She is also taking credit for some of the helpful things my fiance and I did for a mutual friend. (We paid for the friends entire wedding and kept it between us, her, and the friends gettin hitched.) I have no "proof" but the person that sat me down and told me.(EXTREMELY RELIABLE!!!) This person does not want me to tell the maid of honor it was her who tattled for fear of retaliation. (Understandable when the MOH has a rep for doing such) How do I approach this? Do I let it slide? She has never treated me like this (to my knowledge) before but in the past 5 yrs.I've seen it happen to others. I guess I should've known it would happen to me sooner or later but I looked the other way. I'm payin now. I don't want a blowout fight before the wedding but how do I stomach her in it? HELP!
2007-01-21 15:11:13 · 4 answers · asked by Debbie S 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
We have also had issues w/ the MOH argueing badly if we don't use ALL her ideas for the wedding!
The MOH and the tattler had a talk and they were the only 2 there. the tattler instantly can and told me what happened so the MOH would know where I got the info.
2007-01-21 15:14:47 · update #1
The tattler is the woman whose wedding I paid for. The MOH told this womans family that she was the one who made the wedding possible! The family didn't need to know that they didn't pay for their own wedding. That is how the tattler and MOH started the initial discussion.
2007-01-21 15:35:50 · update #2
Why do you want her for your maid of honor on the happiest day of your life? Why look back at the photographs years later and see her there?
It would be better to have your show down before the wedding and get it over with. Get a new maid of honor. If your friend will not come to the wedding then she won't come. No big deal.
If you just won't oust your friend, then take away her power. Have the wedding be how you want it and have that be that. Under no circumstances are you to be bullied by her anymore. It is time to step up to the plate and act like an adult. It won't be pretty, but it will get easier and it is necessary. TAKE CONTROL!
2007-01-21 15:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can inform her that you are aware of the things that she has been saying and doing and that if she were ever any sort of friend to you she wouldn't have been acting like this towards you, but especially right before your wedding - the one that she most certainly isn't involved in anymore. I would substitute the person that told you the truth about her for your MOH. She seems to be the true friend. By the way, if the traitor asks who told you, tell her it's none of her business - that's only something you would tell a friend - which she apparently is not. Remember - this is YOUR day. Don't let ANYONE ruin it for you!! Stand up to this bully, girl!!!
2007-01-21 15:23:05 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WTF would you want to keep her in the wedding party, as well as a friend? Kick her *** out of your wedding party and find a replacement.
If you beat around the bush, it will never get better. Confront, deny, argue. Doesn’t sound like fun. Be being your maid of honor is just that, an honor. If she is so disloyal, why would you keep her? Dissolve the friendship, get a new maid of honor and forget about her.
In my wedding party, a couple standing up for us agreed to walk with other people (not each other). We did this to avoid height mis-matches. About a week before the wedding, she called and said she “was now uncomfortable” with her not walking with her significant other. My reply was simple: “either walk with who you are suppose to walk with or don’t show up at all, especially if your going to and b*tch & moan. It’s our special day – not yours”. She did as requested.
Sometimes you have to draw the line. When they cross it, give them hell and make them regret crossing that line. Most people just look the other way when these things happen. People need to start putting their foot down in a firm manner.
2007-01-22 00:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has done this to others. why is she your maid of honor, she has none and you should dump her.
2007-01-21 15:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by corvuequis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋