I got engaged to my finance last July while i was on vacation. Everything was good and all. We stayed together a month, then I had to leave back to America where I live. For the first two months of our long distance relationship we were doing fine, we would call each other and always write to each other, him more then me! But now he won't write to me anymore, and when I try to call him, he never picks up or picks up but never talks, just listens. It happened so suddenly and I want to know whats wrong. I've never tried to do anything to ever hurt him. Guys I need your help to tell me whats going on with him. Thank you so much if you can help me.
2007-01-21 14:56:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can't see him until this summer coming up....Another thing...he was in love with me more than i even loved him. He was all attached to me, always wanting me there with him and stuff...now I'm worried whats wrong.
I prefer a the answer from a GUYS perspective please.
2007-01-21 15:05:00 · update #1
Thank you for all the advice. It's really good help.
But theres something else, I CAN'T get a hold of him, I've been trying in every way...how am I supposed to discuss anything with him if I can't even reach him..it's breaking my heart.
2007-01-21 15:16:23 · update #2
More detail you ask..?
Well, I'm possibly only the second girl in his love life. I'm his first finance. He left the first girl a couple of months he got with me, [even though he totally denies he even knows her, his mom told me the real story] but I don't know if he truly loved her because I know a man can only love once and I don't want to bring her up to not hurt him. He might think I'm being suspicious of him.
Some of his characteristics are he's smart, very sensitive, funny, a little stubborn, understanding, and a lonely fellow when I met him. Probably now I'm gone he's right back to his loneliness but I'm not sure because I'm not a guy to know, so thats why I need a males view. You'd understand more. Thank you people!!
2007-01-21 15:30:28 · update #3
Long distance relationships are very hard on guys, and he could just be depressed from the lack of your presence. I found it very hard for me after my wife and I were married, she moved back to Texas and I didn't join her until over a month later...ouch!!
All you can do is try to talk to him. Don't give up, keep trying. If , however, he simply won't talk to you or write...set a date. Either you tell me what's going on by 3-31-07 or the wedding's off...hopefully that will tell him
1. That you want to understand what he's feeling
2 That you won't allow him to play with your emotions (you remain in control)
3. That you love him and want to make it work.
4. But that if he doesn't reply within a given time frame, you WILL move on with your life...without him.
Good luck.
2007-01-21 15:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got engaged when you were on vacation in another country? Ask yourself a couple of questions.
1) Did you know him before you got there, or is it where you met him?
2) When you "We stayed together a month" were you having sex?
3) You didn't say where your vacation was. Was it a poor third world country?
4) What does he do for a living?
If you fell in love with a vacation gigolo I would say you are better off without him. As a man I can tell you that it would not be the first time a man took advantage of a tourist.
2007-01-21 23:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once the r-ship becomes more work than fun, hes gonna stop investing in it as much.
im sure that by the time this post goes up, there will be a bunch of people urging you to "tell him how it is" but realistically you only have 2 real options for continuing.
1. live close enough to have a real r-ship
2. go with the flow
2007-01-21 23:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by THEMENACE47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he found someone else, but if he loves you as much as you say he loves you, then I doubt it. It could be that he got tired of being the one with more love, the one who called the most. Or he could be having cold feet, or he's just too busy. The only way you're going to find out is to ask him. Tell him how you really feel.
2007-01-21 23:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry but i have to say something.
Something similar happened to be a few years ago.
He had other issues i didnt know about.
Like mental issues, another woman problems with commitment.
The cold freeze could be .
A lot of things
Read this book please !
Loving smart by dr phil
This hurts and your imagination is going wild and it hurts.
You at least need closure.
Write him or email to him after you read this book!
Was it a summer fling for him?
Was he with someone? Did he meet someone?
Sorry for sticking my nose in but i couldnt help it.
I just gave it to God
I went on with my life.
Breathed in and out.
God sent me the most wonderful man and actually the other guy done me a favor. I just didnt realize it at the time.
God bless you. I will pray for you
2007-01-29 17:47:23 · answer #5 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are very hard to make work. Talk to him and ask him how he feels about getting engaged and if he's having second thoughts. Ask him if he's having problems and needs to talk, talking to each other helps a lot, you both need to tell each other how you feel.
2007-01-21 23:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess u shld talk to him. He might have someone else and thinking on how to tell ur or he cld be stressed out from work if he is working or cld be something going on in his life right now. Rather then thinking and speculating the whole scenario, ask him abt it.
2007-01-21 23:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, okay, this is my opinion so don't kill me for it okay. You should stop wearing the ring until you get a hold of him, because if he isn't answering your calls or even writing to you, something is wrong, and if he doesn't have time for his girl his love of his life, he shouldn't have one....It is unfair to leave you like that....if he wants you, he has to call YOU...and write YOU...Again this is my opinion, do not...repeat do not kill me for it.
2007-01-29 22:23:50 · answer #8 · answered by Zachary V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should quickly find a way to meet up face to face. That will solves up your problem. If not continue longer in this situation it will end up pretty soon. I've experienced this problem before, trust me.
2007-01-21 23:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell us more particulars...
But, you must know something true about guys... most of guys needs their lovers live with them for natural needs...What really expect from a guy...
99% of Women must be turned ON... otherwise they really do not have that much sexual feelings.... to be with a guy urgently...
However...
99% of Guys are 'Automatically" ready to GO... and it is very very hard for them to push it down...it must GO somewhere...
YES, I know...you all hate guys for this kind of character...but this is what "We Are..."...sorry...
2007-01-21 23:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋