I am a nice guy who does his job well and works hard everyday. I have a co-worker and she treats all the other people in my dept with fairness and respcct ... all but me. She is immature for her age and seems jaded towards life. She was cool to me when I started but now she is ignorant to me and is not respectful to me. I do not know what I did and she seems to keep it up. I tried 'killing with kindness', but it doesn't work. It's getting to the point where I do not like going to work in the morning. Please help. Thanks.
2007-01-21 14:55:18 · 15 answers · asked by Nice Guy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Remember when you were a kid (immature) and there was a girl you liked? But for some reason you pulled her hair instead of trying to hold hands with her.
Get the picture?
What I'm trying to say is that she has a crush on you, but she's so immature that she doesnt' know how to express it.
2007-01-21 15:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by Dethruhate 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Ack! This is a horrible situation to be in. I really feel for you!! First, keep doing what you're doing - be nice, keep your head down and keep on doing your job as best as you can.
As for dealing with her, my advice is to take the bull by the horns and confront her. Be nice about it, but say it, point blank to her, so there's no subtlety, grey area or room for doubt. It's a very hard and sometimes uncomfortable thing to do, but can be worth it in the end.
The next time she says something rude or mean, look her square in the eye, and calmly and in a non-accusatory tone, say "I'm really sorry. Have I done something to upset you?" It's a way of opening the dialogue that's not putting her on the defensive. You may be surprised. She may not be aware she's treating you the way she is. Or, maybe you DID do something and don't even know it. Some people are really touchy, and you may have said something completely innocently and offhanded and meant NOTHING by it, but she took it the complete wrong way. Give her a chance to say it.
Once it's out in the open and you're both on the same page, you can begin to rebuild a solid working relationship.
I have done this in the past, and it's uncomfortable to do, but seriously, in the end, I developed some great working relationships with these people.
If all else fails, your next step would be to speak to your direct supervisor about the situation.
Best of luck to you!
2007-01-22 01:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try to have a "heart-to-heart" talk with her? This is either in the office during breaks or over a cup of coffee outside the office? Tell her that it bothers you that she has been giving you bad treatment, and ask her what exactly is it that you've done to be treated that way? Tell her too that it isn't nice for officemates to be indifferent to each other because you interact with each other everyday. Make her open up. Perhaps, something is bothering her, which only the two of you can resolve.
2007-01-25 13:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by batchuchi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happens to many people including me. What I do is think of that person and I keep repeating a 100 times >my divinity met your divinity, love and kindness between us.When you go to work in the morning say to yourself God bless us .Greet her and be polite to her,then ignore her,talk to her only in regards of works Don't make any comments to her from your other co workers.Show her that you are greater than her,that you are not bother by her immature ways.
2007-01-21 15:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by Vannili 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either be really nice to her & try to change her mind about you or just ignore her. Since you've already tried the former, experiment with the latter?
"Nothing is worse than active ignorance."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
2007-01-21 15:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by acidten 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Document everything. Keep a record of all her insults and of any witnesses. She should not know that you do this. Make a complaint to hr. Have it on record. Do not be mean to this woman. Continue to act with the utmost integrity.
2007-01-21 15:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Mike
2016-05-24 11:36:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bet is that she is threatened by you and knows you are better than her at your job or whatever. This is the way the ******* act to stay in charge. Watch your butt. She will get you any way she can.
2007-01-21 15:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speak to a mentor at your workplace or contact HR. True, no one in HR really cares about you or your interests, but it's still good to have something on record about the way she treats you.
2007-01-21 15:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she's acting like a jerk to you, you are under no obligation to be nice to her - treat her just as shabbily as she treats you!
2007-01-21 15:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋