My husband is currently out in the field. We have two children, twins who are 2 1/2 years old. He has been to Iraq once but has been home (when not in field or schooling) since the twins were 8 months old. Lately when he has to do a field rotation, or go to some sort of schooling, hes been upset. He constantly asks me how the kids do, are they crying for him, are they asking for him. The truth is the ask 24/7 for him and cry the first few days hes gone. The next few months he will be gone 2 weeks gone, 2 weeks home, until march and that is when our next baby is due then its rumored his unit will be going to Iraq in the summer. My question is, would you tell your husband the truth about the kids missing him, me missing him ect....or say we are all doing ok? How much is to much to tell him?
2007-01-21 14:44:03 · 16 answers · asked by misty n justin 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Thanks for the input so far...its just weird, we have been in this for 4.5 years now, but i guess it just gets harder each time he has to leave. I imagine it is pretty hard....and now the kids are older and have a strong bond with him. Hes scared the new baby wont even know him and i think thats whats making him depressed. I just wasnt sure how much to tell him. Thanks for all input!
2007-01-21 15:01:46 · update #1
Of course I would tell him about the kids. I know my husband while deployed wants to know the good, bad and ugly of everything going on in our lives.
2007-01-21 14:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by mpwife_99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie oh I so understand your plight. Please, tell him all!! The thing is is that when your husband is away his fears are that his kids WON'T miss him and might forget him while he is gone. It's the whole out of sight/out of mind mentality. He needs to hear that he's still loved and missing someone and telling them is the best medicine. It may make you both cry and feel sad, but when that phone is hung up or that email has ended it makes you feel whole again. Tell him what you do to help them to remember that daddy will be home again and that he loves them with all his heart. But, at the same time you've got to tell him that even tho you and the kids miss him that you are all OK and looking forward to his return.
When he does go to Iraq send pictures EVERY WEEK!!! He might not get them in order, but he can see his children growing. It's so important that he keeps that connection so that when he comes home he's not overwhelmed w/ how big they got or what new thing they are doing. Plus, the pics of you too will help (and the new little one).
I saw this really neat digital picture holder and you can store up to 50 pics in it. I'm planning on buying one and then when my hubby leaves for deployment in Sept I'm going to take pics from Xmas and birthdays, etc and then send that to him. That will be in addition to all the other hard copy photos that I send.
I know that this is long, but I'm just trying to help you with the seperation and keep him in the loop at the same time.
My hubby just left today for a two week workup and my son (who is Autistic) was crying so much.
Good luck and I hope that it all works out for you!
2007-01-21 14:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by Boo Boo Head 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You tell him to a point. Say yes they miss him. They cry sometimes for him. But they are dealing with it well. As for the baby they will bond when he comes back home. My son did everytime my husband came home. Just don't tell him things like my son did. Pointing out the front door yelling I want my da da for an hour. Running around the house trying to find him. He also had trouble eating the first month he was away. Good luck with everything. Congrats on the new baby.
2007-01-21 16:22:03 · answer #3 · answered by nay 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him how much his family misses him. Don't go overboard about it because that will make him feel completely helpless. When my husband is gone, I tell him that I miss him like crazy and our dogs keep looking for him just enough to make him feel important. Don't go on and on and start crying because that would probably make him feel responsible and upset him. You are his morale booster! Just let him know you love him, support him, and can't wait for him to be home! Good luck to your family!
2007-01-21 18:48:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My hubby has been overseas twice and will be going back in a few months, it means the world to them knowing they are thought about and missed. So absolutely tell him that you and your kids miss him terribly, tell him that the kids are asking for him because they love their daddy, and let him know that you are OK and the kids are OK, that you understand why he is doing what he's doing and you support him 1000%. We are military wives and we are strong!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-21 14:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that they miss him, but make it sound like it burdens you, that is my biggest worry when I deploy. How much the wife/mother can handle during a deployment is the most distracting and bothersome thing. Kids will be alright, but if my wife can't handle it then my kids suffer. It is also important to let him know the you miss him too.
2007-01-21 14:50:40 · answer #6 · answered by SuiCyco 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him that you all miss him a lot. but as a military wife, you should make sure that you get used to that. im not married yet but we are getting married this coming september and my fiance has already gone to Mississippi and is in Italy right now and it is very very hard. and he had a 3 year old son that is with me now and its so hard for him too because he doesnt understand why daddy is not home. and it just hurts right when they leave but for me i've gotten used to it after a couple days. i think it hurts so bad becausei know for me, im used to him taking care of me and his son, and then he leaves and all of a sudden i have to fend for myself and my step-son to be. when he went to Mississppi, i had only known his son for about 2 weeks because his ex wife actually stole him for the 1st 2 months we were together. so after only know his son 2 weeks, i had to take care of him myself for 2 weeks with no help. that was hard to take care of him. but i miss my fiance more now and he has been gone since last monday to Italy, i miss him more now than i did when he went to Mississippi i think because we area even closer than we were.
but seriously just let him know you miss him a lot that way he knows you still care as much about him and want him home as soon as he can.
2007-01-21 14:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by Randi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him the truth.. if anything hed want to know that everyone misses him.. i mean dont go telling him that the kids cant leave their beds or whatnot cuz that sounds like an exaggeration.. but get a webcam for both of you.. that way the kids can see him whenever he gets to a computer and so do you
2007-01-21 15:00:11 · answer #8 · answered by t 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husbands wants me to?
2017-02-26 03:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by Beverly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hypothetical Question: Husband or Child?
2017-02-23 14:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋