when i was little mom got married to "dad" he was nice but now hes...?

Question

at first my step dad was loving and kind and then he was starting to be more firm and now it seem since ive turned 12(im almost 14 now) hes been so cruel like everything i do is wrong like i was crying one day and told mom i didnt feel like talking when she asked whats wrong and she told him and he gave me a LONG lecture and threatened to give MY DOG away to someone because im irresponsible and dumb(might i add im the only one who look after my dog feeds walks train play ect) is it verbal abuse when my step dad call me stupid (like every day) and yells at me for no reason or for not putting the dishes in the dishwasher right? and im old enough to know to do things when im told but he still yells at me for not doing them his way ive tried talking to btoh of them but now my mom is starting to be like him to what do i do i really hate him he makes me fell like a worthless peice of crap?

Answer 1

I think you should talk to your Mom and if she's a good mother she'll at least put her foot down and confront him, if not leave him because NO ONE should be more important to a parent than their child. My boyfriend has a 6 year old son who will be my step-son someday and i could NEVER treat him like that and your step-dad shouldn't be treating you like that. I really hope things get better for you,though,sweetie. But just hang in there. And try to find someone to talk to; a friend, relative; someone you really trust. And if it comes down to it where you really need to, maybe you should talk to your school counselor. Hopefully, someone could help you do something about this. I wish you the best.

Answer 2

Did your step-father call you dumb or did he suggest you had a problem with doing dumb things? There is a difference as all of us may do something that turns out to look stupid to some. These two ways of correction are totally different. A parent may tell you that something you did was stupid but they should not call you stupid! He is wrong in calling you stupid. I would confront him with it but in a special way... Say, "Dad, I may do some things that you do not like or think are stupid and I am sorry for it; but I am not stupid, I just make mistakes!" He will probably agree with you if you do this with respect as parents need to feel respected. God bless. Earl

Answer 3

I am 20 now I have been through the same thing but worse. My step dad was around since I was 6 months old hekilled him self may 2006. When I was 7 he was a drunk who abused coacain also and he touched my pepe 1 time while under the influence. I went to a fosterhome when my mom got me back he could'nt come back until 3 years he kissed my butt the time I saw him during the 3 years he was'nt even sappose to be around, and when he moved back in he started to call me names and he beat me 3 times. My mom had 2 kids with him my sister and brother, he was great to them but he singled me out it was obvious to every one. I strated to resent my mother for staying with him. Your dad is 100% verbally abuseing you. If I could go back in time I would have called the cops on him agian for beating me. If he ever grabs you inappropriately in anyway call the cop's and get his butt thrown out, your mama is'nt gonna do it. Stand up to him and make him feel 2 in. tall tell him. How you notice the difference in treatment, and if he does'nt start treating you better that he will regret it. Never show him your weakness never let him see you cry, instead tell him straight up your a __ year old man and i'm only 13, your a pathetic excuse for a step dad, try telling me in a nicer tone of voice and in nicer words and then I will respect you. Or you can make me hate you for the rest of your life DAD! I hate guys who are manipulative like that. Good Luck make sure he does'nt ruine your good traits, or the way you feel about guys I have 3 kids and they have the best step dad ever, I made sure of that.

Answer 4

No it is not ok for your step-dad, [even if he was your real father] to talk to you in that way, talk with a counselor at school, or if you're able to a doctor, by law they have to contact the right people to come and help your step-dad and your mom, to deal with whatever is causing them to take their frustrations out on you. If they should hit, do your best to get in contact with the police, and they will put you in protective custody. Until your step-dad and mom can get and practice the help they need. Signed Was verbally abusive to my kids.and was abused as a child

Answer 5

Sometimes step parents feel threatened by kids that aren't theirs. I would try talking to him, but if you feel like it's too late and you really don't think you'll ever have a good relationship, then here's what I would suggest:

Be the better person and DO NOT let him get to you.
You only have 2 more years until you can start driving and get a job. Then you won't have to be around him that much anymore.
If you really feel like he's being completely unfair and not just trying to be a parent, set your mom down when he's not there and tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her you are really concerned that he's picking on you rather than trying to guide you. By the way..ask your mom how she would like it if he called HER stupid all the time.

You are not stupid. It sounds like he is VERY ignorant and feels threatened by your presence. Ignore him, and whatever you do, DO NOT listen to him when he puts you down. Good luck. Oh yeah...learn from him, and when you get older, make sure you don't make the mistakes he is making. Take care bud! :)

Answer 6

well, i think ur dad is depressed, have problems of his own, etc and he is just not able to control himself. But u definitely is not a worthless piece.. so dont think too much. we all go through that and later found that we are much worthy than what ppl and ourselves thought we are.

u see, we cannot blame parents for their behaviour bec its the first time they are parenting too.. and they are also experimenting on best way to train or lecture a child to make him/her a better person. ur step dad just might not know the right formula yet.. and u as a child, its ur first time being a child too, right? no experience or anything.. so yes.. talking to them is the right first step to do. actually, it should be a compromise.. "hey mom and dad, i dont like u being angry with me and i wil try my best to do what is right" then u go out there and do the right thing....

Answer 7

That stinks. My step dad was the same way. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. But hang in anyway. You're better off with them than somewhere else.

Answer 8

Have you tried to talk to your mom in private about the change in your stepdad's attitude toward you? Maybe she could provide some insight. Sit down with her and have a heart to heart. Is it possible to have a family meeting without any attitudes and let them know exactly how you truly feel? Stay calm, no screaming or yelling and Good luck.

Answer 9

If your mom siad the same things you would feel differently. It is easier to forgive your blood. If he was your "real" dad, you woul dnot even questions his "lectures". Be happy that he loves you enought to try and steer you in teh right direction.

Many step parents make this mistake, especially if he has been in your life for a while. He loves you so much that he sees you as his child that he wants to direct, and mold and ensure that you have good values. ... he doesn't realize that you don't love him enough to see that.

Answer 10

I'm very sorry about your situation. Can you tell another adult that you trust? Like a school counselor? A teacher or coach? It sounds like your family needs some counseling. Your school counselor might be able to help you with some of this stuff. I know it is lame, but I doubt that you could afford one on your own right now. I wish you luck.