The thing is that the parent who doesn't know is emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to the parent who is cheating, so I feel more sympathy towards the cheating parent. But I still feel bad for being stuck in the middle. I don't know what to do!!! Who should I tell, if anyone? By the way, I'm seventeen, if that matters.
2007-01-21 13:46:07 · 21 answers · asked by kewlchic189 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your one parent is probably cheating due to the physical and emotional abuse they live with from their spouse, so they are seeking love elsewhere. In a way, yeah, I would feel bad too.
If you know that this might put the cheating parent in harm's way or up for bad abuse, I don't think I would say anything. That's just me. I would confront the cheating parent and have a talk with her/him privately that I know what they're doing and how it makes me feel, but I wouldn't tell the abuser.
What a horrible situation to be in.
2007-01-21 13:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The abuse is more than likely the reason why they are cheating--being put down and feeling hurt some people turn to someone that is accepting and kind--And you are not stuck in the middle--the one you should tell is the parent who is cheating--tell them if they are so unhappy with the other they need to think about throwing in the towel or at least get counseling to see if they can resolve the marriage problems--
2007-01-21 14:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually just encountered this situation today, last year I accidentally found an email to a parent from someone that was very incriminating. I am very close with this parent, and was afraid to say anything to them, or to my other parent. I actually told my mom today about what I had found (in confidence) because I felt that she needed to know. In retrospect, I should have just told my dad what I found, and let him deal with it, since it is HIS responsibility. I am a few years older than you, and out of the house, so it doesn't have a major impact on me, but no one wants to see anything bad happen to a marriage. I would politely let the cheater know, whatever it is you know, and allow them to do the "right thing". If you know the other parent is abusive, I most certainly would not be the one to break the news to them. Hope this helps, I really feel for you, as this is very awkward.
2007-01-21 14:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I would advise you to just leave it alone. Just go on with your life and say nothing to anyone. Think about all that could take place and nothing would be made better, and you my Dear would be right in the middle, and you would always wish at 17 you had just kept your mouth shut.
I am a Mother of 5 grown married children talking here so I feel my advise is sound and I wish you weren't in this predicament but it is not for you to put one parent against another. You would never forgive yourself. God Bless you and I hope you have a Great New Year. ~~~~~~~~ Jill
2007-01-21 14:25:47 · answer #4 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry you caught in the middle of the drama, It is not your problem and if you feel in your heart you need to say something just be prepared for what will happen afterward but remember IT is not your fault.
I was in this situation when I was your age and I didnt say anything, my parents are still together but I Always wonder what it would have been like if I would have said anything
2007-01-21 13:54:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a talk with the parent who is cheating. Tell them what you know, and how much it bothers you to have to keep the secret, even though you sympathize with them in their situation. It sounds like it's time for that parent to get some counseling, and possibly seek a divorce. Maybe this will help give them the courage to do it.
2007-01-21 13:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are in a really difficult situation. From your question, I can assume that your parents are not happy married. Try confronting the cheating parent. There are two sides to every story and although there is no excuse to cheat, you may be able to better understand that parent's reasons. Depending on that parent's response, decide if you should confront the other parent.
2007-01-21 13:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by Love&Confusion 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a very difficult position for you to be in I'm sorry you are going through it, must feel like you are betraying one parent and must feel obligated to be loyal to the other, I think the parent that is cheating and you should have a talk and you should tell him/her how you feel and that it needs to stop or needs to be known, you are in a sense a victim of a emotional heartache and I wish you luck.
2007-01-21 13:50:48 · answer #8 · answered by nissdonna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if there's a possibility for violence , don't initiate it . They are adults ; they are in charge . You are too young to be in the middle of this . If you already know what's going on , there is a good chance the other knows of the cheating - which may have perpetrated the anger towards the cheater .
2007-01-21 13:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think is simple cuz, the cheatin parent have a reason to cheat, cuz u r sayin the other 1 is physically abusive so how can a person love some1 that abuse u, so i think u should talk to the cheatin parent and tell him u kno hes cheatin on the other parent, but u understand and tell him that is best to end that relationship becuz the love is gone and nozin is goin to make that change and makes no sense to try keep it alive ,.......cuz is not.
2007-01-21 13:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by romy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋