my fiance and i got engaged wehn we were pretty young (16/17) and my parents have completely ignored the fact that we are engaged. we have decided on a date for our wedding 2009 when we willl be a year away from finishing college. i want to tell my family, my whole family, not just my parents but i am hesitant to do so because i don't want to upset my parents. we were going to around Christmas time, but i decided not to since my parents weren't informed ahead of time. how should we go about telling them? and are there any ideas on getting my parents (mostly my mom, ok, just my mom) to stop saying things that suggest i will not be marrying my fiance? she does this a lot (like whenever anything related to marriage/future/children/etc) and it hurts for her to brush off something that she knows is already there. we even took our parents out to dinner when we originally told them and they still act as if we aren't engaged!!! any ideas would be much appreciated.
2007-01-21 13:26:28 · 14 answers · asked by Duelen 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
by the way, his family all know, and they are very supportive. and i don't need to hear from people who are going to tell me i don't know what love is etc. if you're going to say this, save yourself the time and go write it elsewhere! just because i'm young doesn't mean i can't hear what my heart is telling me!
2007-01-21 13:28:47 · update #1
i forgot to say that he's now twenty and i'm now 19!! ooops!!
2007-01-21 13:51:52 · update #2
They may be thinking that just because youre so young, that maybe this is just a stage that will pass (i know it sounds rediculous but parents are like that)... Maybe they dont want to believe it so they just ignore it.
I agree with the person above me. Be completely straight forward. Tell your mom that you're in love and youre engaged, and its hurting you that she's not recognizing it. Engagement should be a fun, exciting time. Tell her shes taking that away from you.
Youre smart to not rush into the marriage itself. Im 20 and ive had people tell me im too young to be engaged but dam n i mean we're not getting married for over a year...
Just be straight forward. Its the only thing you can do. Make sure youre firm though, so they dont go back to acting like nothing ever happened. Good luck sweetie!!
2007-01-21 13:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by Christines256 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok...I understand you are in a huge rush...but I swear that you will look back and think you are and were too young to get married. You have so much more of life to experience. Marriage is something that should not be enetered into lightly. It's not all fun and games. You may have pictures of great times, but you never see pictures of the bad times. Are you ready to deal with the good and the bad? I have a few friends that got married in their early 20's and they now think they were too young and that they missed out on a lot of things. I am 27. I have travelled, had fun, finished college and now I will never have any regrets. You also need to see this from your parents point of view....they love you and want the best for you. Kids don't alsways make the best decisions and every parent will try their hardest to keep their kids safe...which is what your mom is trying to do for you. 2009...yes it is 2 years away, but what is the urgency to get married so young? LIfe is so grand and you should make sure you see it before you tie yourself down. All of my friends are envious of the fact that I chose to wait for marriage because I wanted to do so many things. I will most certainly tell you now that you are going to be a different person when your are my age and your point of view will change as well. Your mom is trying to save you from a horrible divorce. Try to see from her eyes...you are and will always be her baby girl.
2007-01-22 06:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As Salaamu Alaikum my dear sister ♥ I'm so sorry to hear of your ordeal and will be making dua for you inshaAllah. :'( Having seen a couple of people in my family and close friends deal with cancer, I can tell you that you are absolutely going to need all the support you can get. You have to tell them soon so they can inshaAllah help you fight it, and overcome it at an early stage. Just sit with your parents and tell them it pains you to have to say it, but you need their support and then come out with it. There will be tears, that's inevitable but once they know they will do their most to help. You'll feel better knowing your parents are there for you. I will ask everyone I know to make dua for you and for your family inshaAllah. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala give you strength, and grant you health inshaAllah, ameen. <3 <3
2016-05-24 10:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take your mom out to lunch and let her know that you and your fiance have picked a date and it would make you very happy if she could respect your feelings. Let her know how much she has been hurting you with her comments and lack of trust in your decision. Tell her that you would like to announce the date to the rest of the family and have her standing supporting you with that, but if she chooses not to that will be her choice.
Let her know that you love her and that you really want her support on this.... Good luck and congratulations on picking the date....
2007-01-21 13:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by Couple of Cents 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should discuss with your parent and let them know what you are thinking.. and try to find out how they feel about it.. maybe they acted that way because they dont approve of the relationship.. if that is the case ask them what is the reason... sometimes parents just want the best for their children..
2007-01-21 13:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by badtissue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is one of the most difficult every individual has to undergo in life. Nevertheless, you need to tell them but the two of you has to be sure first that you are decided to be, because that can be sensed by your parents or the lack of it. Tell them honestly and respectfully. Sometimes, all we felt are non-existent fear because we think in advance basing on the personality of our parents. Just try telling them. Who knows, that by being firm and sure of your intentions, they will appreciate your plans. And of course pray hard. When God touches the hearts of your parents, the tide will be different. Okay?
2007-01-21 13:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by Bobot M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your Mom and then the two of you together and schedule a time for you to tell your whole family. Maybe she is denial that you are growing up.
2007-01-21 13:36:44 · answer #7 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just get married and stop worring about it u can run away and get married.so u need to make a answer.u have to talk with yo soon to be husband and u think about all the stuff u have to do like take care of children,get a good job,change diapers,wash clothes till yo kids can do it there self,u got to do many things in yo life so be happy u got a husband cause u and him will make a good coulpe so be together for ever and do not leave him ever in yo life.
2007-01-21 13:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really should wait until your schooling is finished, but remember it's your lives and wedding, not your moms, dads or uncles. Just sit your parents down over dinner at a public place(so they won't carry on too much) and tell them how much they're appreciated BUT... ya know?
2007-01-21 13:33:50 · answer #9 · answered by cbutterflyangle 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are serious, of course you should. However, thinking of having a wedding so far away shows that you really are not very serious at all - it's ridiculous.
2007-01-21 21:23:19 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋