I have a female cousin with a disgusting bathroom habit. She's almost 40 yrs old and she won't sit on anyones toilet seat but her own (her entire immediate family is also like this).
She often comes to my place for movies,dinner,etc.
When she goes to the bathroom she squats over the toilet to do her business. When I go in the bathroom behind her I find that she's "sprayed" all over the seat (she makes NO effort to clean up her mess)!!!
Once in the past I questioned her on this and that's when I found out about the toilet seat phobia.
I am insulted that she thinks she's going to get some kind of disease from my toilet and I'm appalled at her "spraying" like some kind of animal.
This past weekend I almost confronted her in front of guests to teach her a lesson but then decided to talk to her in private.
Should I ban her from coming over (I really don't want to)?
Should I ban her from using the toilet in my home?
What would YOU do?
2007-01-21 13:26:16 · 22 answers · asked by mrspunkmeister2u 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Purchase some Lysol wipes and keep them in very plain site in your bathroom. Next time she comes over speak to her in private and tell her that you need her to either wipe the seat with the wipes and sit on it, or is she still needs to squat over your toilet she has to clean it after she is done with those wipes as well. Just be straight up with her and tell her that your not trying to offend her, but when she leaves the toilet like that for others to clean up it isn't right. If she does it again, then understand that she has no respect for your home and she should not be a guest there if she can not show any respect, and don't invite her again. If she confronts you on why, tell her.
2007-01-21 14:28:36 · answer #1 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In light of the fact that you have asked her to clean up her mess and she hasn't. Remove the toilet seats before she comes over and leave a giant container of the lysol disinfectant wipes on the counter and a note posted that says "All persons are expected to clean up any fluids left to promote a healthy enviroment for ALL".
Normally, I wouldn't do this but her inconsiderate behavior forfeits any consideration you would extend her under normal circumstances.
If you don't want to do that then after she goes to the bathroom ask her point blank "Did you clean up the urine on toilet that you usually leave?". Who cares if she is insulted. You are going to have to decide if she is worth having over.
You could also just not invite her over for a long while and when her curiosity gets the best of her and she asks why ; you can then tell her that you are tired of cleaning the toilet after she leaves it so filthy.
2007-01-21 13:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she sprays on the seat it probably is on the floor too and possibly the wall. Tell her to either sit or to bring her own toilet seat covers. You could put a can of Lysol spray in the room and tell her to use it to spray the seat before. I would have to tell her to do better or stay out of my bathroom
2007-01-21 14:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has a real problem. Yes you need to confort her on it but not in front of others and not in a confrontation or criticizing way. Instead of telling her how gross it tell her instead that you are concerned about her. Remember to put yourself in her shoes...this is most likely very embrassing for her. From the sounds of it she will need theraphy to "get over" her phobia and that will take time....so be patient.
Another thing you can do to show her that you will be there to help her through this is to buy those toilet seat covers you see at gas station rest rooms before you talk to her. Maybe, just maybe, she will be willing to sit on one of these while using the toilet at your home.
Good luck and remember it is most likely embrassing for her so be understanding.
2007-01-21 14:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by ruthbeckersc 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have a chat with her. I'd tell her you are understanding to her phobia but when she comes to your house she'll either have to sit down on the seat or clean up after herself because spraying the seat is unsanitary for the next user. Keep a roll of paper towells and spray cleaner handy for her. If she refuses tell her you'll have to see her else where or she can't use the bathroom.
2007-01-21 13:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You might try going to Costco and buying those paper toilet liners. Although, I think I would suggest she wipe down the toilet seat before she uses it to remove germs, and then wipe it down after she's finished so others don't pick up HER germs. Spraying on the seat is usually a guy problem, and females have no problem digging into us, so I would do the same to her. Unacceptable!
2007-01-21 13:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by surfinthedesert 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think your cousin definitely has a phobia about germs, in this case, on any toilet seat. I, myself, wouldn't invite this person over to my house, because I think exercising her phobia in my home would be an insult to me that my bathroom is not clean nor good enough for her. Not to mention that what she does is very inconsiderate to the next user.
You might mention to her next time to bring her own paper toilet seat covers for her personal use, or hand her a sponge, bucket, and bathroom cleaner before she uses your bathroom so she can clean up after herself.
I think this kind of behavior is more accepted in public restrooms, because you really don't know how often they are cleaned and who uses them.
You may want to introduce her to someone named "John". They might hit it off really well, or he may really "piss" her off!
2007-01-21 14:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Truthfully the mannerly thing to do is to pretend to be completely ignorant of what goes on when a guest enters your bathroom, and somehow confused as to how the bathroom got into that state. Seeing as she's family you have leeway on the rudeness of confronting her on her habits. The only thing to do in this situation is to excuse yourself shortly after she returns and clean the seat. At most you may leave those disinfecting wipes prominently near the toilet in hopes she'll use it herself (either before or after) and at least they will be handy should another guest somehow sneak in before you've had a chance to go in after her.
2007-01-21 13:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by SnakEve 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
WOW, A lot of these were real good, I did get a laugh at this, anyway just tell her how much it bothers you and explain that if she is going to use it she has to clean up after herslef, If she still does don't invite her over and then when she wonders why you hav'nt invited her over in a while tell her again.
2007-01-21 15:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by Vintage Diva 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have another talk with her about it. I would tell her that it's disgusting to leave pee all over the toilet seat for someone else to clean up, and if she continues to pee all over your seat without cleaning it up, she will not be welcome to use your toilet anymore. Then leave some paper towels and Fantastic spray under the sink, and show her where they are.
2007-01-21 13:32:32 · answer #10 · answered by Jess H 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋