what should i do?

Question

this is driving me nuts lol. i look forward to seeing my bf, then when i do, little things bug me, like he used to say 'how was your day babe'. now there's no babe. i know that sounds silly, but it all adds up. i get a little upset about it, nothing serious, but then my bf says that i always do it. all i needed was a 'it's ok honey' or a hug, it blows up. he says he doesn't like the way i act. all i did was say i'm sorry, i just wanted a hug or something. it gets bigger and bigger until we aren't talking. then other days, it's sweet and romantic. the problem i'm finding is, whatever i'm upset about, no matter how big or little. we never deal with that at all. even though it was nothing, it doesn't go away because it never gets dealt with we just get more distant. and i feel like 'hey, i just want a guy who's gonna give me a hug' but he brings me down.

Answer 1

baby girl that's just the way the cookie crumbles

Answer 2

Some guys just can't express emotions the way some women can. Physical contact for these guys is general protective in a public situation and sexual in a private one. That middle ground of hugging and touching with no "payoff" of falling into bed is alien to them.

I come from a family of working-class European immigrants to America: Belgian, Italian, Czech. There's a lot of hugging and kissing at family reunions. Maybe you should dump this guy and look for someone like that, a guy from a family that likes to hug.

Answer 3

Hey, you just want a bf who hugs you? That's not much to ask for! You should consider your relationship with him cause you shouldn't settle down with someone who doesn't make you happy.

Besides, the problems should be dealt with, no matter if they're tiny or huge...communication is everything in a relationship.

I suggest you talk to him about this and how you feel, if he still lets you down dump him, he's not worth it.

Answer 4

bring it up to him maybe over the phone so its not so much in your face yelling and such just tell him the way that you've been feeling and how you've noticed things have been changing etc. but i wouldn't really be worried about it everyone fights and when you've been together the little things start to change like him saying babe when he asks how your day is you just become really comfortable and it seems like the little things don't matter anymore but really they do so just try talking to him don't raise your voice don't yell just try and have a civilized converstaion

Answer 5

Dear confused, your issues are obviously important to you. Also, it is important to the relationship that your bf recognize that your issues are your issues and are important to you...even if he doesn't consider them important to him. Talk to him about this. Many people have a tendency to think that if someone else has an issue, it doesn't need to be dealt with. Of course it does. That is, it does if there is to be a relationship. So, when your bf has an issue, tell him you recognize it's his issue and that you're willing to work with him to deal with his issue. Then tell him that you expect reciprocity. When you have the issue, you fully expect him to work with you to deal with your issues. If he can't see this, get another boyfriend who is willing to honor you as he wants you to honor him.

Answer 6

You answered your own question at the end, you said "he brings me down." Move on, never stay around anyone that brings you down. It will get worse.

Answer 7

Grow up biitch

Answer 8

Take him to a gay bar...and you'll probably will find your answers

Answer 9

ok