i have been dating this divorced guy for over 3 mons now and before it gets any farther i want someones opinion on this.he was married for 7yrs with a child that he adoors.hes the best/loving dad i have ever seen.the problem is he cheated on his wife not once but 2x and finally left her for an old gf(not me).he told me his wife was so bad to him she drove him to cheat.i will say in the 3 short mons i have known him he has been nothing short of wonderful/accommodating to her but she has made his life a living hell.example i heard her call him a f-cking a-shole in front of thier 5 yr old child and he just walked away.i asked him if she was so bad to u why did u not leave.he said when u have a child its not that easy u want to make it work.what do u guys think can a controlling wife make u cheat or did he make her that way from all his cheating/lieing on her?
2007-01-21 13:05:10 · 8 answers · asked by heather5jean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Everyone is responsible for every aspect of their life. He ultimately made the decision to get into the relationships with his former wives in the first place. While people can change, you will have to get more information about his past, and spend more time with him to see if he really is the decent man you are describing. Getting more informaiton is the wisest thing to do.
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2007-01-21 13:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Richguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he did (cheat) was wrong. But, it was *his* way of dealing with the issues with his wife. His way was avoidance and moving on with his life, without addressing his issues and either resolving them or ending his marriage because of them. People are human - they don't always handle life issues in a textbook manner. Like "he should have gone to counseling with his wife to straighten out all of those control/mistreatment problems a long time ago before they became a problem." How many times has he heard that?? Easier said/written than done. His personality is the type that has difficulty doing things in the textbook manner (shies away from confrontation, is hurt that his wife could treat him like that, etc.). Sounds like if he was happy he never would have cheated.
2007-01-23 02:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by guitarrista_sean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three sides to every story...
1. Mine
2. Yours
3. The truth
Perhaps the wife really is a witch. Perhaps he really is a jerk. There is a cause and effect relationship to every situation. Hostility is derived from one or both parties not meeting an expectation. Whatever you do, take focus on the child out of the equation. Get to know him first without the child in present company. One thing you don't want is baby daddy/mama drama.
2007-01-21 13:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by Bayne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is always 2 sides to a story, there is probably a shred of truth to both sides, the ex is not all wrong it is just that your boyfriend doesn't want you to see him fight back with her and ruin his chances of keeping your trust in his side of the story. I dated a man that told me that his wife was a cheater but later on I started to see the contolling side of him and he used to claim that he just wanted to "protect him self" from getting finacially ruined by her. He turned to to be the cheapest man I ever dated, and he made a big deal out of every dollar he spent like I should be soooo lucky. Men like that are full of themselves. I also married a man that cheated on his ex and ended up cheating on me after I married him so don't allow him to make you think he is the victim of her The road goes both ways.
2007-01-21 13:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by java348 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you know what, get a divorce if things are that bad. Cheating is cheating.....and makes a damn good excuse for why you did it. How good is it for any child to see his parents fighting or hearing their cheating on their mother. This is not a question for men....every cheating man is going to make it right in his mind, yup, that's why I cheated...she was mean and manipulating. Sorry guys, no excuses, first you get a divorce.Then you keep a good relationship with your kids forever.
2007-01-21 13:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to know what's going to happen with a man in the future - look at his behavior in the past. It's a sure bet that things are not going to be that much different. He has a lot of excuses and the worst one is that a woman "drove" him to cheat. He was the one who got into that relationship and he is the one that contributed to its demise..
good luck!
2007-01-21 13:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sciencemom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would assume she grew bitter and spiteful towards him after he cheated. He, in turn felt she should have forgiven him and never bring it up again. Since she didn't, he got tired of her throwing it in his face. But, she was obsessed with him, so she never tried to control herself anymore. Both of them are equallly guilty.
2007-01-21 13:18:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE caused his own problems by CHEATING! It is that simple. NO ONE is able to 'cause' the person to cheat .. it was a DECISION that he MADE with FULL KNOWLEDGE that it was going to DESTROY his marriage.
2007-01-21 14:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋