Husband 47, Army Veteran,and his anxiexy...?

Question

Backround: been with him 10 years, he is on Paxil 40mg. for the last 7 years. Very anxious in gereral, gets irritated easily. At times he will tell Army tales, some good, some bad, sing Army Cadences in his head for minutes, or hours.Occasionally he will go into a quiet angry place, or "dark funk". For up to 3 days. Today he looks worn out, is very depressed and anxious, And I don't know WHAT to do. If you have any sugestions please share?

He does not do any drugs, drinks once or twice a year. He has not (fingers-crossed) had a Panic Attack in a year or so, but was having them quite often from 2002-2005.

He entered the Army at 19, retired at 20 years at the age of 39 (in 1999). Was in "Desert Storm" . This a.m. he says he didnt sleep good, but does not feel as shaky as last night. Said last evening he felt everything was spiraling out of control, and felt he was doomed. I can tell he's still feeling the same, not a bad. Thank each and every one of you for the posts, I really appriciate it.

Answer 1

Sounds like he has PTSD, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

War, combat, and even just the stress of the demands of the Army can have strange effects. It's a combination of contradictory emotions, all very intense. On the one hand there's the comradery/closeness that develops between soldiers. It is a very strong bond, and the groups' experiences are nearly impossible to duplicate once the soldiers are in civilian environments (like around you; offbase). He may still feel disoriented and isolated outside of his military surroundings, even after 10 years.

If he witnessed carnage or was part of violent, disturbing events, then he likely has a love-hate relationship w his army experience. It hurts to remember, but is hard to forget. It was intensely intimate and dangerous all at once.

What to do? Well, frankly he needs to see his psychiatrist again and they'll likely either get the dose of Paxil increased, or he will be switched to another med. PTSD can be tough to deal with w/out adequate amounts of anti-depressants on board.

He also needs a personal counselor and possibly visits to a good veteran support group. Ask him if he's feeling suicidal or has been thinking of ways to kill himself. If he says "yes" to either, he needs immediate attention from a psychiatrist.

Another thing: The crisis hotline is actually a good resource for him to get some of his worries off his chest. They are generally very caring people who are good listeners, and empathic. We can all stand to bend someone's ear once in a while ;) Best to you and him.

Answer 2

I agree with all of your other friends here. Endogenious Depression is a depression when there are no real reasons to be depressed, as opposed to Exogenious Depression which is depression any one can suffer because of severe situations in their lives. Endogenious Depression seems to run in families, and must have a genetic component. PTSD may have been the initial trigger that set off the whole process. The Paxil may no longer be doing him any good at this stage of the game and he needs to be on something else, or at least a consideration of more of the same, although 40 mg is a significant dose for Paxil. There have been so many improvements of the understanding of PTSD. There was one study which showed that it is a physical disease and not just a psychological affliction. The amygdala is the pleasure center of the brain, and it is where the appreciation of pleasure in an individual is assessed and interpeted by the brain. In PTSD they did scans on the brains of Viet Nam soilders and found these pleasure centers to be almost half the size of normal indivivuals who were also scanned. This PSTD dysfunction combined with the genetic predisposition to be depressed seems to worsen with time and never really improves much without intensive therapy and significant drug treatment as well. Your man needs professional assessment and intervention or he will continue to spiral into a deeper and deeper depression. It is a physical problem involving body chemical imbalances that he is not directly responsible for. They involve chemicals without which he is actually unable to transmit feelings of well being and joy. It is not a weakness in his character, nor is he able to control it without help. They have long known that about 30% of the men who go to war return with the PTSD problem. For years they treated it as though it was a defect in a person's upbringing etc. They called it cowardice in the in the Civil War last century, and in the World Wars this century it was first known as "Shell Shock" and then "Battle Fatigue" as well. By Korea and then Viet Nam it became clear that it was not just a psych problem. Only now is it being explored so much more throughly. Your man needs help. Help you can not give him all alone. Please do not wait any longer. In men depression is anger turned inward. Eventually he could be driven to hurt himself. Please insist that he get help. He will resist, most men do.

Answer 3

He sounds very ill. Given he is only 47, that means he's not old enough be have been in VietNam. I might check and make sure he is taking his meds. Sounds to me like he needs more than just Paxil. Sometimes when you're on an antidepressant for a long period of time it just doesn't "work" any more and the prescription should be changed. Paxil comes in a "CR" now, continual release. He needs to go to the VA and see a doc. And you, my dear, need to get out and make some friends. Godloveya.

Answer 4

I had the same problem when i got out from the army too i still sing cadences i say either give him his space or take him to therapy it'll help him out a lot in the long run try that 1st

Answer 5

i'm 39 and a veteran myself, did he have a prior acohol or drug addiction? I did and go to aa meetings.does he felt left out of the war? i'm glad i'm home where god needs me.I developed anxiety when i found out my wife has been cheating on me, i took celalex but relized i had to become a man...I left her two weeks ago and feel better, now she has the anxiety, lol I will not take drugs to stay in a unhappy situation. not to accuse you of anything wrong but to share my problem and hopefully help you find what upsets your husband? hold on to him, it's lonely when you get separated.

Answer 6

try to bare with him he cant help the way he feels these men and women went through a lot for us in dark times now we need to stand by them i was also on paxil it didnt help me at all see if his dr will try him on something else he is a hero for fighting for his country

Answer 7

The VA has PTSD clinics, where he can get treatment inexpensively or for free. Call the Psychiatry Service at your local VA hospital or outpatient clinic.

Answer 8

Get him to go to a private specialist.