the 'L word'...when to say it & how do you know?

Question

how do you know when to say it??

its such a big deal i wont want to mess anything up or make my bf feel awkward if he doesnt feel the same way..hes never been in love before and neither have I.

all my friends say that it seems like we are falling in love, and i think i am, but when we ever we talk about it he says that he doesnt think he'll ever know if hes in love because he doesnt know what it is...as if that makes sense to anyone except him..

but my question is when do you say it, and how do you know that they feel the same way?

thank you soooo much!

Answer 1

Once you say it, it's out there and you can't pretend you never said it. If he doesn't say it back how will you feel? I guess when it's got you all tied up in knots and you just can't keep it in any longer you will say it without worrying about the fallout. Until then tell how much you like spending time with him or that you love the relationship.

Answer 2

Words have the meaning you give them...plus whatever meaning you might find in a dictionary. We tend to give greater or lesser importance to words depending on the circumstances when they're used. If you're in a passionate embrace and the L word comes out, from either of you, it may mean one thing; if you're sitting at the dinner table discussing world politics and the L word comes up, it may mean something entirely different.
You might start by asking yourself if it is important to have the word in your relationship? Where do you want to go with this relationship? If you use the word, or he does, and the relationship lasts only another month or so, how will you feel for having used the L word? Does it matter? What I'm getting at is the use of the word will depend on how much importance you put on it...and how much importance your friend puts on it. Also, remember, the person who uses it is the person who defines it. So, if you hear it, good idea to ask what he means. And, if you use it, might be a good idea to explain what you mean. Which, incidentally, suggests that you don't want to use the L word until you feel sufficiently comfortable in the relationship to explain just what you mean and to ask him just what he means. Good luck.

Answer 3

My boyfriend actually said it to me first.
and i kind of had to think about it before
i could even say it back. Trust me. You
know when the both of you love each other.
The best time to say it is when your ending
a phone conversation. just say "bye, i love
you." and then just hang up. leave him hanging,
he'll either call you back or ask you about it later...
or you could wait and see if he says it back...

Answer 4

Are we talking 'love' or 'lesbian' or maybe even 'lotsa lolly'? I couldn't give a rat's a$s about the first two, but if it's the latter, I'm yours!! ;-)