i have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. he has been emotionally and physically abusive in the past and bc of that i have cheated on him. i have told him the truth ( that i cheated) and he has forgiven me. he hasnt done anything bad to me in a long time and i really want to try to make it work between us. is there anything i can do to reassure him that i want this to be life long true and loyal. ?? if you have any advice let me know!
2007-01-21 12:20:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think i should clarify some things.... he was abusive 4 years ago. it hasnt happened in almost 5 years and we are past that bs. him and i both. we are truley tring to make this work. so if you have any genuwine advice i would appreciate it. thank you for your time.
2007-01-22 19:19:41 · update #1
uhhh same exact boat as you. my man has had his issues in the past and i always just go out and cheat....it always made me feel better. what worked for me is to break up with him for as long as it takes for him to be able to sincerely promise never to hurt you again and you sincerely promise the same about your cheating. If he cant do this (or if he says he will but hurts you again) leave him. If you sleep with someone again...he should leave you. There is a breaking point for both of you where youll never get trust back. I hope you havent hit that point yet hun. Me and my man have been together now for 4 yrs and we are doing excellent. i hope this works for you too. =]
2007-01-21 12:27:09 · answer #1 · answered by amie s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel i have been there and let me tell you a few things about it.Nothing you ever do or say will prob be good enough for this man.You are prob or will be always on guard wondering if the things you have done are right he constantly puts you down tells you that you are good for nothing and no one will ever want you should you think of leaving him.Am i right in at least some of it it only gets worse and more than likly wont get better.The only thing you can really do is to leave him or just break up if you dont live together and be careful about it.Get help there are shelters for battered women all over just look in phone book if you need to go.they will help you get back on your feet and provide you with counseling also.you dont deserve to be treated this way Don't put up with it take charge take your life back
2007-01-21 12:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by Leveler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this, but you yourself said that he is physically and emotionally abusive. And you still stick with him? This I will never understand. You need to get out of the relationship.. forget about the fact that he HASN'T done anything bad in a long time, but the fact that he can and probably WILL do something to you in the future!! You really should NOT stay in that kind of relationship!!!
2007-01-21 12:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by knifelvr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to get out of the relationship ASAP....you both have some problems to resolve and without them being settled, you two are just on a vicious cycle...just because he hasn't done anything in a while...doesn't mean he won't....it just means that hes closer to his breaking point and at this point...you never know where he might stop....you two could get relationship counciling, you could stop seeing each other and see other people for a while....but somehow or another.....the cheating and the abuse needs to stop GOOD LUCK ill be praying for you =)
2007-01-21 12:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by Colie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cheeta doesn't change his spots. You're boyfriend WILL abuse you again. Wheter it's today or 10 years down the road. Get out now while you're still strong enough to.
2007-01-21 12:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by MichelleLynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being emotionally abused for five years is unacceptable, some advice is get out of this relationship. he should not be treating you that way, and you want to make it up to him?! wow...he deserves a kick in the ***
2007-01-21 12:24:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has been abusive he has no claim on you. He should be reported to the police. Don't try to make up to someone like that, no matter how much it hurts.
2007-01-21 12:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by martinlh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you both need help!! I really don't believe that either one of you can handle a true relationship without all the drama and you will never last !!
2007-01-21 12:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by The_Game 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that u want it to be right. No more cheating and him not beating u at all. Then let him know that u love him with all of ur heart and that u are sorry for cheating on him.
2007-01-21 12:24:49 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You cant say you want a life long loyal relationship for sure....he probably knows this.
2007-01-21 12:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by Emily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋