My son will be 3 March 1. He is going thru what I hope is a phase. If he gets in trouble he spits -- if he gets really mad he spits a lot. If you pick him up he spits on you. If he goes in time out he spits there. Etc. It is gross, plus he was vomiting earlier this week, then spitting in my face. Gross. I am not sure if ignoring it is the best, or him getting in trouble for it when he is already in trouble.
He is very hard headed, wants what he wants, when he wants it. Doesn't get it, but doesn't learn just gets mad. Then spits -- or throws himself around shouting "I don't like you".
I try hard to spend quality time with him, hold him a lot, snuggle, read.....etc. I work part time, but have a LOT of time with him -- and right now I am just going crazy with him.
It is frustrating. Suggestions??
2007-01-21 12:19:12 · 10 answers · asked by Beth M 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He does not have any favorite toys to take away. He just likes to roam the house -- he likes to be outside, run, ride his trike, but I have severe allergies so we can't go out that often.
And, I often state consequences to him, if you _______ again you will get __________ (time out, spank, etc). Then I make him repeat that to me.....but he is defiant anyway.
2007-01-21 12:45:38 · update #1
Please don’t put hot sauce in his mouth or spit back! Putting hot sauce in his mouth will only teach him that you can hurt him and spitting back will only reinforce that spitting is okay. When disciplining children, using logical and natural consequence work best. Taking away a toy if he spits is not logical. Taking away a toy if he is destructive with it is logical. A natural consequence for him spitting would be to give him a place to spit. When he spits, take him gently to the bathroom and point to the toilet or sink. Say to him “If you need to spit you can spit here. When you are finished spitting you can come out.” Give it no more attention than that.
He is feeling powerful when he hits (and spits). He is also doing this to get a reaction from you. The best thing to do when he does hit you is to say “Ouch! That hurts! If you are choosing to hurt me I don’t want to play with you.” Walk away from him or put him in an area away from you and say, “When you are ready to be gentle then we can be together.” “When he is gentle with you, tell him “I like to play with you when you don’t hurt me.” Be consistent!
Help him to feel powerful by saying things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You can run super fast! You used so many colors on that picture! You did that by yourself!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.
I would also empathize with him after a hitting incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you hit me. What can you do next time instead?" Do some problem solving with him to give him some ideas. He will learn to express his feelings rather than hit. Hope this helps!
2007-01-22 10:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey there. I have a 7yr old step-son that I've been around since he's been 2 1/2. Same treatment, but he use to say you're not my mom... I thought i was gonna pull everyhair on my head out.... Me no kids,I'm 23, now i have a 2 1/2 year old that spits and flip totally out when he can't get his way.. Will its not the attention he wants... its the discipline he needs...I understand he's only 2 1/2 but he has to now and understand when you put your foot down..My guy mother makes it hard for me to try to be the mother figure.. Tells me not to yell or spank him but hay ... He's here with me on daily bases..I told her if she think i was just gonna let him talk to me any kind of way or do the things he do to you .. she had mixed up. look I don't know how much help i can be,but you put your foot down early you won't have it so hard later on. like i said I've been in his life going on 5yrs...he use to do those things..he know who he can get over on and who will get in his butt when needed.
2007-01-21 12:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by skinnyhowell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is gross, but try spitting back in his face. I had to do it with my son. And when he gets mad and throws himself down, walk away. Ignoring is best because he is getting a reaction from you and that is what he wants. And when he is done with his temper tantrum, make "him" clean up all his spit. When he says he doesnt like you look at him and say but I love you.
2007-01-21 13:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by themom95 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
#1 rule is to be consistant with your punishments...if you change punishments or tell him this with happen when you do this and you dont follow through "god help you" because he will know that he can get away with anything.
#2 my children hate time out...but it works! I ignore them while they are sitting in there spot. There time dosnt start till they are quiet. Then I set a timer so they know when they can get up (so they dont think I'm jipping them on there time)
#3 after they get up tell them you demand an appoligy for what ever they did and make him tell you what he was doing wrong to get in trouble, so he knows.
then hug and hopefully be done with it till next time
hope this works =)
2007-01-21 12:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by mini_may04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you have heard this before, but he is getting some response from his behavior that is reinforcing his behavior, I do not know what you are doing, but you have to try a different approach, you must never give in and do what he wants or show him attention when he is bad (just a short punishment, time out) d
2007-01-21 12:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my son! He used to put his knees on the toilet and then just sort of lean over and let his little penis hang and that is how he would pee. I blame it on me potty training him alone and not having a male influence around at the time. But all i did was have him stand and sink cheerios in the toilet, worked the first time!
2016-05-24 09:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you've tried it or not but try taking away his favorite toy or toys when he does it and let him know that's why he can't have it for a day, week, whatever time limit you decide.
2007-01-21 12:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, either don't make him mad, or tell him not to do it again, if he does, make him face the consequences.
2007-01-21 12:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may sound a little harsh, but try hot sauce, i used a tiny dab, like from a taco bell pkt, it stopped immiatly.
2007-01-21 13:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tear his a** up.Spare the rod spoil the child.What will you do when he gets bigger than you?
2007-01-21 12:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jim C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋