takes your money,car,burned your house,killed your credit, but you can not find the words that will help them. so you leave them alone hoping that one day they will get mad enough to make a stand - but mean while you leave them alone because they are getting you upset.
2007-01-21 12:03:36 · 9 answers · asked by newlife 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It has to be their own decision. Just be there to stand beside them when they finally do get ready to stand tall against this force! Hopefully they will do it sooner than later! Pray for them. That's about all you can do for now.
2007-01-21 12:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Sweetmusic ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't sound like 'use'...it sounds like 'abuse'. it's easy to get burn out on standing by a friend that's not ready to leave.
give them a couple of self-help books and take a step back.
that person may need you as a support system at some time in the future, but right now you may not be able to do much more. anytime something is said to you about the relationship, say something about therapy and ask have they read the books you gave them yet.
it's a tough line to walk...being supportive vs. enabler. sometimes ppl look to bandaid solutions by just venting to a friend instead of getting help. try reading a book 'co-dependent no more' by melanie beatty to help you see more clearly about that type of cycle.
2007-01-21 12:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by ... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you find a way to tell them what you feel. I mean you could start with a simple question as "Are you happy?" Most people will get where you're going from that and immediately let you know if they want to talk or wants you to back off. In either case, you do just that.
2007-01-21 12:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by Heaven's Messenger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow---been there.
You HAVE to stand back.
Doesn't that SUCK?
I had a friend whose husband beat the CRAP out of her--sent her to the hospital--knocking teeth out--busting her head--and more.
She STAYED WITH HIM FOREVER it seemed.
I kept her on my prayer list.
One day, I had TOTALLY forgotten about her. I was letting her live her life--THEN!!! ONE DAY a person I BARELY recognized
walked up to me and said,'HI!" I didn't even know who she was.
She said her name and she said ,"I've been saved!!"
Her countenance was SHINING! God helped her get out of that mess. She divorced her husband,of course. She even went through abusive BOYfriends!! Her self esteem doesn't get her stupid boyfriends like that any more.
She was saved AFTER all that crazy living.
ANYWAY--GOD WORKS MIRACLES!!
2007-01-21 12:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by bettyboop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MYOB is the right course of inaction, as soon as you denigrate teh offending mate as a user, you become the enemy of your friend, they will stick by the loser every time...
2007-01-21 12:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say nothing unless asked. If asked, tell them no one has power over them unless they give consent.
2007-01-21 12:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell them to get lost!
2007-01-21 12:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by blaze 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a back bone and tell them to scram!
(Why are ppl such door mats??....Geez!)
2007-01-21 12:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You walk away & let them learn for themselves.
2007-01-21 12:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by Screamin' Banshee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋