When a girl is complaining about problems caused by being overweight, women are so quick to assure her that there is nothing wrong with being overweight--it's the rest of society that has the problem. I understand that blaming someone else for your problems makes you feel better, but that doesn't fix the problem. It is not society's fault that fat people are seen as unhealthy and unattractive. FAT IS UNHEALTHY!!!! And a key factor in attraction is good health. Whether you want to blame God or "survival of the fittest", we are not attracted to unhealthy people. It works the same for girls who are severely underweight. That is unhealthy and, therefore, unattractive! So when will we quit making excuses and start facing the facts? If someone is overweight she doesn't need to brainwash herself into believing she is hot anyway....she needs to change her bad habits and fix the problem! Lying to these girls will not help them!!!
2007-01-21 11:14:31 · 5 answers · asked by Cali Snow Queen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think the truth is harmful to their self-image. their self-image is already low or they wouldn't be posting ?'s here about it. Helping them understand that they have control over their own weight empowers them to make the changes necessary to gain self confidence. Give them a little credit!
2007-01-21 11:45:22 · update #1
Its interesting to see how these things change over time... As anyone who has studied art knows, there have certainly been periods where the more fat people were more attractive. When a society is looking for food, only the rich people have the opportunity to eat enough to get fat!
But in general, I agree that we are oversensitive on both sides of the issue - a) we make too big of a deal out of being in perfect shape for attractiveness, and b) we diminish the real problems of being overweight.
Also, I'm sure that some well-meaning people who saying these things are just worried that the girl they are talking to is going to become anerexic because she thinks she must be a twig before anyone will be attracted to her!
In general, I'm becomming a big proponent of truth, honesty, and telling people the facts without apology or excuses. There is a difficult tension between "telling it like it is" and treating people compassionately, but with the big picture in mind, the truth goes a long way towards keeping things working smoothly in society, and a little bit of "people-pleasing" masked as compassion can do much more harm than good.
Just my thoughts on this complex issue.
2007-01-21 11:26:20 · answer #1 · answered by insipid.enculturation 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so you are concerned for them or you just want to rant? Not sure! But I can tell you that even fat people are beautiful, maybe not healthy, but their is no sense in breaking someones self image and confidence because you don't like to look at them. Schools educate children on health. When they are grown they can make their own decision on how to take care of themselves. Overweight people know the risks and know that some of the discomforts they have are caused by their weight, any doctors would tell them that! Doctors also will tell their parents. You do not get to decide how someone should look, a woman can make that her decision herself. As for your view on "attractive" I think you are being a little shallow and non-compassionate. The next time you hear an overweight woman complain cause she can't get a date go ahead tell her it is because she is "fat and unhealthy, and unhealthy is unattractive, she needs to stop complaining and change her bad habits" See how that goes over.
2007-01-21 11:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by R♥bin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I work with a woman who is 5'5" and weighs 170 #. She's constantly fishing for compliments by mentioning that she is fat, waiting for somebody to disagree. Funny, it doesn't work anymore, conversation goes dead for a moment, everybody else is tired of dancing to her music.
We were all together on New Years and we all decided to work on things. Her diet never got started. The way I see it, she's aware she looks like mashed potatoes but would rather have everyone else deny it rather than doing anything difficult herself.
This is typical. I'm OK, you're OK, Let's convince ourselves society is the problem and that we don't have to change ourselves, everybody else needs to alter their view.
2007-01-21 11:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. ANd most overweight people complain about it like there is nothing to do about it. I always want to say get off your butt and watch what you eat. I agree with you..its unattractive and unhealthy buts it also preventable.
2007-01-21 11:22:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I forgot the question...I was eatting...
2007-01-21 11:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋