How can you get pass an family member who has betrayed you, I need help I can not get over it?

Question

My Mother passed way in 2005, an her only sister has take very thing from me and my girls.........the house, her money, all of it no my mother did not have an will i am a only child an she always told me that when she pass i would get it all.......... but when my mother was real sick her sister had her to sign an will so she could get it all form me

Answer 1

I question weather there is more to the story then what your telling us. Did or was your aunt the care taker of your mom for a long time? Didn't your mom ever discuss if she had a will or not. If this was done for the wrong reason's why have you not got a lawyer? Were you around and take any part in caring for your mom or were you just there wanting the assests when mom died. If that is not the case, get a lawyer....if it is the case...well, the world is full of people that come on the scene after the fact but never gave a helping hand before.

Answer 2

I hope this isn't about being greedy. You do realize that if it hadn't been for your aunt, there wouldn't have been anything to pass down as your mother would have likely ended up in a nursing home - which pretty much drains your assests. Then you would have been in the same situation and her quality of life would not have been the same as it had been with your aunt.

If you put it into that context you may be able to forgive your aunt.

You can, or course, go the legal route. You may be able to prove she wasn't in her sound mind. The things may be legally yours.

But is it morally yours?

What sacrifices did your aunt make to care for your mom and what role did you have in her care? Please take that into consderation.

Does your aunt have any place else to live? How long did she live there with your mom? Do you really want to throw your aunt out on the street?
Your aunt may feel angry towards you if she feels she had to bear a burden that perhaps should have been yours, or at least shared by you.

Perhaps a compromise would be to ask your aunt for a few special sentimental items for you to have and to pass down to your daughter. Jewlery, etc. And let her keep the house and car.

Perhaps you can go to a mediator, a compromise would be the house goes to you after her death. Or something that at least honors your aunt and what she did for your mom.

Answer 3

I had a similar situation when my husband emotionally mistreated me for many years and when I had a nervous breakdown over it and finally left, he kept the house my mother had bought for me, almost all the furniture which he physically and psychologically manipulated from me but especially one piece of furniture-a teacup chest that was a special symbol of the bond between my mother and I and she had promised to me. It haunted me for years but I finally realized that was what he wanted. He was still exerting power over me by my letting it bother me so I let it go and now I will get my own and give it to my daughter. If you don't let it go, it will haunt your thoughts and attitude and bring you down. It sounds like your aunt is just very selfish and won't change. I don't believe in cutting people off but accepting them as they are. You can have a relationship with her but it probably will never be a close one. Meanwhile, try making a will out for yourself and then set goals to move ahead. Try to never let what another person does affect you for people will always fail you in some way at some point - some more than others. Your character is how you handle it. So stand up and move ahead. Be what your mother would want you to be. Good luck!

Answer 4

What this aunt of yours did may very well have been legal, even if not what your mother would have wanted. Check with a good lawyer to see what your recourse's could be. But first ask yourself: "do I want some things to remember mom by, or am I after her wealth?" Do you miss your mother or her "stuff" more?

As far as your relationship with the greedy aunt...why would you WANT to remain in her social circle? Are you planning to attend mutual family gatherings, and must find a way to deal with her, or is it something deeper? At any rate, there are ways to deal with stuff like that, if you get advise from someone more familiar with the whole story, from both sides.

Answer 5

The best way to get over something like this is to just forgive your aunt and move on with your life.

If you forgive someone (even if they don't deserve your forgiveness) and do this without expecting anything in return you will be able to release the negative energy that is inside your soul and move on with your life.

Something good will come your way. I feel sorry for your Aunt. She is obviously a selfish person who is probably living an empty life and no good will come to her of this.

Money and possesions are not everything. Love your girls and let them learn from this that you are the better person. You are above and beyond material wealth and that's what life is all about.

Answer 6

That's a terrible betrayal. You should probably have nothing more to do with this woman. She is not a good person, and she doesn't care about you at all. But you need to move on and try not to think about her. Anger and upsetment will only add stress to your life, and you need to be happy and positive for your daughters. Take a deep breath and try to put your mind at ease. Take solace in the fact that you loved your mother and have not done anything to hurt anyone.

Answer 7

well you may have a legal case against her for one IF you can prove your mom was coerced due to sickness into signing that paper.. you would end up going into a nasty probate court though.......

most importently you should confront her and tell her how it makes you feel and the effect it has on yu and your family , normally confrontion alone will make you feel better... then you need to kill her with kindness and move on and remember good, bad or indifferent tha she is your aunt and your mother would prob not want a riff between you to. when you confront her make sure you use "I feel, and I think" not you did this and you did that... its ok to state your feelings and thoughts but do not accuse or bash otherwise you will do permenent damage.

Answer 8

you are the next of kin not the sister. so you go to probate court and prove you were her daughter and get what should go to you and the children good luck