How can I control my temper?

Question

I have a horrible temper and I need to control it. Please note that I will NOT take pills for it those are harmful they don't work on me and nither does anger managemant and counting to 10 makes me even angrier! How can I control it??????

Answer 1

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Meditate or go to a hypnotherapist or take a warm bath in lavender... those all might help :-)

Answer 2

Have you questioned why you are so angry and where does the anger come from? There is a book that springs to mind called "The dance of anger" by Harriet Lerner PhD. The book is about finding where the anger is coming from within relationships such as: mother - daughter, brother - sister, father - mother etc and learning to recognise anger as a signal. You can actually use it (in the right way) for creating change in your life. Besides, if you are angry perhaps sitting alone and reading will do you some good. Especially if those around you are getting on your nerves. Use it as an avenue to change - it ain't working for you so far! *smiles*

Answer 3

Are you angry at people or at things? If the problem is people... you could stay away from them for the rest of your life---or you could learn to deal with the real cause of your anger. Did you learn how to deal with your problems as a child by watching your parents get angry? Then perhaps you need to learn new ways of coping your feelings. Channeling your anger into healthy outlets, where you take your mind of yourself and help others instead might help. Sometimes unlearning behaviour patterns is not always easy. But when we realized we learn wrong in the first place, and our desire to mature and get alone with others helps us change. Anger is usually one of two things... either an immature response to not getting our own way.... or a guilt response to something we know we are doing wrong in the first place. You may be angriest at yourself....and taking it out on everyone else around you. If that is the case, forgive yourself, grow up, let the Love of God fill you and help you be a better person. He forgives you...if you repent. I suggest you see a pastor.

Answer 4

hello there. I just came across this question and answer thing in yahoo. first time im browsing them.

I just have a story about getting bad temper...Hope this helps, atleast a reminder for every1 too!

There was a boy who was always losing his temper. His father gave him a bag full of nails and said to him, “My son, I want you to hammer a nail into our garden fence every time you need to direct your anger against something and you lose your temper.”

So the son started to follow his father’s advice. On the first day he hammered in 37 nails, but getting the nails into the fence was not easy, so he started trying to control himself when he got angry. As the days went by, he was hammering in less nails, and within weeks he was able to control himself and was able to refrain from getting angry and from hammering nails. He came to his father and told him what he had achieved. His father was happy with his efforts and said to him: “But now, my son, you have to take out a nail for every day that you do not get angry.”

The son started to take out the nails for each day that he did not get angry, until there were no nails left in the fence.

He came to his father and told him what he had achieved. His father took him to the fence and said, “My son, you have done well, but look at these holes in the fence. This fence will never be the same again.” Then he added: “When you say things in a state of anger, they leave marks like these holes on the hearts of others. You can stab a person and withdraw the knife but it doesn’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry,’ because the wound will remain.


Helping bad temper are as follow:
- seeking refuse in GOD from the devil
- Keep silent: This is because in most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter words to hurt anyone which will cause separation wid them and also they lost respect for you.
-The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger:

If the angry person could see himself in the mirror when he is angry, he would hate himself and the way he looks. If he could see the way he changes, and the way his body and limbs shake, how his eyes glare and how out of control and crazy his behaviour is, he would despise himself and be revolted by his own appearance. It is well-known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness....

I dont think about going tro on anger management nor medication will solve the problem. ITs putting ur mind to it....coz its all about UUU!

Answer 5

the way to control your anger might be you need to calm down yourself first. Take a cold shower before bed and go to the gym to workout. It can help you relax and reduce stress

Answer 6

The best thing to do would be... when you fell your temper rising, just relax and take 5 deep breaths. If that dousn't work. Just exuse yourself and get some time alone

Answer 7

Learn to meditate, which will lead you to what has caused this anger. For awhile, I used to punch pillows or something similar to release my pent-up frustration. If you're 'stuffing,' and not expressing your resentment(s), you will feel angry over the slightest thing.

Answer 8

Swami Sukhabodhananda
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Can there be harmony in conflict? By approaching conflict in harmony, you can resolve it. And harmony comes with an attitude of wonderment and open-mindedness. Buddha took a flower and looked at his students silently.

He asked them to respond. Each student interpreted it according to his own philosophy. Mahakashap got up and smiled. Buddha gave the flower to him and said, "You have interpreted it correctly".

In his smile every cell of his being was in a state of wonder. In every moment of our life why can't we see with totality and not in a partial way? Just by looking at things with appreciation, we can avoid conflict altogether.

What is the essence of the Bhagavad Gita? The Gita teaches us the art of being total. Use your actions in an attitude of karma yoga, use your feelings in devotion in bhakti yoga, use your intellect for right understanding in jnana yoga and use your being in silence in dhyana yoga.

When there is conflict we tend to counter it with conflict. War is conflict and Gita presents a harmony that could lead to inner tuning. The Gita's message is: "Create harmony in conflict".

In the art of archery, "losing the arrow" is the most important aspect... Archery is only a preparation for the final "let go" of the arrow. Similarly, in life it is the "let go" of the ego which is most important.

Like in archery the anxiety to hit the shot dilutes and pollutes one's effort to hit the target. In life the anxiety to reach one's goals ravages one's life.

In the context of war the value of spiritual lessons is more, as one experiences tension... In martial art if someone twists your wrist and if you resist it, you may break your wrist.

But if you go with the flow rather than go against the flow, you are in a state of harmony. As you go with the flow then you counter-attack your opponent in the flow. This is creating harmony in conflict.

Most difficulties in dealing with conflict arises out of stress and tension. When you are in great tension, don't fight with it, just flow with it and then see the cause of the tension and handle it.

You see, there is a sharp distinction between worrying and worrying effectively. I feel like a sheep and I want to be strong. Has the Gita got something to say about this? Arjuna wanted to leave the battlefield.

Krishna tells Arjuna to face life and not run away from the conflict. Our conflicts exist because of our unconscious. Our prison habits created by the unconscious is making us live like sheep.

A lion lives alone and has the courage to face the dangers of life. A sheep lives in a crowd and has an illusion that the crowd will protect it. The sheep represents a part of our society and the lion represents our pure inner state.

The Bhagavad Gita helps us to tune to our inner pure state and denounce the illusion of security. Life is insecure, so face it courageously, says the Gita.

Clarity, courage and wisdom are true security. Learn to draw energy from that state and not from illusion. Then you will see the difference.

Answer 9

surrender. allow yourself to be angry. feel it to the fullest. dont judge or condemn it. dont act on it. or try to stop it. just experience it. ....it will fall away. because it is not natural.

Answer 10

Drink more alcohol.