i am 13 and my mom won't let me find my dad?

Question

it's not fair! i know she's brought me up and stuff, and i'm grateful but i want to know my dad.

they divorced when i was 6 and my dad was allowed to see me as much as he wanted, but my mom kept avoiding it, he kept trying but then stopped. i know he loved me, he was a great dad and i miss him so much and my mom is horrible, she NEVER shows me any love and i know she loves my step brother more than me but my step dad is really lovely! that's the good side of it....

i tried talking to her about it and she just shouted at me and told me it's not fair on her and that i shuold show more respect.....i want to find him!

help me! do i not have childrens rights or something? anyway, even if he doesn't want to know atleast i've tried

well i guess i'm being silly when i say she loves my step bro more, i gues sshe does. she just holds her rag with her cause she knows there's nothing she can do.

doesn't******

Answer 1

Wait until you are 18, then she cannot stop you

Answer 2

That is awful that your mom has denied you seeing your dad. She must dislike him a lot to hurt him through you. Has your dad paid child support over the years? Does your mom have total legal custody of you and is it at her discretion or the courts as to how often and when he sees you? I know these are a lot of questions for someone so young but you need answers to understand why she is doing this. Perhaps you could talk to your step-dad and see what he knows or what he can find out for you. The two of you go for a walk or something alone and discuss your feelings. Tell him you love and respect him but it is bothering you not knowing where your birth dad is. You do have rights but it depends on what is the real truth about your dad and mom and what the court decided. You can contact a child's advocate and see if someone can assist you pro bono (free). Try the web or your local phone book and good luck. I hope you find him.

Answer 3

Sarah it must hard not knowing your dad but your mom im sure has her reasons you never know she may be protecting you or herself from some kind of harm or some other reason did you ask your mom why you cant find him? whatever the reason theres nothing anyone can do or say about it when your a legal adult you might just have to wait till then i,m sorry for that but right now the only rights children have in a legal point is to not be harmed or abused. Good luck dear Sarah and whatever you do always be respectful of your mother God and Jesus would want you to.

Answer 4

It is possible your mom has a legitimate reason why she doesn't want you to see your dad. Although it seems like your mom is only being spiteful there could be more sides to this story. I agree that you have a right to find your father and talk to him, but it won't be easy given your age. If your father has relatives close by try getting in contact with them first and that way the two of you can meet one day. Best of luck to you, I know this isn't easy I went through it myself.

Answer 5

You were a child when your father left so you don't know the full story. There may be things that happend in the past between your parents which makes your mum react the way she does.

You say that you like your stepfather. Try and get some time alone with him and explain to him that you love your family, including him, but you have a need to know your birth father. I am sure that he will understand and support your quest.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Ask your mother why she feels that you shouldn't find your father, why does she feel it's not fair on her, there may be very good reasons, but try to ask without complaining. I had a similar experience growing up and didn't get to met my father until I was 25, I'm glad I did it as he died a week later from asbestos related disease, although I harbour some resentment for my mother not allowing me to earlier. It is a choice I did not make for my child, she has made her own decision with regard to her father but I allowed her the right to know him and keep in contact with him.

Answer 7

you have to remember that your dad has rights too and just because your mom told him "no" doesn't mean he had to settle for that. He could have gone through the court system and she wouldn't have been allowed to say no. BUT I think your mom probably knows best....maybe ask your step dad to talk with her since you get along well. maybe he can explain to her that you jsut need some questions answered and maybe she can help you through that. i know it is unfortunate that you just dont know what's going on, my advice would be to trust in her and wait until your 18. best of luck

Answer 8

Well next time, don't tell her anything. Don't ask her anymore.
Just search for him in secret. Ask close relatives and friends
who may know him in person.... and if you think he is in your
town, then look in the phone book and check and see if his name
and address are in the phone book or something.
Or look in through the Internet background check and if you
know his birthdate, then filled in and search for him.
Ask Social Security Administration, ask Child Support Center, they sometimes give out a little info about him.
Go to the Police and see if he got any traffic tickets or criminal history... or something...

If no luck, then ask your mom again, why she doesn't want you
to look for your father? Why she is so unfair? Ask her if he is on drugs or bad thing happen to him that she doesn't want you to
know.

And if she still says no, then do whatever to tick her off to make
her tell you. Like um, "I won't study and I will skipped school
everyday until you tell me where is my father."

Answer 9

I know she wants to protect you and do what she thinks is right. Try to see it her way too. But I also see it that you have a right to know who your dad is. Try to talk to her about it, in a calm way. That is what my daughter did with me. She finally came to realize what I was talking about. If talking to her by yourself doesn't help, then try to talk to her with someone that is neutral. Like a grandmother or a guidance counselor. I am not sure how long it has been since you have seen your dad, but I would say go at it slow. Things will work out.

Answer 10

until you are 18 you can't really do anything unless you happen to come across him say from a google search. sounds like she is hiding something, like some truth, and she doesn't want to deal or face it herself.

my parents divorced when I was 5, I lived with mom till 5th grade and was fed lies and beliefs the entire time I lived with her on how bad dad was. 5th grade I moved in with dad and stayed till I graduated hs.....90% of the stuff she told me was lies.

Remember parents are not super heros or people who wear capes....they are just humans that have fights and relationships like everyone else.

If I was you I would go digging on your own, you have the internet, everything is on it, just a matter of finding it. Put in his name, full name, inside quotes, try putting the town name with it, in separate quotes, try looking up in phone books online for an address or phone number. If you know the business he works for or the field he is in, put that info in as part of the search. With time you can track down anything or anyone.

Good luck...don't hate your mom but be weary of why she is hiding 1/2 of your life from you. As it is your biological right to know both sides of your history, for personal and medical reasons.

Answer 11

Well, if your parents divorced there is a reason for it. At your age your dad should try to contact you. There is a reason behind your moms madness I am sure. If your dad has no legal visitation of you,and is legally not allowed to see you have to wait until you are 18 to see him. Ask if you can call.