parents can you help me with this bedtime question?

Question

i'm divorced and share custody of my 7yr old daughter sara with my exwife.sara comes over every other weekend friday-sunday to my house that i share with my gf.during the week sara goes to bed around 8pm but when she comes over to our house on the weekend she stays up till 12 or 1am.i don't keep her up this late on purpuse or its not like i fall asleep and forget about her.i only get to see her ever other weekend so we stay up playing games or watching movies.my gf feels this is to late and that even if it is a weekend and she does not have to get up for school she should go to bed around the same time everyday.so parents in this situation is it bad that a let my 7yr old stay up so late ever other weekend?

Answer 1

Like you said, it's not like she has to be at school the next morning or anything so I think it's fine if she stays up later than usual on weekends.

However, up until 12 or 1 in the morning is very late. Maybe not for you, but for a 7 yr. old it is. Even if she doesn't act tired, she probably is.

Up until 10 or 11 would be fine by me on weekends, but until 12 or 1 is really too late for such a young child.

If you feel like you should stay up with her until then since you don't see her that much, see if her mom can have her take a nap before she comes over so she won't be as tired at night.

Answer 2

honestly as long as the babys mom dont make a fuss bout it i dont see the problem. I help raise my 6 year old brother. I dont get home till 9 at nite most nite hes bed time is 930 and on the weekends 1130 or if he takes a nap he can stay up till he gets sleepy. He doesnt have problem with sleep and we always make sure hes in bed a little earlier on sunday nite. like 830 just to make sure hes not to wore out from the weekend but it never seems to really bother him too much. I think its all up to you. No one can tell you how to be a parent and as long as the childl doesnt suffer for it i think its fine!

Answer 3

well i am not a parent or anything but i am a kid so i can help i am 12. going to bed around 1 for a 7yr old? thats pretty late. on weekdays i d put her to bed at 8 thats good time. on fridays put her down at 10 at latest becuase she had school that day and she will be tired. saturday put her down at 11-12 and shell be good and then at 10 again on sunday because sunday is a school night. this way she wont be so tired because if she is too tired it causes problems. work things out with your ex see if you can see her after school somedays

Answer 4

You sound like a good father. I am an evening person myself. I allow my kids to stay up late on Fridays and Saturdays, but I make them get up early on Sunday so that they will go to bed early that day and get back on the Monday- Thursday cycle. I am a mother of two and I live with their father, so this works for us. As long as the activities are appropriate, I don't see how the time of day should be of concern to your girlfriend, provided you make the effort to get her back on schedule by Sunday. Your daughter is still very young - mine are older. You might want to get her to bed by 11 pm since it would place her in a better mood when you wake her up early on Sunday -

Answer 5

Children at that age need 10 - 12 hours of sleep a night to keep up with their ever-growing bodies. Staying up until midnight - 1:00a.m. for a seven year old is WAY too late. She does it at your home because she knows that she can get away with it, or she's just having a wonderful time visiting with you and your girlfriend; however, she needs to go to bed at the SAME time nightly. I agree with the very first answer...her Mom must have a terrible time getting her to bed on school nights, especially Monday and Tuesday. Your daughter, too, must be irritable in school on those days and have difficulty concentrating due to fatigue.

Answer 6

Does your girlfriend have children? I'm sure many parent's do bedtime many different ways. Considering it's a weekend and not only do you need to see your daughter but your daughter NEEDS to see you and spend special time with you. Even if she can sense a desire to see her and spend time with her, makes all the difference in the world and I would not sacrifice this precious time to anything, no matter what a "girlfriend" says. Your her father and you know what's best for your child. Trust your instincts and spend that time with your girl. I would truly resent anyone telling me that considering how little of her life you get to share, that they are going to take away that time as well. Perhaps your girlfriend is JEALOUS of the special relationship you have with your daughter. As the grown child of divorced parents who did the every other weekend thing....IF I ONLY had a father who did that with me I would have been so much better off. At least I would have known my father cared. As it is, I have no relationship with my real dad and it breaks my heart. Please don't give your relationship over to a girlfriend who you haven't even committed to in marriage. Trust your instincts.

Answer 7

To help her with the change of living in two separate homes, consistancy is vital. Keeping the same rules in both homes is the healthiest plan for her. Maybe on non-school nights, let her stay up until about 10, but on Sunday night when she has school the next day, enforce her normal bedtime. She needs sleep in order to function properly at school, especially because she is so young!

Answer 8

If you want to have that special time with her maybe and hour or two, but 12 or 1 is just way to late for a 7 year old. You are already teaching her that there is no order in your household. Children of all ages need consistancy even teens.

Answer 9

The quick answer is yes.
Children need routines, especially concerning bedtimes. Letting a child stay up until 12 or one will throw off their routine and usually make them cranky. Why not go to bed early and then get up at her regular time? That way you would be spending the same amount of time together.

Answer 10

You can let her stay up till 9:00p.m., but you need to understand that she is used to going to bed during the week at 8:00pm. She gets off schedule from staying up late, and on Sunday night she will not be able to go to bed and fall asleep as she usually does on school nights. That means she is going to school very tired on Monday, and it will take her until Wednesday to be get able to get into the habit of going to bed on time and getting enough sleep. She is not able to do her best at school from not getting proper rest. I realize that this is very hard for you since you are wanting to spend as much time with her a possible, but think about her health, as this can be very hard on her physically and mentally. It can cause her immunity to not fight off an illness, and she actually can gain weight from not having enough deep sleep, and her school work can suffer.