parents can you help me with this bedtime question?

Question

i'm divorced and share custody of my 7yr old daughter sara with my exwife.sara comes over every other weekend friday-sunday to my house that i share with my gf.during the week sara goes to bed around 8pm but when she comes over to our house on the weekend she stays up till 12 or 1am.i don't keep her up this late on purpuse or its not like i fall asleep and forget about her.i only get to see her ever other weekend so we stay up playing games or watching movies.my gf feels this is to late and that even if it is a weekend and she does not have to get up for school she should go to bed around the same time everyday.so parents in this situation is it bad that a let my 7yr old stay up so late ever other weekend?

Answer 1

If she was a teenager I would say this is okay, but she is too young to stay up so late every weekend. Kids her age need 9- 10 hours of sleep to stay healthy and staying up past 10 pm isn't good for her. I would stay 10 pm is the proper bedtime on weekends and 8:30-9 on weekdays.

Answer 2

I think you should make a compromise with your gf. She is obviously wanting time with you as well, and your daughter does ake away from that when she is there. This in no way should affect your daughter, and in the end you are the father of this child. Your gf is going to have some input, but for the most part you have got to do what you think is best for your daughter.

The compromise would be that every other time she comes she can stay up a bit late. Children do need more rest, and this make make it hard on your ex when she gets home because then getting up monday morning is going to be very tiring.

I do understand you plight though and I can understand your need to play games and what have you. It is not easy being where you are at right now. So in the end do what you think is best, but do try to weigh the consiquences. In the long run is this good for those kinds of things.

Answer 3

I think that if you want to modify her time on one night that would be fine. I think letting her stay up on Friday would be a good choice you can get some extra time with her, yet not make her extremely tired by Sunday.
On Saturday I see no reason why she couldn't be up till say 9:30. but then bed.
Letting her stay up till all hours on weekends really does effect how they can function the rest of the week etc.
At that age sleep is very important as you probably know. There growing and their brains go a nile a minute..they need that down time to refresh, and take a mental break.
BTW...Good Job about spending time with her.

Answer 4

I think 12 or 1am is a little late....During the week I am guessing your daughters schedule calls for her to go to bed earlier so she can be up earlier for school.....I am sure she love staying up later on the weekends but an hour later than normal is probably plenty for her.....she's only 7 and her body needs to rest......I have kids myself and mine get up early on the weekends no matter what time they go to bed...........I am sure the term quality not quantity counts here just as much as anywhere else.....I am sure Sara would love to spend quality time with you where she's not half dead from exhaustion....and you can play those same games and watch movies just as easily in the mornings as you can at midnight and 1am

Answer 5

I'm a mother with a 7 yr old son and his dad lets him stay up later on the weekends he's with him, BUT only on FRiday night. SO on Sat he gets him to bed on time, which helps with the whole Monday morning school routine. So I'd say alittle compromise will work. Good Luck

Answer 6

Bad idea, they really need to stay as close to routine as possible. Plus this may be teaching her later in life that daddy's rules are different than mommy's and play that to her advantage.
I understand you only see her on the weekends, but surely by her sitting up so late, she's sleeping later than she would if she went to bed at a decent hour. I would think putting her to bed on time would even out by her waking up earlier--it would probably equal the same amount of quality time together.

Answer 7

Not really but 12/1 is a bit too late. Just because it might make her cranky for her mom, etc. Perhaps a middle ground - let her stay up until 11:00 - but no later. And if her mom ever complains about her being "too tired" you'll have to put her to bed a littler earlier. But enjoy the special time. Just please make sure she understands that it isn't because you are the cool parent, but because you don't get to see her everyday.

My 3 y.o. & 6 y.o. stay up late whenever they go to grandma's house.

As long as the lack of sleep doesn't affect her and her behavior for her mom and she doesn't get so behind on sleep she is tired, enjoy the time with her.

Answer 8

Yes. I agree w/ your girlfriend. 12 and 1 am is definitely to late for that age. It's totally understandable that you miss her want to spend as much time as possible, but it's going to create problems down the line. My mom allowed us to say up on the weekends as late as we wanted when I was a child. How as an adult I have problems going to bed at normal time. You and your ex need to get on the same page as far as bed time on weekends are concerned. What she does with you, she will want to do when it's her mother's weekend. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

I got the same situration just i'm the mom all week and my 7 year old does that at his dads. it is hard on there bodies cause they get overly tired then drag on monday at school. I know you want to spend all the time with your child but I would make it earlier try putting her in bed at 10 or 11 then read to her til she falls asleep. that way you still have your time with her but yet her body will let u know when it needs rest too. or you could believe me a lot of ppl will disagree on this one but it helps when you feel u dont got enough time. comunication is a strong point in your childs life so tuck her in turn off lights then lay fully clothed and lay beside her on the blanket not under it and have small talk then when her body says sleep time get up and go out same as with a story. things can get hectic at my house and i was having a hard time finding quiet quality time with each of my kids so it got to be later and later falling asleep for them so thats what i do 1/2 hour before bedtime i read stories to my son hes out by 830 my daughter watches tv til i'm done with him and then i do it with her shes out by 930 but it gives me quality time with them and yet a good bed time.

Answer 10

I would say late nights at this age is not a good idea..Maybe you could aim at ten o clock since you dont get to see herexcept at weekends.I allow my daughter to stay up until very late during the holidays.She is 12 but come school terms its early.