2 year old in rages?

Question

At bedtime my son has the worst temper tantrums I've ever seen. I had problems with my daughter at this age...but this is more than I can handle. He hits & kicks me; the walls; the door. Screams like I'm beating him. Begs and pleads for me to let him out of his room. I DON"T LET HIM OUT. I won't allow him to win this battle. Bed time is bed time and I will stand at the door and actually hold it closed and play tug -o-war with it for about 10 min. each night until he realizes hes' not coming out.I really hate doing that. He hasn't won any of our battles yet. He'll scream and scream but he never leaves the room and eventually tires himself out. I understand that his daddy has been away for awhile now (military) and we just got rid of the bubba and binky. I'm sure he just needs to learn how to soothe himself on his own (without the aid of bubbas and binkys) Any suggestions on how to curb this rage every night? Other than not letting him win....How can I teach him to sooth himself?

we do have a routine. kids are in one of the rooms having"quiet play" at about 7pm. from that time on no toys and no loud voices. Daughter is older so she will sit i her room while I put my son to bed. Its the rage thats getting to me. The screaming and kicking and hitting. I can get him calm and then he'll blast off again.

I have been picking him up putting him back to bed...the problem with this is...hes' already in full fledge screaming. He starts the minute I get up to leave the room and chases me to the door. which is why I need to close it on him and hold it shut. I can't even make it to the living room. I tried this on my daughter 3 years ago and this worked like a charm...can't figure out this one though.

To Miss Marylin E....I am NOT comparing the two as if he should be exactly like his sister. I am NOT trying to make things more difficult for my son to go to sleep. (which in turn makes MY night more difficult) I wasn't PLANNING on taking his binky away from him. I WANTED to wait till daddy got home. HOWEVER miss nasty attitude...he has teeth. he bites through the plastic nipple creating tears and holes and for his SAFETY SAKE I HAD to get rid of them out of fear he would choke on the plastic if the plastic had fallen off during the night while in his mouth! SO there goes your pathetic attempt at making me look like a horrible mother! I DON"T treat my kids badly so in your second attempt at making me look like a horrible mother becasue I had SMALL bedtime issues (WHICH EVERYONE HAS) with my daughter is also a failure. I ONLY got rid of his bubba because of tooth decay and because he is 2! NOT a baby. A toddler. SO....MISS MARYLIN E the greatest mom and grandmother on earth....suck it

Answer 1

Sounds like he is stressed out. Maybe too scared to go to sleep? you mentioned that you husband is in the military...does he know what is going on? Does he think his daddy isn't coming back? Did you take the binkys and bubbas away from him during this time? Sounds like you are doing too much. How long has he been away from his binky and bubba? Why don't you lay down and read with him? Give him a nice warm bath, take him to bed and hold him. Sounds like you guys are both stressed out. I would be too if my husband was away. As long as you don't think that he is stressed, then you are doing everything ok. Just lay down read him a few books, and don't see it as "not letting him win"...sounds like he misses daddy.

Answer 2

Why not try a bed time routine, for example a lovely warm bath, then a story while he is in his bed, then leave some soothing music on softly in the backgound. Get up calmly kiss him good night and walk out. Maybe even a little night light might help in the early days of this new routine. If he does come out don't talk to him just take him by the hand a lead him back to bed and once again walk out calmly. Try to stay calm that is important. He will get the message.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

I think you should try to make bedtime less of a raging battle with him. Playing tug-o-war with the door and letting him kick and scream is only getting him more wound up which is probably making it harder for him to fall asleep.

Lay him down in his bed, turn off the light, and leave the room. Close his door a little but not all the way. Go into another room and continue on quietly. If he gets out of bed, let him. (I know, I know..my suggestions sound bad so far but give me a minute here!)

If he comes into the living room (or wherever you are), walk over without saying anything and pick him up. Walk him back to his room and lay him down. Go back to what you were doing and do the same thing if he gets up again. Be consistent with this and eventually he'll give up and stay in bed.

Think about it this way: You can either struggle and tug-o-war with him until he gives up, or you can walk him back to bed until he gives up.

Answer 4

2 years previous?!?! 2??? did you propose 12? both age is a too youthful to be wearing those type of clothing. The haircut will be ok on a 12 12 months previous, yet when a 2 12 months previous is being uncovered to that type of superstar, then i'd question the father and mom on appropriate television and media viewing for a toddler. At 2 she must be gazing teletubbies or something, no longer surfing by ability of tabloid fodder.

Answer 5

it sounds like you may have a larger problem on your hands. i also had problems with my son from a young age it wasn't necesarily at bedtime but at different times. he was finally diagnosed with mood disorder at age 5. he's now under control with medications. all though i'm not saying your son definitely has this but you may want to talk to his doctors. all though most will tell you that they can't diagnose him until he is older. in the meantime try making sure you have a bedtime routine. bath time close to bedtime can sometimes help soothe a young child. then maybe reading him a book in his room then maybe try classical music or bedtime stories on cd to help him stay soothed while drifting off. and make sure there's a night light in his room. best of luck and i reallly hope he's just transitioning!

Answer 6

I just love 2. Sounds like he needs to go to bed a little earlier. He might be overtired by the time you get him to bed. I put my kids to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 every night. I turn on the night light, read a story and head out. The longer you listen and answer the requests the longer they go on. It's tough, but you'll get through it! Good luck.

Answer 7

Let me understand this : His father is away. You took away his blanket (?) and his pacifier(?) --and you are expecting him to just "get over it?"

Two year olds are still babies in a lot of respects. They are just learning to be independent. If he needs his "bubba" to help him sleep, for goodness sake, give it to him. Those objects are what little ones use to "soothe themselves."

Why are you doing everything you can to make it difficult for him and then expecting him to just settle down and go to sleep? This is not about winning --it is about helping him to calm down and get some sleep.

And don't compare him to his sister -- he is NOT his sister. And if this is how you treated her, I am not surprised you had problems.