Met exgirlfriend after 6 months - she seems low & depressed. Any help/ advice?

Question

We broke up a year ago (her decision; although I was such a great guy to her and never did anything wrong - she was just confused of her feelings). We met last night for dinner after not seeing each other for 6 months. She seemed really unhappy with her life, job, where she was right now. She'd put on weight, didn't talk much. It was very sad, as she wasn't her former self. Despite that, she knows I still like her a lot, and I know she still likes me, but she's unhappy with her life right now. I suspect she's depressed, given what I saw from her last night (she made excuses and after less than two hours of dinner saying she didn't feel well and was feeling tired, and we left the restaurant). I'm kinda concerned for her, and am wondering what to do. She broke my heart when we broke up, so I'm conscious I don't want to get hurt again myself, but I don't want to leave her lying there as she seems so low and hurt right now. Do you think she's depressed. What should/ could I do?

Answer 1

You could give her a "pearl necklace". Girls seem to like things like that.

Answer 2

I definitely think that you should follow up on your meeting. If she is emotionally unhealthy (which it sounds like she is), now is probably not the best time to restart your relationship with her. It would be a good time, however, to show her that you are still there to support her and that she is still someone you care about.
A good way to do this would be either to call, email, or, even better, write her a handwritten note, expressing your concerns about how upset she seemed and suggesting that she consult a therapist to discuss why she is so unhappy right now.
Make it clear to her that you don't think she's crazy and that you are not trying to pass a judgment on her or tell her what to do, but that you sense that she is unhappy and you would like to help. Also offer your own stable friendship and availability as an additional support.
When she gets to the point where she is a healthy individual, then you can begin to discuss the possibility of a healthy relationship together.

Answer 3

The best thing to do at this point is to be a friend for her. Don't get too involved. Let her decide how much she wants you to be there. Don't push things too much. Basically be a friend know. I am actually in the same position but over a year ago I did the same thing. I am actually in a new relationship and have found the light. I could never have been happier. You simply just must talk to her and find out what is going through her head.

Answer 4

Call her, send her email, and just tell her if anything's wrong, if she wants to tell you stuff, you're always there for her, and she doesn't need to hold onto this burden alone.

Make sure that it wasn't dinner with you though, that had her depressed. Like, did she agree willingly to the dinner? Not to be mean, cause, I mean, if you went to dinner, I'm sure your relationship is "friends", at the very least.

But, yeah. Don't be pushy or needy, just offer your services to her, then back off.

Answer 5

sounds to me like something is going wrong in her life. She may suffer from depression. All you can really do is be there for her. You may want to talk to her about depression and try to make her want to get help. They have treatment for that. It is really good of you to be there for her. There is hope for her if she gets the treatment she needs. She doesnt want to be in this state of mind but she is stuck there. Its a lonely place to be. And no matter how many people are around you you still feel lonley and depressed. try to convence her to get help for this.

Answer 6

you need to let her know your observations, that you think she is depressed, and that she may need to get counseling (medication should be a last resort). if you got back with her to make her feel better, once she does, she may just dump you again. you need to be her friend if you want to keep her in your life, but don't get involved in a relationship with her again. she you ex for a reason (even if she broke up with you) don't go there again. get her into some counseling, let her know that you will be there for her if she need to talk, but that you can't get back into the relationship. good luck with your decision

Answer 7

Tell Her To Get Some Help- Talk To A Counsler- Plan Something Nice For Her- Get Her Something For Valentines Day To Show That You Care About Her- Thats Sweet Of You To Care About Her :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)- GOOD LUCK SWEETIE:):

Answer 8

Try to keep in touch. She will try and push you away at first, shes probably used to her life right now, to this routine she got for herself. Job, home, job....so breaking away from it might not be appealing for her, it will seems easier to just keep going with that routine. So she`ll push you away, and thats why she needs you really, you gotta keep going, keep talking, keep helping her. That way finally she`ll stop pushing you, she`ll trust you again, and then she will talk and you could help her. Dont let her go lower, it seems shes in much pain already....

Answer 9

She probably regretted her decision. Unless she makes the first move towards reconciliation and apologies for what she did, I don't suggest in trying to go back.
You could offer to be her friend if she needs someone to talk to, but you shouldn't get any closer. She is going to have to forgive herself for what she did. Or it could be something totally unrelated to your breakup and she could use the friend. Nothing more.

Answer 10

look i comprehend it hurts to even remotely think of she is able to recover from you so quickly. and that i comprehend it hurts to think of that another guy is so great that she is prepared to do something to be the acceptable mate for him. First, comprehend those are all fake. She is in a unfavorable rebound remarkable now. regrettably, she is entering into right into a marriage it extremely is doomed to end. 2d; in case you desire to recover from her you're able to desire to artwork on your self. What grow to be incorrect concerning the relationship you had together with her? What did you do/did no longer try this contributed to the death of the relationship? how are you able to alter? Are you waiting to alter? 0.33; supply your self time. 4 years is a sturdy bite of time to be with somebody. you're able to desire to settle for that the relationship is finished. you apart from mght could desire to attain what strengths you have. you desire to be a sturdy BF for the subsequent woman remarkable? I guess the subsequent woman would not want as much as now some guy who continues to be talking approximately his ex and how mean she grow to be. i could say no relationship for no less than the subsequent 6 months. Get your existence returned on aim and you subject concerns so as. Forth: decide what you extremely need in a woman. Is she tall? Does she have a college degree? Does she like bowling? Are her mom and dad nonetheless married? carry on with your record whilst your completed making it and don't be scared to function to it. 5th: have exciting. existence is short. comprehend those issues ensue and afterwards your a greater powerful man or woman. I guess sometime your ex will call and start up up telling you approximately her quickly to be failed marriage. She'll be searching for convenience and you'd be telling her which you won't be able to talk. Your busy with your new woman and talking on your ex could offend her. you will tell your new woman concerning the ex contacting you and what grow to be mentioned. She'll be happy to call you her guy and he or she'll think of she is so fortunate to have you ever. better of luck!

Answer 11

You should give her a roll in the hay, just to let her know that a guy will still get it up for her.

Just tell her that you don't want to start a new relationship, but that you never had break up sex and now is as good a time as any.