We have been dating for almost three years and he has recently been treating me less romantically. He believes that this is because he is not getting his "friend" energy where he needs it. He says that he needs time to make friends (I am really his only friend) before he can be good to me. I understand his dilemma, but I'm really having trouble understanding why he needs to separate from me in order to make friends. He believes that having a "girlfriend" makes it seem like he is unavailable to other people as a friend. What should I do? I'm not sure he truly understands what it would be like to not have me as a resource or support. I told him that I would like to take a week apart and then discuss either ending our relationship or reconfiguring it in order to make him more available to other people so that he can make more friends. What kind of compromise could this be? Is there a solution where we could be together but he could have the freedom he needs?
2007-01-21 09:20:34 · 3 answers · asked by bananaknit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are both students in college so also very busy with schoolwork. He recently joined a fraternity in order to meet more people, but still finds himself feeling shy and isolated.
2007-01-21 09:38:19 · update #1
That is crap and it sounds like he's trying to cop out of the relationship. From what you wrote, I'd talk with him and explain that you guys not being together so he can make friends makes absolutely no sense, and that he can't break up with you every time he has a dilemia (no friends, no job, dog died, etc). After being in a relationship for 3 years, he should be able to understand that you're in things together. If he doesn't get that, find someone who does.
2007-01-21 09:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation seems like a pretty big step in trying to make new friends. A person can have friends and still be in a relationship, just schedule personal life from social.
2007-01-21 17:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by Bri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me be the first to call BS on this one. Unless you're smothering him, friends shouldn't be a problem. NOBODY has it in their dayplanner, 3:00 - 6:00 PM, find friends.
Sheesh. Friends happen everywhere.
2007-01-21 17:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋