How do you get through deep emotional pain without anti-depressents? is there any mind therapy i can use?

Question

ive had a traumatic year going through emotional hell. i made alot of mistakes, and so did my husband. after a brief seperation we are together and it is great. but i am finding it very very hard to forgive myself for making mistakes and for letting myself down. torturing thoughts and feelings go through my mind andheart every single day. how could i let my marriage get to such a state. but i have learnt alot from all this and it has changed me so much. but not being able to forgive myself and thinking what if is making me very sad and makes me very upset all the time, it got to the point where i didnt want to be alive to keep feeling all these intense feelings.. is there any cognitive therapy i can use to help my mind get through this? i dont want to take anti-depressents, i want to get through it myself somehow? please help me? louise x

Answer 1

I would suggest having some counselling, because you need to forgive yourself, as your husband clearly has, in order to really move forward. Speak to your GP and see what s/he can arrange for you as the last thing you want is for this to cause problems in your marriage again.

Answer 2

I can tell you that I have had thoughts that would make me cry and feel so sad, the depression was so bad that I would not want a enemy to feel the pain I felt.
I met a nice lady that helped me fight the thoughts that I would have and that fight is still what helps me today.
You and your hubby are back together and the pass has been forgiven but you keep thinking about what a bad person you were and now you can not get over it.
When you start thinking that thought,tell yourself that you are a good person. Tell yourself that your husband loves you and that you are worthy of that love because he believes you are. Tell that lie to leave you and not come back. Do this with all your bad thoughts...you might do that every second for a while and that is okay...in time you'll see that your negative thoughts are turning to positive thoughts and that life is good and worth living. Your husband loves you and wants you to be happy. Yes, you do deserve to be happy. We all have made mistakes and did something wrong...now is the time to look at yourself and see that your home doing what you you need to be doing.
Seek out the help you need, call a councelor and talk about what is brothering you.
Forgiving your self is hard...but no one is perfect, not even you. So, keep telling your self how lucky you are that you have a husband that loves and cares about you...and most of all...remember that you can love him back the best you know how. I wish you the best with your battle...I know that it worked with me. In time those bad thoughts stopped coming into my head!!!

Answer 3

Hi, I myself have had a dreadful two years with what sounds like very similar problems to yours and I feel desperately sad and depressed most days, although I am gradually getting better, I also did not want to be on drugs etc. so I followed a bit of advice and to some extent it does work. Every day write down your feelings, whatever they are, sit at the computer and type to your hearts content, write it all down, then leave it for a few days and read it back to yourself, then delete it, sounds a bit odd, but I have gradually been able to bury a lot of demons, good luck and do keep trying to be in a happier place.

Answer 4

definitely go to counselling. it really helps!! Antidepressants are not appropriate for emotional pain, they are for clinical depression which is a medical state (feeling bad is only one of the symptoms).

I find that keeping myself busy helps with my emotional pain that is actually caused by depression. I read books, do crafts, noodle around on the computer, doing things that require mental concentration gives your emotions a break. I take a hot bath sometimes while I read, smell nice perfume, get myself some pretty flowers. I write lists of things that I really like, like cinnamon rolls, kittens playing with a sparkle ball, the first robin, pretty christmas lights, fresh sheets on the bed. Then I read through those lists when I feel really bad.

These tricks I worked out myself, but there is a therapy called dialectical behavior therapy that teaches coping skills to people with really rotten backgrounds (sexual abuse, usually) so they can feel better, and there are a lot of tips in there for people with more ordinary experiences that are nevertheless extremely painful.

Answer 5

id defiantly go for counseling! Ive been seeing a councilor now for 4 months and its so much better! and who would think an 18yr old could get depressed??? just going the doctors i found out i have body dysmorphic disorder! defo get some help, read some good confidence books try, Susan jeffers-feel the fear and do it anyway etc! listen to good music that makes you happy! i do yoga once a week and it has helped loads! go the gym, write things down when you cant sleep! use affirmations everyday in front of the mirror even if you don't believe what your saying! u will feel so much better! come on, if i can do it so can you x

Answer 6

First I would remember that most things we worry about are things that we have no control over. If we take control of what we are able to, then generally we should feel better about the things we are powerless to, including mistakes. I also like to set goals for myself, long term and short term, so I always feel like I'm making progress in some way or another. Maybe also try looking at the hard times as a learning experience. If you learn from your mistakes then you probably will not repeat them, and that should make you feel good!

Answer 7

Although I can't recommend any "mind therapy" personally; I would suggest keeping strong times like this will make you a stronger person in the end.
& just remember ignorence is bliss, something can only affect you along as you let it.

That's my advise I hope it helped

Answer 8

getting hypnotised is the best thing i ever had, it helped me get over panic attacks and depression, dont get me wrong it wasnt an over night fix, but did help alot, making me relax and take a step back from the real world, and helps think more straight. good luck and i hope u find something that helps. best wishes

Answer 9

I went through a very similar experience recently (funnily enough, I'm also 26 and female), but I'd prefer to discuss it over email. So if you want to chat, drop me a line at [e-mail]

Answer 10

Your greatest discovery in life is that you can alter your destiny by altering your attitude."Albert Schweitzer".Let the power of positive thinking develop within you.your thoughts are free.'Don't refuse to acknowledge the negative.Just refuse to submit to it.'Have confidence and success will come your way.Good Luck