I met a man on-line 2 weeks ago. After emails and phone calls, we decided to meet. He expressed sexual interest during the first phone call, apparently based on my photo and our interactions. He also expressed interest in the possibility that this could become long-term. We agreed to a 2-day trip, and he booked a room with one bed in a very romantic hotel. I admit that this was all a grievous error on my part, being swept up in the moment, etc. Last night in an email to him I revealed I have genital herpes. Responses in his email this morning included "bad news," "not necessarily a dealbreaker," and "perhaps twin beds are in order." My discomfort with the entire situation at this point is high. Should I cancel the trip? Go along and assume it is platonic (what we should have done in the first place)? Have him order a sleeping cot for the room? Forget the whole thing? So much projection and denial have taken place, and I am regretting not being more level-headed through this.
2007-01-21 08:36:00 · 11 answers · asked by martha_zinn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you should know that just because you have herpes doesn't mean he will get it IF you are careful and ALWAYS use a condom, ect. however, after knowing someone two weeks, you should not run off and get a hotel room if you want something serious. he could be a serial killer, ect. be more intelligent. get to know him. make sure many people know where you are going and with whom if you decide to go.
2007-01-21 08:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-03 01:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-02 07:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Timothy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got identified with genital herpes (type 2) about 4 years ago, when I was still attending college and had a foolish one-night stand. I understand loads of young women say this, but I swear I had never done that sort of thing before. I just made a mistake that one time and suddenly I felt like I was going to have to live with the implications for my entire life. The hardest part was feeling I could never date other men again. In the end, who wants to go out with a girl that has sores round her private parts? But since a friend shared this movie https://tr.im/Ux01e everything improved.
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2015-09-25 02:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by Alix 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Huggs is on the right track. As a physician I can tell you for certain that (as you most likely know) herpes is a highly contagious STD. Although if you are taking an antiviral medication such as Zovirax, Famvir, or Valtrex your chances of having an outbreak are significantly reduced. It is however still possible (although remote) that when not currently having an outbreak you can spread the virus. Here's a good "backpedal" for you... one person in four statistically have the herpes virus. Most people that have it will never know since they have iether only had one outbreak or none at all. In my opinion, you should get to know your sexual partners before engaging in sexual activities with them. If this gentleman is worth it to you, and you are worth it to him... then postpone your tryst to a later date and just get to know eachother. Educate him about your condition, and if you still wish to have sex do so with caution. In a monogamous sexual relationship while taking medication it is actually signifigantly less common to spread the virus. I wish you the best.
2016-03-29 07:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, you just met him two weeks ago and he's booked a hotel room for you two with the obvious intention of having sex. Any guy who was interested in you for more than long term would not presume to get some the first time he met you face to face. It sounds like he was thinking this was going to be a booty call from the start. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Guys will always act like they're interested in long term if they think they can get some short term up front.
Tell him you'd like to rebook for separate rooms.. him in one, you in the other. See if he's so eager to meet then. If he's up for that, then maybe he's sincere and you can work with the herpes issue after you get to know each other a little better in person.
2007-01-21 08:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jadalina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, revealing that you have herpes must difficult, but he did deserve to know this. Perhas not so soon. Planning to go away so soon may have been a problem also. You probably should have mentioned this in the first conversation. But, at least you are being honset. Talk to him and see how he wants to handle this trip. Good Luck.
2007-01-21 08:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Must be tough. Well to be really honest there is nothing you can do. NO guy is going to want to have sex with a girl that has herpes, so I think the whole thing is off already.
2007-01-21 08:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by Colt Seavers 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
considering you had nver met it was a bad idea to be sharing a bed first time off. Go but have separate rooms. and see if u are compatible. then later deal with everything else.
2007-01-21 08:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by wally 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have them then you need to tell the guys you are looking to get with about it.
Most guys will not want to have anything to do with you because of this.
2007-01-21 08:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋