How do you talk to a control freak?

Question

I currently live in FL I plan on moving to NY*where im originally from*but my mom keeps trying to persuade me to stay home,go to a community college for 2 years(I hate florida,its soooo boring)!Im a good kid,make decent grades,I dont give trouble(unlike my 2 older brothers) and never disobey her b/c shes scary,dominating,and controlling.I'm getting older and should be able to make my own decisions by the time I turn 18. My dad lives in NY and I can live with him if I want but I really want to be independent after high school.It would break my moms heart if I moved with him b/c he never was around for me when I was younger; she basically raised me but now shes becoming too much of a "pushover". I would like to live on my own during college,but that fact wont go through my moms head...how do I make it clear to her? I'm very fustrated and I dont want to take my anger out on her nor my dad.

Yes,NY is expensive but I'd rather pay rent than having to live under dads rules(ex:no boyfriends,no partying,no coming home late,etc..)After living w/my mom I should have some freedom.They constantly use my cousins&siblings mistakes as an excuse to help me make "wise" decisions;I use it as an example as where I DONT want to be(pregnant,unemployed,college-droppout). I know they both want the best for me but I need my space. Thank you all very much for your answers,I have 1 more year to make my final decision.

By the way,shes a very bitter person. If I live w/my dad, I'm sure she would have a long lasting grudge towards me.

Answer 1

You don't have to make it clear to her, you just have to do it. When you are 18 you can do what you want to do. And she sounds like someone you need to get away from for your own sanity. If that means she doesn't help with the costs of college, then oh well, there are hundreds of ways to go to college and work and get loans and grants and so forth to pay the bills. I congratulate you for your independent spirit.

Answer 2

that's no longer the bill finestein wrote so i'm unsure the place you're turning out to be that information. additionally this relies on the sandy hook shooting, clarify how something you listed might have prevented that? And without a reason, i'm no longer prepared to provide up any quantity of freedom. We already did the gun administration final time and it did no longer help, we're not going to pass alongside with doing it back. while are you ppl making plans on addressing the relatively difficulty in this us of a? there replaced right into a large factor made in a prior question, on the grounds that there are no weapons in penal complex why relatively some deaths? possibly you could look on the reason as a replace of that gadget they are utilising. there is not any longer a single attempt being made to handle the difficulty, purely a canine and pony coach by using the vice chairman in the previous he provides an identical law you ppl have wished for years. it relatively is an identical law that didnt artwork final time with some greater tweaks.

Answer 3

Check out dorming, if you go into the New York SUNY system but use your dad's home as residence (just so you can get the education savings) you can get a top-rate education at a very low price. Independence is important, I agree, and you should pursue it, but dorming might be a good choice initially.
Also, if you move to the western New York area, real estate can be pretty cheap. NYC is expensive but there is a lot of very affordable real estate in other parts of the state, if you want to start renting initially.

Answer 4

Well for starters, NY is very expensive. How are you going to afford your own place? Do you know how much apartments are where you want to go? Are you putting yourself through college?
Do your homework here, make a plan. Save your money, as much as you possibly can. Show her the plan and tell her what your goal is. After you turn 18, there is nothing she can legally do to prevent this. You may hurt her feelings. But, you cant sacrifice your own dreams for a controlling mommy.
Good luck to you!

Answer 5

have you looked at the practical part of this plan of yours can you pay your own way through college It sound like to me that you just want to get away from your mother and she is not happy about you going. As you said soon you will be 18 and legally responsible for your own welfare so I guess it is up to you to do the mature bit and explain to your mom what you are doing and that is you final answer

Answer 6

well baby girl read all of the other answers and gust add this one to the pot.I love NEW YORK but it hard to live hear and i mean hard. it.s fun and the opportunity's are endless and that's for the good and the bad finish school you will need it hear.A lot of us have schooling and still work 2 jobs just to get buy.Be careful Be very careful hear in the N.Y.C Come but come correct.And one other thing if your father cared about you he would have not left you and your mother from the door be careful be very careful.

One love

Answer 7

sit her down and talk to her about it. tell her what u want to do after high school and tell her that you'll try to see her during breaks, maybe even call her every week to keep in touch and show her that u still love and think about her.

Answer 8

The way your'e dscribing her, she ain't a control freak, just a very concerned mom.

Answer 9

sit her down and let her know you need your space, if she still acts that way, you may have to hurt her feelings to get Her attention!
good luck hun hang in there

Answer 10

try to spent time with both