My 19-year-old daughter got in a wreck last week when she rear-ended a truck in front of her. At that point she got a ticket and I found out that she had a suspended license for not paying a previous speeding ticket. We bought her the car, and it is insured on our insurance. Since she apparently doesn't have a drivers license she was told she couldn't drive any of our other vehicles (as hers is totalled). Last night we went to some other people's house and she took the truck (expensive $40,000 vehicle) without permission.
My husband (her step-dad) called the police and reported it stolen and asked that she be arrested. We also found out that she had been drinking prior to taking the truck. They didn't catch her and she had the truck returned before the cops caught up wiht her.
What would you have done? Did we overreact?
2007-01-21 06:46:07 · 21 answers · asked by Vicki W 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You did not react enough. This girl has like major disrespect for you. If she is this bad and unconcerned it is time to lock up the keys and boot her out.
I would give her one chance though and one chance only to admit she has a problem. She is underage and drinking and driving. She could have killed someone.
Sorry but sometimes tough love is the only love. She keeps doing this and she is going to really harm your living environment. If she isn't already.
2007-01-21 06:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by logan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're husband did EXACTLY CORRECT!!! DO NOT MOLLY-CODDLE that kind of behavior, or high insurance premiums and totalled expensive pick-up trucks, of which I have an identically priced one, will be the LEAST of your worries. I am a retired mental health practitioner with 20+ years experience, in substance abuse / dependence as well as family and a million other realms, and I can tell you that that program "Tough Love" is EXACTLY what your daughter, and ya'll, need a big dose of NOW!! The longer you wait, the more impossible the problem will be to fix! God Bless you.
2007-01-21 06:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you acted appropriately. Nothing excessive about it. She is nineteen years old and considered an adult. Treat her like one. If any one else had taken your truck what would you and the police have done. I would not want any one staying in my house if they were stealing from me even my own child. As difficult as it is she needs a wake up call in how the real world works, and you need to begin giving it to her. Take her off your insurance so you do not have to pay for another accident if she takes you vehicle with without your permission.
2007-01-21 06:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by Yo_horse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOT AT ALL ... you guys did the right thing to do and your getting this from a 21 year old :) I was acting up at a young age as well ..getting tickets, going out till late .. etc.. I am VERY happy my parents was as hard on me as they was. I thought they were evil at the time but now I think that was the best thing they have ever done for me. I also met my other half at the age of 17.. he was a good boy and really turned me around for the better. We now have a beauitful daughter (18 month olds) and I know I'm going to be a wonderful parent because of the way I was raised! Trust me .. one day your daughter is going to be thanking you!!
Stay strong .. its the right thing :) Take Care, God Bless!
2007-01-21 06:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by 05&08 Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have done the same in that position. So, no, you did not overreact.
If you didn't call it in being stolen, she could have gotten into an accident and since insurance is in your name, you get sued because you let her drive the truck.
Don't help her buy another vehicle or let her drive yours anymore. Take all the keys and hide them from her, so she has to start asking for rides everywhere.
2007-01-21 06:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband did NOT overreact... at 19 she should have the good sense that you have shown her all her years....
If she is living under your roof and taking your vehicles and acting so irresponsibly she needs to be called to task.
Do not feel guilty! Keep it up and perhaps she will wise up as to responsibility (not even going to speak to the drinking and driving issue as I am sure you will handle that with the same correctness you did in reporting her)
Best of Luck...
2007-01-21 06:51:26 · answer #6 · answered by zack b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe you over reacted at all. It sounds like she needs to learn some responsiblity. Mom and dad will not always be around for her. She did a stupid thing and needs to learn. Some people learn the easy way while others learn the hard way. If it was me in this situation I would have kicked her out of the house for good. I probally would have called the cops too. She needs to learn.
2007-01-21 06:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you did not over react i would have done the same thing and just because she came home doesn't mean the charges need to be droped i would take her off the insurance and would not help her get another car either some times we as parents need to do these things in order for our kids to learn from there mistakes she is old enough to live with her bad decisions and it's her mistake ...i'd have had her at least almost arrested at home just to teach her a lesson good luck
2007-01-21 06:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by auntie s 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing. You can & should still press charges against her for grand theft. What she did isn't just illegal, it was dangerous. She could have killed herself or someone else. If you take a tough stance on this, you will be showing her that you love her enough to want her to be safe. She needs to be held accountable for her actions. She is a grown up now & needs to behave like one. Do not baby her. It will give her the impression that this behavior is acceptable.
2007-01-21 06:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by jodi g 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give the car to your son. She has shown she is too irresponsible to own a car, since she drove one without insurance or a license. You're not taking the car away permanently. You're just giving the current one to your son who NEEDS it. She doesn't have a license. She doesn't need it at all. I'm sure she'll be angry over "her little mistake" and it's punishment, but she needs to learn to be responsible.
2016-05-24 06:38:33 · answer #10 · answered by Cynthia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋