He works in the day and I work in the evening. He doesn't mind the opposite schedules but I do. I feel we are missing out on quality time. Has anyone ever been in a relationship and had this same problem? How can we make it work? On that note we do not live together.
2007-01-21 06:34:37 · 13 answers · asked by Jen Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks everyone for your answers/advice. Just to clarify, We try to spend every day off together but there are times, like right now, where we cannot see each other for a week or week an a half. It is sad because we live close by. He goes to work at 7a and gets off at 4p. I go in at 3p and off at 11:30p when he is asleep. I try to meet him for lunch as often as possible. This is new to our relationship. I recently graduated college and started working in my career, so it is hard for me to change my schedule. Before I finished school we worked the same schedule. I think I am just lonely right now. I do hope it works out. I love him. We are both working so we can buy a house. thanks for all your help/advice.
2007-01-21 07:30:53 · update #1
yes it can
2007-01-21 06:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by pss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he works during the day and you work in the evening it doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. What about the weekends? How do your schedules run? Is there any time you can be together then? What time do you go to work and what time does he get off work? Are we talking about 1st shift as opposed to 3rd shift? If this is the case then on the weekends, usually the 3rd shift ends for the week on Friday night and 1st shift ends Friday afternoon. This would mean that you have Saturday and Sunday to be together. If it is 1st as opposed to 2nd shift you would both have even more time. If it is something like a flex schedule then the schedules will change from week to week and there is no reason that time can't be found for you to be together. There is an old adage which states, "Where there is a will, there is a way." Think about it.
2007-01-21 14:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to coordinate your schedules so that you both have the same off days all the time. That way you can plan quality time and fun stuff. A lot of employers will work with you if you have a valid reason, such as going to school, having a second job, etc. So you might have to cheat a little to get from your employer what you want, but it might be well worth it....good luck
2007-01-21 14:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by What Will The Spill Kill? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought was "no", but considering that you're not living together, it might, but you have to get on the same schedule once you're married/living together.
My 15 year marriage ended because my ex was more focused on work. He could earn more money working the night/graveyard shift, and I worked during the day. He also worked on the weekends, which were my days off. He rarely, if ever, spent any time with the boys and I.....not a way to have a family.
Since you're only dating, it might be ok, but he is giving you a hint as to how important you and the relationship is to him.
Just my 2cents.
2007-01-21 14:40:50 · answer #4 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work shifts too... My fiance works in the day...
There was a time where it was the other way around...
It wasn't easy... There was a period where he never made time to see me at work. So I seeked attention from other people whom I did see often. He got jealous and realised that he better make an effort to see me more often or he's going to lose me... I tell you it puts alot of strain on a relationship... A hell of alot!
You gotta just be strong in your faith for one another and also in love. Trust is also the issue here...
If you really can't handle it then get another job! That's the only solution!
Good luck!
2007-01-21 14:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by *Flutter* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with work schedules like that or long distance relationships are always hard. It is understandable how you feel, but in the same breath it should also make the time that you have together more special. the realtionship with work if you make it work. have you considered trying to change your hours at your current job or maybe finding another where you work during the day!
2007-01-21 14:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by Candy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can work. Make use of weekends or when you two have common down time from work. You can also consider cohabitating.
Try to focus on the time you do have together especially if you live in the same city.
2007-01-21 14:40:20 · answer #7 · answered by eaglefox200 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I currently am in the same situation, we just spend our days off together and get in the qt that way. I have been together with my spouse for over seven years now. It works, it actually helps because even after seven years we do not get sick of each other, we do not argue just to argue. It helps us to give each other our space.
2007-01-21 14:40:53 · answer #8 · answered by eshamn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm-
depends.
do you talk on the phone often (every day or two)?
do you spend your weekends together?
how often do you guys have time?
if two or three of these were no, you might want to consider getting a new job. i am aware of the difficulty in finding a new job, but it depends. for love or for your job?
yeah, i altered the saying. XD
Hope I helped... =]
2007-01-21 14:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When does he wake up every day? set an alarm and call him to wish him a good day. Text each other, take him lunch on his lunch hr...it works trust me.
2007-01-21 14:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can work.
You have the weekends together.
Good Luck
2007-01-21 14:38:41 · answer #11 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋