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I've been taught that I have to have an arranged marriage, which is fine so long as I have enough of a say in who I end up with (which is how I think it will be, but needless to say, I digress).

Is there anything in the scriptures that forbids dating?

2007-01-21 06:03:13 · 3 answers · asked by lotusmoon01 4 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

(Please, only Hindus answer)

2007-01-21 06:12:46 · update #1

3 answers

No there is nothing in the scriptures as far as I know. It's a cultural thing (or a family values thing), not a religious thing.
Arranged marriages were the norm in most of the world in the past due to the way society worked, not because of religion (there were arranged marriages even in Christianity, Buddhism, etc in the past). The majority of world only started marrying for love in the last 2-3 centuries (not till the 17th century in England, I think)
.
Some (although fewer these days) Indian families still believe in arranged marriages because they fear if you marry for love, you will end up divorced after a few years because you did not take into account important factors like shared goals, family compability, education, etc. They are trying to preserve family values, culture by finding someone of similar background. Also in the past it offered some type of protection.. .like if the guy you married started to fool around or beat you, the two families would get together and punish the guy and protect the girl (although this system didn't always work).
On the other hand there are still families who abuse the whole arranged marriage thing to increase their social status, wealth etc. And if you ended up with a bad spouse and a bad family, you were in a pickle!


Who says you have to have an arranged marriage?? If it is your parents, tell them how you feel.. they should care for your happiness too, just don't shut them out--that will only freak them out. Provide this option instead:
Probably the better (and more commonly used way these days) is a "partial arranged marriage" where your family finds potential guys or girls for you based on background and then you talk/meet for a few weeks/months and decide if you like them or not. If the family approves and you like the person..it's a go. Also, if there is a guy you like.. do you homework on the guy first so you have a good case to present. Then, ask your parents to check out the family.. it makes them feel included.


I remember once my 4th grade teacher once told me that I had to have an arranged marriage because I was hindu and how did I feel about that (this is what the 4th grade text said.. in addition to saying Hindus worshipped cows and are polytheistic). I went home and told my mom and she busted out laughing. That was more than 25 years ago... hope the textbooks are better now!

2007-01-21 12:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by violetkites 3 · 0 0

OH MY GOD...their Gods hump non stop.....so u cannot date but asking ur date/fiancee to knock you up.....so that you can be pregnant then stand b4 your parents and ask em to marry you off...

Coz Hindus believe if you become pregant through someone or you cause pregnancy in a woman/animal...you gotta marry her/It....

2007-01-21 14:10:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

try Hindu singles dating sites..maybe that will help you.

2007-01-21 14:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

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