My fiance is in a band. Tommorrow is my birthday and he just now told me that he has to do a show at a bar tommorrow night. The problem is I"m not twenty one so I won't be able to go. I was really looking foward to spending tommorrow evening with him since it is my birthday. I asked him why he decided to do a show on my birthday of all days and why he didn't tell me untill the last minute what he had planned and he said he did it because his band is importand and he didn't tell me untill the last minute becuase he knew I would try to talk him out of it. He said that if I really loved him I"d know that his band is very important to him and he should take every chance to get his music out there. I completely support his band and his music, it's just that I wanted him to spend time with me on my birthday. Am I being selfish for wanting him to spend time with me instead of doing his show on my birthday?
2007-01-21 05:59:22 · 4 answers · asked by Lachelle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
go easy on him. It is understandable to be upset but at the same time you have to realize that sometimes if you don't take a gig you might not get another one. If some one does you a favor by letting your band play in their bar so you can get your name out there your not going to be picky about the day. It is really hard for band to get someone to let them play.
Any day can be just as special as you birthday. In a relationship there needs to be some give and take. Even if he stays home on your b-day hes probably not going to be in a very good mood because you made him stay home. I think the best thing would be to celebrate another day.
2007-01-21 06:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by Caligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off he's a musician and if the gig happened to fall on his own birthday he would play on that day as well.
With you not being a musician or musician-oriented, it's hard to be understanding about his drive to be successful.
My advice to you is not to get involved with goal-oriented people since you want them to accomodate and work around your special days or events that you feel are more important than their will to succeed. Find a regular Mon-Fri 9-6'er. They're your best choice!
Good luck!
2007-01-21 06:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think the wives and girlfriends of NFL and NBA players ask them to stary home on their birthdays. When musicians go on tour, do they plan performances around their girlfriends' wishes. Same for actors and actresses, pilots, firefighters.....in short, you are being self centered and selfish. You are not mature enough for a relationship if you get that hung up on your birthday.
2007-01-21 06:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish. I think that he should remember that you are with him to and he can't always be putting his band first exspecially on your birthday and other important days.
2007-01-21 06:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋